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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Written a Dear John Letter?

A "Dear John" letter is the quintessential breakup tool if you can’t bear to say goodbye to someone’s face, or at least it used to be back when people wrote letters. With so many outlets for communication these days, if you’re going to back out of the direct breakup, it might just be easier to get him on the phone. But letters and well-written emails can actually be a great way to say what you really want to say to someone. So I wonder, have you ever written a letter to end a relationship?


italianblonde italianblonde 9 years
Breaking up in person is the only way to go..
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
I don't have much experience dating people, but the first time my current boyfriend broke up with me, he sent it in an e-mail. Imagine how appalled I was to come home after 16 hours on campus, sitting through an hour and a half of traffic, starving, then get a break-up e-mail. I would never do that to someone. They deserve the truth in person!
emalove emalove 9 years
Yes, but it was actually to end a friendship with a girl, not to break off a relationship...I regret it to this day and hate that I didn't have the guts to just talk with her face-to-face.
Marci Marci 9 years
I'm a big writer and will write people and express things to them in that way. But when it comes to breaking up with someone, I'm old school and do it face to face. I think that's called respect.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 9 years
3 years ago I broke up with my douchebag ex-boyfriend via a message on facebook. I figured it was only appropriate, since in the entirety of our 6 month "relationship" that's how he chose to communicate with me (whenever he felt like it, that is).
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Nope. It's cowardly.
girllovewarrior girllovewarrior 9 years
No, I can't imagine being in an intimate loving relationship with someone, and then, when it ends, having it end via a letter. I love writing letters, but they are meant for romance, not bad news.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
That is horrible and really tacky. Tell the guy to his face.
MandyPinecone MandyPinecone 9 years
i did the email thing. i was seeing the guy for a couple of weeks he was living 2 1/2 away. we saw each other once a week, maybe.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
OMG, looseal, I didn't even think if it but our friends name is JOHN too that had the letter TYPED to him. We don't EVER call him john, we call him taco.......don't ask why, it's been so long, I couldn't even tell you.
pinkprincess1101 pinkprincess1101 9 years
never have but wish i had sent one to my ex husband before we divorced, yeah yeah i know im being spiteful but i dont care
looseseal looseseal 9 years
I've done it by email (I express myself better in writing, and it wasn't really a serious relationship yet, anyway). Incidentally, the guy's name was John.
chicobo chicobo 9 years
I've had it done to me! It really sucked...even worst that he was trying to be so logical and nice about it. If I ever see him again.... ;) I found out later he was engaged. Geeze.
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 9 years
I've done it a couple times, but it's a punk bitch move so i don't do it anymore.
zawackirz zawackirz 9 years
I texted someone to tell him I didn't want to hang out with him. In my defense! We were only seeing each other for a month or so and we never talked on the phone. He lived an hour away, so saw each other once a week. He was boring anyway...he was pretty pissed, so I called to apologize. oh least its not a post it note...? hehehehe
alliallialli alliallialli 9 years
I've written an email, because the whole thing was long-distance, and wasn't exactly a serious "relationship"anyway.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
A really good friend of ours just got his heart broken this way recently. He had been dating an older woman for over a year and 1/2. One night he went to her house and there was a TYPED letter taped to her door for him. I felt so bad for him. He was really upset.
sass317 sass317 9 years
I sent a break up email to a boyfriend I was living with bc he stopped coming home and I wanted to get it over with. he didnt have a cell phone and I figured he would get the email before I would see him again in person. I was so tired of him and his behavior and talking to him wasnt working anymore- he was doing drugs and drinking heavily, so I sent the email and layed it all out for him so there was no misunderstanding. It was a relief to send it.
sldc sldc 9 years
I cannot say I would not write a letter or an email, but I have never broken a relationship in this way. I admit that I snarled at the "who writes letters anymore" option.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
I did it once about 4 yrs. ago.I believe he still has the letter. :p
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
The only person I would have done that to, I figured he was too dumb to read and comprehend the letter anyway, so I ended up doing it in person after all.
smileyface smileyface 9 years
I haven't written a Dear John letter to end a relationship, but I definitely write letters, well now I use e-mail, to express my feelings sometimes to significant others. I feel like if I try to talk on the phone or in person I get all tongue-tied and nervous and nothing comes out the way I want it to, so writing it out helps. Even if I don't send the e-mail, it still helps me to write down everything I want to say before talking to the person and using that as a sort of guide.
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