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Dear Poll: Propose Without a Ring?

Once you're engaged, you'll hopefully have your engagement ring for the rest of your life, or at least the duration of your marriage, so it's important that you love the ring you're given. Some women are lucky; their boyfriends have exquisite taste and pick out beautiful rings, but other women have to make sure their mom, best friend, and boss know exactly what she wants so there's no room for error.

Then there are the men who are so worried about getting it all wrong that they actually propose without a ring at all and let the bride-to be-pick one out on her own. While it's better to be safe than sorry, what I want to know is, would you be okay with being proposed to without a ring?


splendapop splendapop 9 years
My fiancee and I have known each other for years and have been a couple for years as well. It is interesting how we've pretty much decided on me just getting a diamond wedding ring without an engagement ring and I have to say, I am happy and relieved with the decision and I'll tell you why. (By the way, we are going to take a final look at the ring I've decided on at Tiffany and Co. this weekend so I'll update everyone on how it goes.) Okay here are the reasons: We know we're getting married and when he pops the question we know we don't want a long engagement period because we want to start our lives right away as "marrieds" and plus we want to start a family guick ( I'm 38, he's 46 ), and we don't want a huge,expensive, forever-to-plan wedding. (You should be able to discuss ring stuff with your partner, its' a sign of a mature and trusting intimate relationship... Okay, read on)Since there is going to be such a brief engagement period, he's just going to propose with the beautiful diamond wedding ring from Tiffany's & Co. and at the wedding ceremony I just won't wear the ring, he will have it and just slide it on my finger when it comes time for us to exchange rings. I love this idea!!! Everyone is happy. We don't break the bank at this stage in our lives ( Shucks, that dough could be a downpayment on a house or for our future kids). Plus, I feel great for not burning a hole in his pocket and I love the fact that it is the marriage that is more important and commit-worthy and special than the engagement period, in my opinion.Plus, I'm not 22(but, I look it), I'm 38 and did I mention, I have been proposed to with a ring before by someone else, but we didn't get married, so the engagement ring is like been there , done that a bit. Also, knowing our engagement committment has been solid without a ring makes me love and trust him and us even more!!!PLUS, I love the look of a solid beautiful diamond wedding band without anything to distract from it. To wear a wedding band/ring is more meaningful to me. Different strokes for everyone and if you are young or old and getting married and have always dreamed of the engagement ring fantasy, go for it, but it's your future together you want to ensure is solid and happy and if the two of you are happy with the decision, you aren't broke, and you have a lifelasting relationship than its' all good! There are a lot of nice rings with diamonds or without that can make as excellent engagement/wedding rings and if he get it from Tiffany &Co., what do you have to lose! My fiancee suggested I tell others when they ask, that my ring is a "marriage ring". This is one of the reasons I love him so much...he's brilliant! I'll keep you posted. Meanwhile, don't let the ring thing make you crazy... I've been there, but I've survived because I found a brilliant ring and a brilliant man!
Jacinthe Jacinthe 9 years
I'd actually prefer my guy not give me a ring at all if a proposal happens. The only jewelry I wear is one specific necklace, and I can't stand wearing rings. They get in the way of my fingers, and I'm always afraid they'll fall off. Never mind that I'm an artist and I'd constantly have to be taking it off and on so it wouldn't end up covered in acrylics, ink, mud (I've painted with it before, I kid you not) and god only knows what else. I'm considering a tattoo on the finger where a ring would go if/when I ever get married.
Eternity Eternity 9 years
I always said a gumball machine ring would be acceptible. If he can complete that tiny task, the effort part is spoken for. The rest is what counts.
Alannah Alannah 9 years
I don't have an engagement ring and never will--I told him I didn't want one. I hate diamonds! I'm married and only wear my band & that's exactly how I wanted it.
DCStar DCStar 9 years
I'm married and never got a ring. My wedding band has diamonds inlaid in it, and I'm happy to not wear $30,000 around every day through the streets of DC. My husband and I decided that maybe in a few years, we'll get some nice anniversary jewelry, but I've never been a jewelry girl. I'll go for a week without earrings!
AmyLizK AmyLizK 9 years
I told my bf I wouldn't marry him until he could buy me a Cartier ring... I should add, I don't actually want to get married ;) (He knows that too)
murmurkibbies murmurkibbies 9 years
Oh, who cares? The ring is such a tiny, unimportant detail compared to what you're promising here. Look how materialistic we've all become. A temporary ring to "hold you over"? For the love of God...
nicachica nicachica 9 years
LOL Vikingprin! Now that's a classic proposal (and story)! :)
vikingprin vikingprin 9 years
First of all, let me just say that my parents just celebrated their 30th anniversary last month - and my mom has NEVER had an engagement ring. I was always more worried about the perfect man than the perfect ring. My now-dh was so cute though. He tried on rings from my jewelry box and picked out an antique ring without telling me (though I knew he was going to propose soon). He came home on Valentines day, made me shut my eyes, and ripped off another ring to try it on. By the time we were at dinner, my finger hurt so bad! lol Plus we got a bit drunk, and he missed the chance to propose with the piano player playing, so he had to run and find him and beg him to play again. Then he got down on one knee and fell over. But I wouldn't have had it any other way ;)
sdsunshine2119 sdsunshine2119 9 years
It's the thought that counts. It sounds romantic... like he can't wait to make you his wife, so he'll ask you even if he isn't completely prepared. Also, this reminds me of Knocked Up. I thought that was really cute of Ben.
LittleLady12 LittleLady12 9 years
Hee hee Sweet as Sugar, I'm right there with you. I guess I'm just traditional, so I would hate it if I was proposed to without a ring. I'd want us to pick it out together before the proposal if he's so clueless about what I'd like.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
Discuss the ring beforehand-- direct him to it, and then let him do the rest!
ezyko ezyko 9 years
I think it is important to give your boyfirend suggestions and discuss what it is that you would really love, for the rest of your life, but there is something about the romantic element of surprise that is so necessary.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
Well I made it easy for my guy... I had an exact replica of the ring I want.... (CZ of Course).... so alll is has to do is replace the silver with platinum and the CZ with Diamond and he's in! But Id rather him give me a temp ring... and then let me go pick out the one I LOVE>... But I like this TV proposal... On Girlfreinds.... Toni Childs' man gave her 4 options of rings.... and just keep pulling pulling out boxes while he was down on one knee...
brittanyk brittanyk 9 years
I picked out the ring because he knew it was important to me, there was no big surprise proposal or anything, and that's just the way I wanted it. Plain, simple, easy. :)
ChelseaGirl ChelseaGirl 9 years
I agree with cravinsugar. I want to see what he picks out for me. There's something really special and romantic about him making that decision. For me, it's about the marriage, not the ring. So THAT'S why I want him to pick it out, as opposed to the "ring of my dreams."
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
I think part of the whole proposal process is him going and taking the time to pick out the ring that he thinks I a suprise. I don't want any hand in picking out my ring. He has bought me jewelry before, and everything he has picked out is gorgeous, so I look forward to seeing what little piece of perfection he chooses to signal the beginning of us together as "committed".
marthalilian126 marthalilian126 9 years
I'm not sure -- I would definitely want a ring on my finger BUT I would want it to be the right one. I think window shopping before the proposal would be the ideal situation for me. Of course, my best friend already has pictures of my dream ring, so once the right guy comes along, I'm sure she'll point him in the right direction.
sass317 sass317 9 years
My dad proposed to my mom twice. The first time she laughed and told him he was crazy bc they hadnt been together very long. She said yes the second time, we always joked that if he had REALLY wanted to show mom he was serious he should have had a ring ONE of the times he asked. They got one after they got engaged. If it was a spur of the moment proposal, I wouldnt really have a problem with no ring, but I honestly wouldnt really feel engaged until I had one. My DH is really traditional though, so he went and talked to my dad, had a ring (we went ring shopping together) and got down on one knee- the whole nine yards. After all (speaking from personal experience) when you tell people you are engaged, the eyes to straight to the hand.
bbkf bbkf 9 years
I'm glad my hubby proposed with a ring that he had picked out. I view it as a gift from him to me, so I wouldn't want it to be something I had chosen for myself. Plus, he knows me so well, he knew exactly what I would like.
Dancergrl Dancergrl 9 years
My fiance had a temporary setting for the diamond - the diamond was a family heirloom (good thing, because we never would have been able to afford one that size otherwise!) but he knew I was picky and didn't want to pick the wrong setting. So he bought a temporary setting for $120 and then the jeweler gave us a credit when we took it in to the store to pick out a permanent setting. It was a nice compromise between the 'ring/no-ring' proposal debate. - D
vmruby vmruby 9 years
My husband had this whole elaborate, beautiful surprise and he proposed with a ring but honestly, if the truth be known ,it wouldn't have made the moment any less meaningful had there not been one at the time.Engagement rings ,like wedding bands are a symbol of love and committment and i have never, ever, once considered either one of my rings a sign of ownership.
chasingjamie chasingjamie 9 years
i absolutely want a ring when he proposes. i would love having a ring knowing that he went and picked it out on his own, taking into consideration what i like and don't like.
lala788 lala788 9 years
i never been married before and my b/f hasn't pop the big question yet, so i can only guess how i would feel if... i think i would be very excited to be asked but, i will be very disappointed if he didn't give me a ring when his ask, so my vote was no i couldn't feel really engaged until i have a ring on my finger.
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