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Dear Poll: Sleeping in Separate Beds

All relationships are different and things that work for some couples don't for others. Sleeping in separate beds is one of those things. Growing up, I never realized that my grandparents having separate bedrooms was out of the norm, but as an adult, I realize that they clearly just weren't compatible bedmates. Maybe one of them snored or hogged the bed. Whatever the reason, it worked for them; they were married for over 50 years!

I personally think one of the best parts about a relationship is sleeping together. You have an instant bed warmer, someone to cuddle with throughout the night, and someone to wake up next to in the mornings. That's just me, so what about you? Would you ever consider sleeping in separate beds from your significant other?


Join The Conversation
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
i dont love to cuddle but i still would like to sleep in the same bed as him. i need my space, yeah. but it can be done though we share the same bed, right? u dont always have to be huggie wuggie.
zawackirz zawackirz 8 years
I wish I had someone to fall asleep with. =( thats why I'm up so late reading this. insomnia sucks.
thelorax thelorax 8 years
Haha I had to sleep in the guest room alone a few months ago to do a sleep study, and I was so miserable that I couldn't sleep and the equipment couldn't get a reading.
cotedazur cotedazur 8 years
my in-laws sleep in separate bedrooms, and i find it heartbreaking. i could never do it... my husband says he sleeps better without me, but happier with me. i think happiness is more important than sleep (although i should admit that i sleep like a rock, so he never bothers me).
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I can't cope or sleep if he's not right there next to me for the whole night. I'd hate sleeping in seperate rooms and I know he would hate it too.
valancyjane valancyjane 8 years
We drew the short straw on our group vacation last week and ended up with twin beds - it was some of the best sleep of my life! At home, I wake up when he comes home (he works nights), when he comes to bed, whenever he has snoring fits, etc. The sleep schedule wasn't an issue on vacation, obviously, but I didn't hear his snoring from across the room, and he didn't steal the covers or hog the space. I would miss cuddling if we were in separate beds all the time, but I can definitely see the advantages. And just in case anyone was wondering ... yes, sex is possible in a twin bed. Ahem.
julieulie julieulie 8 years
I would LOVE to have my own bed! Share a bedroom, with my own bed -- the perfect compromise! My husband is a total bed-hog, and not a cuddler at all, so there is really no point to sharing a bed with him -- he would just spend all night trying to push me away. Now that he moved away for residency and we're in a long-distance marriage, I'm sleeping better than ever because I have the whole bed to myself and nobody is spending all night trying to shove me out of bed! It's wonderful! It's going to be such an adjustment when I am eventually able to move up to where he is -- I know he wouldn't go for it because it's not mainstream, but having separate beds would be totally ideal -- it is exhausting for me because I never get more than 1-2 hours of sleep/night in the same bed as him because he tosses and turns and shoves me all night long. >:O
Liss1 Liss1 8 years
No, i love sleeping in the same bed :)
lawchick lawchick 8 years
I said "no," but there are exceptions -- he is a waiter and if he is working until 2 or 3 am on a night where I have to work the next morning, he often sleeps on the couch. I am a super light sleeper and if he came to bed it would inevitably wake me up and I'd have a hard time getting back to sleep.
sonya-ina sonya-ina 8 years
Noooo! I like cuddling before my husband and I fall asleep, but when I really want to go to bed I don't like being touched, haha! However, I love love love knowing he's there in bed with me, even if we're not touching, hehe :]
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
It makes me very sad when we don't sleep together. I feel much more rested the next morning if he is next to me. We do use separate blankets, because we both are blanket hogs, but that's really it.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
No! I never could sleep in seperate beds! I think sharing a bed is avery personal thing and a good way to bond. If someone is a hog or snores, there ARE ways to fix that! King bed, those snore things you put on your nose...
psychobabble psychobabble 8 years
My hubby and I currently share a full bed, which is way too small for both of us, but we're in grad school and can't afford a big purchase yet! The first time my parents came to visit us after the wedding, my mom saw the guest bedroom with my old comforter on it and freaked out thinking we were sleeping in separate rooms. It was hysterical! Even though the bed's too small and we have sharing issues with the covers, I don't think I could ever sleep in separate beds. In college we made sharing a twin XL work, sort of!
MandyPinecone MandyPinecone 8 years
i can't see having separate beds. i need my hubby in bed to sleep.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I love falling asleep together. We do tend to cuddle up all night, so we dont really have any issues, despite the fact we're both cover hogs!
sarah100682 sarah100682 8 years
I sleep like crap with someone else in the bed...maybe if it was a king bed, but he is always rolling over to my side, snoring, etc. I can't stand it. I would love my own bed. Its nothing personal towards him, I just cant sleep. But if I dont have to get up early its not really a big deal, if I do, thats another story. So I say it depends.
lilCROAT03 lilCROAT03 8 years
it's hard to sleep with him bc he snores really loud (he's broken his nose numerous times bc of boxing). coincidentally i'm a very light sleeper and i mean VERY. so i get frustrated and when i'm really tired i have to sleep on the couch bc i can't handle it. this doesn't include his yelling of 'HEY HEY!!!!' in his sleep startling me, him boxing with the closets in the room, while still asleep, then ONCE he woke up and called me by his wayyyy long ago ex's name- oh yeah...... i think you all get me.
gemsera gemsera 8 years
Haha funny subject. I snore, talk, sleep with my eyes open, hog the bed etc... my beau likes to "spin" so he needs his room too. We have the same bed though, we have a laugh about it and it helps keep us close. I dont think we could ever sleep seperately, although his dad and his dads mrs have seperate BEDROOMs decorated in their own style and love it... dunno how they do it!
HeidiMD HeidiMD 8 years
I do get my own space in my shared bed. It's big enough to spread out and not feel crowded or pushed around in my sleep, but I can slide over whenever I do need to snuggle. However, if he was a snorer, I wouldn't really have a problem sleeping in my own bedroom.
lexichloe lexichloe 8 years
After being together for this long, I can't say we'll NEVER sleep in seperate beds. His snoring, my insomnia...bad combo. Doesn't mean we don't love one another and won't share a bed sometimes, it just means it's possible. Jeez, we all need sleep.
mnp mnp 8 years
I voted "it depends". We both have our own apartments when he feels like he needs to be well rested he goes home to sleep in his own bed. I like having my own bed with I'm feeling sick or achy. I need room to stretch; or if I feel that need to bundle up on blanket. I think having a sofa bed or a rollaway is a good idea for those times.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
when i'm sick i have to have my own bed. otherwise we sleep together. i admit that when we vsit my dad, the tiny double bed is a bit on the small side.
g1amourpuss g1amourpuss 8 years
Only if we have a major fight. But I totally put up with the snoring, the talking in his sleep, the random nights he rolls over and almost suffocates my face with his pillow that he holds while he sleeps.. down to his LOUD headphones in his ear with Coast to Coast blaring.. whatever. I bought us a king-size bed a few months back, so there's more room to push him over when he gets ridiculous. Once, I couldn't sleep because he was all noisy.. So sometimes in our old bed when he would turn over the WHOLE bed would shake like an earthquake.. well that time I was so pissed I was trying to fall asleep so I started yelling at him "YOU BIG APE".. now he thinks it's so funny. ..we mostly just cuddle on the weekends though, and like last night he put his big foot out to have next to me. Pretty sweet.
Jem83 Jem83 8 years
Growing up, I saw one set of my grandparents always sleep in separate beds, but I believed it was just a generational thing until very recently, when one of my young student told me that her parents haven't shared a bed or room for years! Now I believe it's probably a personal thing that depends on the dynamics of your relationship.
eightieslingo eightieslingo 8 years
We sleep in separate beds if he has to go to bed early for work and I don't. That way I can stay up later and then not disturb him when I go to bed. Plus when he's in a deep sleep he moves around a LOT and it makes it almost impossible for me to fall asleep. I do like sleeping next to him and cuddling, but it's not like we cuddle ALL night. I don't think it matters as long as your sex life doesn't suffer because of it, and ours certainly doesn't.
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