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Dear Poll: Would You Ever Consider Being a Surrogate Mom?

Unfortunately, not all women can get pregnant. But then there are some that can get pregnant, they just can't carry their baby full term. Of course adoption is an option, but if you want your own mini me, having a surrogate is another great alternative. The use of surrogate mothers carries a weight of controversy, but calling upon a woman close to you, a best friend or sister is a different story; it might just be one of the biggest favors a woman can ask. Of course, this would never be a rash decision, but I'm incredibly curious, if your sister or closest friend came to you with this request, would you consider being their surrogate mother?


Join The Conversation
dukegirl dukegirl 9 years
Honestly, I don't know and don't know how to know.
duck-duck-goose duck-duck-goose 9 years
looseseal ~ Your declaration that the desire to have biological children is a manifestation of vanity is astoundingly stup!d. (In my opinion, of course.) So, other than an essentially flawed premise that discolors all conclusions drawn from it, what you wrote was just fine, I s'pose. ((shrugs)) But, again, that's only my opinion. To each their own.
michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 9 years
At first I thought no way. But if my sister or my best friend asked me to, then I would. But I couldn't do it for money, or for a stranger, I imagine it would be really difficult to hand over a baby and never get to see it again.
Hootie Hootie 9 years
Being that my sisters have 7 kids between them, my answer is no. I wouldn't do it for anyone else. Honestly, I don't know if I could do it al all.
looseseal looseseal 9 years
I also want to add that in my boob job analogy, at least there's no chance I would be responsible for making a whole new person who have no choice in the matter of whether he/she would be born with genetic problems and/or other assorted surprises that goes with the territory of IVF. So boob job... not as bad as IVF. Just to be clear.
jessie jessie 9 years
the only person i would do it for is my good friend. but unfortunatly i had problems after the birth of my last child and ended up having ablation surgury. so i can't now. if i could find a way for me to still carry a child for her, i would.
looseseal looseseal 9 years
Wanting bio children isn't that bad in itself, maybe a tad bit vain, but hey, no biggie, it is a rare person who doesn't have any vanity. When someone is so enamored with their DNA that they pretty much become obsessed with the idea of creating their DNA replicants, to the point of spending boatloads of money, cheating nature and turning a blind eye to all the inherent risks, that's... really something else. I'm kind of disappointed that my boobs aren't that big, but I'm not gonna get a boob job. Not that getting a boob job would make me EVIL or something, it just seems wasteful and unnecessarily risky to me, to go to such extreme lengths to chase after some ideal that doesn't actually exist. Same principle, really. I have heard that adoptions can be difficult and time-consuming - but guess what else is difficult and time-consuming? Parenthood. And I'm sorry, but I'll never understand people wanting to "experience pregnancy". Makes about as much sense to me as someone declaring they want to "experience getting their leg cut off with a bone saw".
millarci millarci 9 years
I would only do it for someone extremely close to me like my sister.
Swen Swen 9 years
I would only ever do it for my sister. I love her so much and would do anything I could to make her happy. If she ever needed this, I would be happy to help her. Otherwise, not a chance, not even for money. As much as I love my friends, it is way too much of a sacrifice to make.
partysugar partysugar 9 years
My old boss asked me to do this for her and I told her for no amount of money would I be a surrogate.
SaRaH-22 SaRaH-22 9 years
i couldnt do it...i cant even foster a kitten without getting overly attached!
arbywhopper arbywhopper 9 years
I lost the ability to have kids when I was 19. I would do it in a heart beat only because I know of so many people that are willing to do it for me whenever I am ready to have my own kids. It is heart breaking for me because I would love to know what it is like to be pregnant, but it would also kill me to not ever have a child of my own.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I don't think that wanting biological children makes you an unethical person who is supporting overpopulation. By that logic, anyone who gets pregnant without first adopting all the world's orphans is doing something bad. Someone who wants biological children but can't have them isn't less ethical than someone who can. In any case, I feel like I would do this for maybe 1 or 2 of my friends, and my sister. But my sister has already had a child so my guess is it won't be necessary.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
I dunno! That's a toughie! I think I would be okay with it if I had my own kids already and went through the whole pregnency thing.
clareberrys clareberrys 9 years
looseseal I loved your post and the one above it! and no I could never do this because I agree with that too that there are so many children in the world without loving families why not bring one in and give them one!?
Liss1 Liss1 9 years
I would consider doing it for my sisters after i have had children of my own. It would be very hard to give up the baby but at least i would always be in their life.
bbkf bbkf 9 years
I think it's great that other women do this, but I don't ever want to be pregnant!
if im qoinq to qo through pregnancy for 9 months im sorry it has to be for me, it may sound selfish but they dont have to put on weight and then have to lose it when the baby is born and they dont have to experience changes with their body and emotions, i just couldnt do it
SusanTeufel SusanTeufel 9 years
I would, though not just for any person. For a friend or family member.
looseseal looseseal 9 years
Masqueraded_Angel, I'm with you 100% A resounding NO! On the ethics side: The world is overpopulated enough as it is. And there are so many children without loving parents. And here's a doozy for those who believe human life starts at conception - more embryos will be fertilized than actually implanted. Yes, some will be destroyed. So if you think embryos = babies, then well, IVF kills babies. Then there's the very real possibility of a franken-litter being created (not entirely uncommon when artificial fertility treatments are involved). If you end up with quintuplets, either some have to be aborted to give one or two of them a decent shot at being born healthy, or good luck with paying the medical bills of five sickly children and let's also hope the surrogate doesn't die from having to birth so freakin' many at a time. Who gets to decide if it comes down to a "either save the surrogate's life or the baby's, not both" kind of deal? I'm just now starting to wonder about that. And if the reason someone is infertile is because of illnesses, then wow, way to ensure that the genetic illnesses get passed down to some poor kid who never asked for it. Or, even if the illnesses are not genetic... way to up the chance that the kid will be an orphan before reaching adulthood. Sorry, but disappointment and sadness at being infertile does not trump all those things. Besides the questionable ethics, you rip apart both inside and outside of your vagina when you do the whole "pass a watermelon through a garden hose" thing. That gives me pause much more than the stretch marks and the bloating, although those are also unpleasant. This is all too "Handmaid's Tale" to me. If this keeps up, some day the world will be full of people who inherited the infertile gene from their biological parents, and they'd want badly to make their own DNA replicants, too, because their heads would have been filled from birth with how it's something they MUST do. Then those who are still fertile will be pressed into walking womb slavery.
Masqueraded_Angel Masqueraded_Angel 9 years
Absolutely not. Not because of being selfish, or not wanting my body to change...but not wanting to help someone else cheat Mother Nature. See, I believe that everything is the way it is for a reason. Many women cannot get pregnant...and I know, it's extremely painful and disappointing, to say the least. But to sit there and to go through all of these invasive and illogical procedures to try and get pregnant ANYWAY? Seems unethical to me. There are so many babies and children out there with no families whatsoever, having their hearts broken every time they bounce from home to home because they feel as though no one wants them. I was one of them. And then all these women can think about it is, "But I want a child with MY genes and characteristics!" Unforgiveable.
TwistandShout TwistandShout 9 years
I'd do it for anyone. Anyone. Just to see the look on their face when I send them home with that little baby that they'd always dreamed of, the answer to their prayers, the long, hard road of IVF and failed pregnancies, and finally a child has come from it? Oh god, how I'd love to be part of that. It would be every bit worth it.
simplyfab87 simplyfab87 9 years
If it was someone close to me, like my sisters or best friend. I would do it in a heartbeat. My sister has been trying to get pregnant for years and I see the pain it causes her. If she came to me, there is no way I could say no.
Bookish Bookish 9 years
I'd only do it for two people: my sister, or my best friend. And my sister's capable of having her own babies, but my best friend had cancer and can't have kids now. I would do it for her in a heartbeat.
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