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Dear Poll: Would You Let Your Parents Pick Your Partner?

In many cultures, the process of arranged marriages still takes place. In fact, they are not always as archaic as the Western world makes them out to be. While parents and close family members may assist in choosing the eligible men, many families want their children to make the final decision.

Obviously for most of us, the notion of letting our parents pick whom we should or shouldn't date seems like a silly idea, but why should it be? Our parents know us better than anyone else and they are truly looking out for our well-being so ladies, let me ask you, would you let your parents play matchmaker?


Redhot44 Redhot44 9 years
you know what, the more i think about it, i think i SHOULD let them seeing as how i never find anyone decent.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
My mother is a Christian who insists I marry within the race to a man who is a lawyer or doctor and is also a Christian. That's almost everything I don't want.
sass317 sass317 9 years
My husband and I joke that we were arranged. Our parents have known each other since before we were born and had they decided to choose a spouse for us they would have put us together. Our moms did get the ball rolling that led to our first date and they were overjoyed when we got married but if we had not worked out they would have been ok with it. I think its great bc our parents our friends, there is no fighting over holidays and things like that, in fact we all spent Thanksgiving together- and I love my in-laws and my husband loves my parents too.
hex913 hex913 9 years
I come from a white middle-class family, so arranged partnership is not a norm. However, I always said that I would love it if my parents picked out a guy they approved of to date. It would take so much of the stress out of dating. Naturally I would have full veto power, but heck, the searching is the worst part!
stickynote stickynote 9 years
I would need the final final say but I would definetly give them a high say-so. They're very balanced and have great judgement when it comes to people. We share similar senses of humor as well.
I don't think so. My parents are divorced, my dad is a loser, and my mom is extremely jaded. She will take one fight and accuse my fiance of abusing me, or anything like that. If I let her pick my man, she would choose a guy who didn't have a personality, a spine, or could hold a conversation. She would basically buy me a doormat in the the form of a person -- and I am not into that. I know she just doesn't want me hurt, and would literally kill anyone who did hurt me, but I am capable of ending up with a decent guy, and not a heartless mental, emotional and physical abuser, as well as cheater, and deadbeat that my dad is. I have found the man of my dreams, and mom does approve -- so I did well!
smp7328 smp7328 9 years
Hellz no!
fashionhore fashionhore 9 years
Disclaimer: My parents are divorced and each have remarried. I am much closer to my dad and step-mom unfortunatly than my mom and step-dad. That said, I would let my dad and step-mom pick a mate for me simply because they know me much better and would pick someone who I would be best suited for and who is compatible with me as well. My mom and step-dad are those types who think they know their kids and then completely miss the ball with it comes time to buy something or do something for them.
vmruby vmruby 9 years
In a word.....No. I love both of my parents very much and i'm sure they would have picked a really nice guy for me, but i like to do my own choosing.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
No way.
Lele777 Lele777 9 years
Oh no no no. He would have been rich, cocky, had affairs because I hated him, played golf ewwwwwwwwwwww, and probably tucked his popped collared pink Polo shirts into his khaki shorts. Ewww I can see the boating shoes now. I am an artist, free spirit, dancer, musician. I need a man who is edgey and that's what I have!!!!!!!!!
annebreal annebreal 9 years
Hehe, I had a roommate in college from Zambia and when we were talking about boy problems, she was amazed that my parents hadn't arranged my marriage! I think she was all for it mostly because she wanted financial security, not for love, which happens a lot in the West too. And no thanks, too big of a decision to leave up to my parents.
robins robins 9 years
no no no!!!
Meike Meike 9 years
Nope. 1) In many ways, I'm the same as my parents. Likewise, in many ways, I'm different from them. And, 2) I KNOW myself best.
curlikues curlikues 9 years
I was so against the idea and my parents never questioned me about my boyfriends I almost disagreed to give it a shot just because. But finally, I decided what was the harm? He turned out to be the guy of my dreams! I had given my mom a HUGE nit-picky list of things that I was looking for and he met all my requirements perfectly, it was almost uncanny. And now my parents are happy and I am delighted and we are going to get married after I finish grad school! So...I guess it's good to listen to your parents? They usually have your best interest in mind. :)
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 9 years
Nope, no-way, never. I have to live with the guy, not them; and my parents don't even work well together, so why would I go with their choice? I would end up divorcing the man. I mean, I love my parents... however they didn't choose right when it came to themselves, so what would make me allow them to choose for me? Nothing.
BeautyXRush BeautyXRush 9 years
Nope, that would not be cool. I feel bad for people in cultures where arranged marriage is normal. People need to be able to choose for themselves, even if it were the worst mistake in your life. It's your mistake to make. Not your parents.
jedimasterarmi jedimasterarmi 9 years
Most of the guys I've dated my parents liked right off the bat and the ones they didn't like turned out to be no accounts. i think i'd trust my parents.
missceego0711 missceego0711 9 years
No. I want to pick who I end up with, go through al the stages of falling in love with them. Who know, if my parents picked someone for me, we might not even stand each other.
pink-elephant pink-elephant 9 years
I'm not sure...I know my mom would have good intentions and try finding a nice good guy for me to go with-but they all seem to be such nerds or mamas boys or whatever. She also doesn't seem to have a clue as to what I'm attracted to. My dad on the other hand is a little more perceptive and pictures me with guys that are more my "type" but never does he ever tell me who I should date.
duck-duck-goose duck-duck-goose 9 years
(This concept seems be predicated on the assumption that your mother and father are *good parents* -- involved, considerate, mentally stable, and the like. It must also be based on an ideal of positive relations between parent and child -- and, unfortunately, that ideal isn't always representative of reality . Not all parents are good at parenting, and some children are beyond the help of even the very best parenting skills. Some parent-child relationships are toxic.)
duck-duck-goose duck-duck-goose 9 years
DearSugarLover DearSugarLover 9 years
this is a tough one, parentS..meaning they would both have input? i just don't think i could do it. maybe if it was just my mom, but if my dad got to weigh in i can't even imagine what he would be like. this is a big MAYBE lol!
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
No way.
luvhouse07 luvhouse07 9 years
My best (guy) friend in middle school came from a very strict family who'd just moved here from some other country, and by the time he was 13 on he knew who he'd eventually be forced to marry, and he HATED her. I wonder what ever hapened to them...
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