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Dear Poll: Would You Want to Know?

Bachelor parties are known for their wild and crazy antics. It's a time for boys to be boys and for good friends to let loose and revert to their partying ways. But when you add in the code of secrecy that so many bachelor parties abide by, it can leave the women curious and worried about what really happened.

I'm all for guys having alone time with their friends, and while I'd like to think I wouldn't be a controlling girlfriend who needs to know all the details, I just don't know if I could resist asking! Since I'm torn on the subject, tell me, would you want to know the specifics of your fiance's bachelor party, or are some things better left unsaid?

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Isista Isista 9 years
My boyfriend would probably tell me on his own :) But I also know that I can trust him, so it wouldn't bother me either way.
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 9 years
My boyfriend has said he doesn't want to go to a strip club for his bachelor party. I'm sure when the time comes though his friends will talk him into it. I hate strippers...haha. I'm such a naive girl when it comes to T&A on display. I know when my boyfriend goes with his friends and I've even gone once with them and it was just uncomfortable for me. My only rule when he goes is...don't get a lapdance and don't spend money on them. I know a lot of people are of the opinion that strippers are good people who are just trying to earn a buck and I think that's the biggest BS I've ever heard. They get off on getting naked for random men and like getting paid to shake it naked. You don't fall into stripping, it's a choice and the girls that keep doing it have no respect for themselves or their bodies...and decent guys won't touch them. Sorry to go off on a rant there, I'm really in a mood today...wow!
dootsie dootsie 9 years
Seriously. If you can't trust him at one party, why trust him "forever"? And if he doesn't dish the details, you've got to wonder exactly how much trust there is.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
I said that I'd want to know, but not because I don't trust my fiance, actually I think it's the opposite! I'm usually pretty cool with whatever he does, so I don't see a need to hide it. If there were details he left out though, I also don't think I'd care too much. Like many of the posters on here, my fiance actually isn't into the whole stripper/shots/club scene. However, some of his friends are, so if it would be fun for them all to go to a strip club I'd be fine with that. Especially since I am close to some of his friends and I know they respect me enough to not be like, "heeyyy make out with this drunk girl, it's your last chance!!" I'm still not sure how I feel about strippers, if it's empowering that women can work in the sex industry, or if it's just really sad and exploitative. I think I can spare my fiance the feminist diatribe for ONE night though and let him make up his own mind! :)
Meike Meike 9 years
Well, I don't have the stereotypical American guy and I say that because bachelor/bachelorette parties are non-existent in most European and Asian countries. He and I are from Germany and Japan respectively. These type of parties are very uncommon and I've only known of them existing in the U.S., Canada, the U.K., and probably Australia. We even live in Las Vegas, one of the most, if not the most, popular destination for bachelor/bachelorette parties. It just wasn't my husbands and my cup of tea. We're definitely not into the party scene. However, if he went to a friend's bachelor party, he's not the type to keep anything from me. He shares everything with me the same way I do with him.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
a nonny mouse, my boyfriend has the same personality, in terms of being geeky, disliking people and traditional GUY things (shots till you drop, strippers, club-hopping), but he wouldn't divulge information without being asked. I mean, he probably wouldn't even want a bachelor party because he's anti-parties.
emalove emalove 9 years
Thank God my husband was all set with a bachelor party...
julieulie julieulie 9 years
It's not that I don't trust him -- I do. But I wouldn't marry someone who feels the need to keep secrets from me, so I expected him to tell me what happened, and he did. Part of a relationship, in my opinion, is being honest about your actions (even if you don't make the best choices!) and hiding something would NOT be the right way to start off a marriage. So, 'fess up, have a good laugh over the night out, and move on!
arbywhopper arbywhopper 9 years
I have trust until he gives me a reason not to trust him anymore then i would want to know.
a-nonny-mouse a-nonny-mouse 9 years
Mr. Mouse has no interest in bachelor parties, so he never asked for one. But, to be fair, he is an anti-social Geek-whiz who hates people (as a general group) and has contempt for many typical guy behaviors and traditions. I never need to ask about happenings; he openly describes everything.
mguy414 mguy414 9 years
I would want him to tell me funny stories about what his friends did, or even if he did something stupid. But I 100% trust him and know that he wouldn't do anything with another girl. He doesn't have to give me a play-by-play of exactly what happened, besides if I'm out having my own fun at the bachelorette party, why do I care?!
kenziebaby kenziebaby 9 years
this is a little tricky... my man's friends and brother are absolute party animals-- and he is pretty wild himself. i know that his guys would go ALL out, but i think i'd still trust the bf. i would definitely give him the stern, "make good decisions" line i through out whenever they go out. i guess bachelor type parties happen all of the time, so i have already gotten over it-- mainly because of the routine drunk dial, "kenzie, i love you!!" lol
pinkhearted pinkhearted 9 years
I said I would want to know, but I don't agree with the last part, "I have the right to know." I'd just want to know what they did, if he had a good time, any funny stories, etc. I'm sure he would feel the same about my bachelorette party. I trust my bf though. He thinks that strip clubs and things like that are degrading to women. He's never been to one, nor does he want to. But of course his friends would probably be all for it, lol.
littlebmac littlebmac 9 years
Yeah I would want to know. Trust is too important to me to risk putting in jeopardy. I would hope that we would communicate to each other about it and maybe try to keep the party low-key.
The-Somberlain The-Somberlain 9 years
I'd want to know, but I doubt I'd ask.
nopenope nopenope 9 years
I'm not worried about my boyfriend on his own or with about 95% of his buddies, but he's got one friend that would be all about finding hookers or strippers for a party and that would be the one thing I'd be concerned about -- he'd also be the main man who would/will probably show up at our wedding completely wasted. So yeah, heh. I'd rather do a get-together of both parties or just have low-key separate parties. My boyfriend recently went to a bachelor party for one of his buddies and they played cards, videogames and had beer and a BBQ and he thought it was awesome (except for losing $7.25 on cards, haha).
ladychaos ladychaos 9 years
I'm not engaged or anything, but if I'm in a serious relationship with somebody...I would expect that I would trust them enough not to do something stupid. After all, it tends to bite them in the ass in the long run...
meumitsuki meumitsuki 9 years
We had a joint party at a Mexican Restaurant. Luckily my husband remained sober to navigate 20 of us home through subways and trains :) It was an absolute blast.
fcseamstress fcseamstress 9 years
I'd want to know just so I could laugh. He'll probably tell me anyway... My FH is totally not into T&A (unless it's mine ;) and his BM totally is. His BM is one of those 'bachelor-for-life' types, so I have a feeling he's going to try to plan a raunchy drunk-fest while my FH doesn't even like to drink more than two beers in a night. He'll probably be totally humiliated and/or pissed, it'll be funny to tease him about it...! As far as strippers go, I couldn't care less. I know his opinion of those girls and am very secure in my body and relationship, so meh. If he wants a raunchy show he already knows where to go... Hee hee hee!
MiyabiNa MiyabiNa 9 years
I trust my boyfriend, but it's his friend I would worry about. Most of them don't have gfs and are a bit girl crazy. My boyfriend, I know for a fact, isn't intersted in strippers or girls like that. He tried to date one a long time ago and he said he just couldn't bring himself to be intimate with her because images flashed in his head about the things OTHER guys do to her. He was totally grossed out. He went to one of our friend's bachelor parties 2 years ago that had a stripper and he told me all the guys were taking turns licking sugar off of her...and again, he couldn't bring himself to do it because he was totally GROSSED out that other guys had licked her without caring that they may be licking the same spot as someone else LOL And not too long after that, he went to a naked sushi party at a bar with his best friend and couldn't eat the sushi because it was touching her skin.... my bf is kinda a germ-a-phobe like that, it's weird. He doesn't have a germ problem with me, but with other people and people, especially people he doesn't know...he just doesn't like it. Knowing him though, he his buddies DID get him a stripper...he'd tell me all about it...Every gross detail...that's just how he is. My ideal thing would be a joint party...rent out part of a club and just have ALL our friends there since we share friends....the club dancers are welcome to join and dance at the party n'stuff... I just want everyone to party and have fun.
vmruby vmruby 9 years
No i wouldn't want to know but my husband is the type to tell me everything whether i ask him or not....
miss-jaxx miss-jaxx 9 years
Id want to know, but only to a certain extent. Ideally I would want to have a joint party.
citizenkane citizenkane 9 years
I want a combo party.....BUT if he did it seperate, I wouldn't ask. I completely trust him....
magicpenniez magicpenniez 9 years
I either want a combo party, or very low key bachelor/ette parties for each of us. My boyfriend even said that he doesn't want to do anything crazy; that he'd much rather just have a big fishing day or something, and I'd rather just have a massage, mani/pedi day and then have a big bash together at night.
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
I said other because it's not that I think I can't have the right to know but rather I just wouldn't want to hear the details!! As long as he stayed within the "rules" we established then no thanks. Hope you have fun and really don't want to know!
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