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Dear Poll: Would You Want to Be a Sugar Mama?

We've all heard the term sugar daddy, well now it's time to meet the sugar mama. After Janice Spindel, a famed matchmaker based in New York, screened 20 "sugar mamas" and 20 "boy toys", a New York-based entrepreneur brought them all together for a night of speed dating. In order to participate, the sugar mamas had to be 35 years or older and earning an income of $500,000 a year or have $4 million in liquid assets. According to Abelson, 27, who is the brains behind this concept,

I think for men it is an incredible fantasy (to be with an older woman). . . . Older women are more experienced and they know what they want.

Sure, the older woman/younger man scenario works in Hollywood, but do you think it's a sustainable kind of relationship in your world? Some say age is just a number but what I want to know is, would you feel comfortable being someone's sugar mama?


Join The Conversation
books-and-shoes books-and-shoes 9 years
Would I date a guy who was younger than me? Yes, Mr. Books is younger than me. Not significantly, but age not a huge factor. Would I date a guy who made less money than me? Sure, again as of right now, I'm the breadwinner in this family. Would I purposely look for a "boy toy" if I was older and made over $500K? I don't know. Ask me again if that ever happens.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 9 years
Maybe however the guy would have to have a job since I would never want to be paying his way while he sits on a couch all-day and expects me to pay for dates all the time. I'm all for splitting the bill or you pay for the tickets and i'll pay for dinner type of deal. However no guy should ever expect me to pay his way. He would have to have some maturity to since who wants to date a baby? This is all speculation since I might even be married by the time I'm 35+. I would never go to a dating service though, never. I don't like the sound of that. I find it creepy.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
For me a relationship is more about the connection with the other person rather than age, so dating a younger guy is not a problem.(I'm currently seeing a guy who's 3 1/2 years younger than me). As for the money issue, I would want a relationship where neither jut mooches off the other.
Meike Meike 9 years
Sugar Mama? I'm under the assumption that is a woman who provides everything financially for a man and not dependent on age. And, that's the definition I'm going to go by. No thanks, I'd rather have an equal. I would never mooch off a man and, vice versa, I would never allow a man to mooch off of me.
Marci Marci 9 years
Yes, sugar mama is when the woman's income significantly surpasses that of the man's, no matter what the ages involved are. So would I want to be a sugar mama? If I had the money and the guy was right, why not? That's what men have been doing with women forever. On the second count: Would I date a younger guy? Yes. I've had two boyfriends who were 4-5 years younger than me. I'd do it again, although I'm off the market now (with a guy who is 8 years older than me).
Advah Advah 9 years
Oh, I'd always heard the expression used in an age-difference context, apologies if I misunderstood it! :) This being said, I still don't get why the Lane-Brolin couple is in there - Brolin's been in a lot of films, his dad married Barbra Streisand, so he's probably not financially dependant on Lane. I would say the same thing about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Anyway to answer the question, I wouldn't have any problem with that. :)
Gabriela14815884 Gabriela14815884 9 years
I was a sugarmama before when I first met my husband - in terms of having a lot of money yadda yadda In terms of dating a younger guy... why not, if he made me happy. My mom is 10yrs older than my stepdad and they do just fine.
shugahxnxspice shugahxnxspice 9 years
As others have previously mentioned, "sugar mama" usually means providing for your significant other financially. If that's the case, then I would love to be my boyfriend's sugar mama. Haha. He's always trying to spoil me so I hope to return the favor in the future! As for dating younger guys...well, let's just say I've been there and done that. I've learned that age doesn't bother me as much as maturity level.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Sure. I'll be more than happy to take care of someone I love.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
No thanks... ;)
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I agree there is a big distinction here between being a sugar mama and dating a younger guy. If the question is, would I date a younger guy, the answer is "sure, why not?" If the question is, would I date a guy I made more money than, the answer is, "I do, and I always have, and it's never bothered me." Obviously, if I felt the men were after my money, I wouldn't stand for it. But that's a different story.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
For me, voting against being a sugar mama isn't because of what others might say... I just don't like being taken advantage of and I think most young males can be more cold-hearted about it than females. I really just want a relationship with someone who is on my same level, if not equal.
hayleemichele115 hayleemichele115 9 years
Well, it'd be nice to have a young guy, but then again, they might be immature. Plus there would be definant judging and questions about the relationship.
julieulie julieulie 9 years
I agree with sarasonne. I've always used the term "sugar momma" to imply someone with significantly more money, regardless of age. My friends always tease me that I'm a sugar momma, even though I'm a year younger than my fincee -- I'm just the breadwinner (for now -- when he's done with residency he'll be making LOADS more than me). Looking at it from a monetary standpoint alone, frankly, I'd RATHER be a sugar momma. Since he'll make more money in the end, he dictates where we live, and if I can't find a job there -- oh well, in his opinion. I HATE that I am basically forced to follow him like a puppy dog. I didn't do 4 years of undergrad and 6-7 years for a Ph.D. in oncology to be a housewife, but researchers don't make as much as doctors in the long run, so he thinks his job is a priority over mine. Boo.
workin9to5 workin9to5 9 years
Thank you, Advah. That picture was annoying to me, too. Diane Lane isn't much older than him. Dear seems to be confusing age difference with Sugar Mamas anyway. Sarasonne is right, you don't have to be older to be a Sugar Daddy or Mama, it just often happens to be that way. A Sugar Mama or Daddy is someone who provides monetarily for the other person because they have a much bigger bank account. So no, I would not want to be a Sugar Mama because I'd feel like I was being used for my money. But to be with a much younger man one day, that would be okay.
ccsugar ccsugar 9 years
Josh Brolin is so hot.
sarasonne sarasonne 9 years
I thought that a "sugar mama" or "sugar daddy" meant that that person had a significant amount of money or income over his/her mate. Not an age difference. To answer the question, so long as the guy didn't get an inferiority complex, why not?
Eternity Eternity 9 years
No because being one also suggests being the one with all the money. If I want to be in that situation, I will get pregnant and wish for a son. Now, regarding significant age gaps, there is nothing wrong with that as long as both people get along well and love each other.
Advah Advah 9 years
Wow so Diane Lane is a sugar mama because her husband is *3 years* younger than her?!? So 3years (Lane-Brolin) is the same as 16years (Moore-Kutcher)? I'm not sure I get your point here..
kaenai kaenai 9 years
Considering that dating someone younger doesn't make me a 'sugar mama', spending all my cash on him for no reason does, then no, I wouldn't want to be that woman. If we're truly in love, or just really having fun, then sure I'd go out with a younger guy. The last guy I dated was 9 years younger than me, and the guy before that was 3 years younger, so it's not new to me at all. :)
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
i personally cant stand younger men. i cant even stand men my age. my husband is 10 yrs older than me and i still feel like the older, more mature one =S
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
I wouldn't care what anyone said if I dated a younger guy! If it's what I want, then that's what I'LL do :)
annebreal annebreal 9 years
No - but not because of other people's perceptions. I go for older guys. Maybe that'll change when I hit 40 and guys my age are getting pretty nasty, let alone the older ones, but fingers crossed I won't be looking for a man then, I'll have one.
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