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Dear Read: How to Be Single

Recently I picked up Liz Tuccillo’s, co-author of He’s Just Not That Into You, fiction debut How to Be Single. I loved the former, and the title of Tuccillo’s new book intrigued me. It was a complete impulse buy, but I’m glad I went for it because even though I didn’t love the book like I did He’s Just Not That Into You, it did bring up some very interesting points.

The story follows the narrator, Julie, on her travels around the world while she researches single women in every culture. Interwoven with Julie’s quest is her four single friends back home, succeeding and failing with their own journeys. It’s rife with stereotypes, but in many ways, I think the struggles are relatable to many single women.

In fact, the novel opens by confronting the burning question often asked of single people: Why are you single? I have many single friends who dread such a question; it seems to imply that there’s something wrong with them. You’ll have to read the book to find out what Tuccillo’s answer is, but for now, I’ll ask you. What’s your advice for how to be single? And how do you respond when someone has the nerve to ask you why you are?


margokhal margokhal 9 years
"Why are you single?" Unfortunately, because of all the negativity surrounding the question, I started asking myself this constantly - it made me crazy! Why am I single? Why are you NOT single, I say! At least I don't have to deal with another person's drama.
looseseal looseseal 9 years
Why are you single? Because there's this newfangled contraption called a vibrator that'll give you the pleasure of a man without the annoyances, such as a man screwing someone else behind your back and giving you STDs. Ask an invasive question, get a TMI answer.
RustyAngel73 RustyAngel73 9 years
I'm single because I'd rather wait until I found someone I felt a spark/connection with than settle.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 9 years
I agree with everyone's opinion I feel this question is not only rude but its nobody's business why someone is single. There's so much pressure from everyone to fit this cookie cutter image of perfection in every way. I've seen so many friends of mine end up with guys who are totally wrong for them just because they don't wanna be single. And I also have awesome friends who are single and enjoying it and just focusing on themselves and making their dreams come true and are perfectly happy.
amariexxo amariexxo 9 years
I picked up this book at Shoppers Drug Mart like two days after my boyfriend and I broke up. It seemed like an interesting read and really, if the author had input on Sex and The City AND He's Just Not That Into You....the book can't be that bad. Anyways, the book is an amazing read and surprisingly isn't geared towards 20-somethings, but 30-somthings. Eventhough I am 19, I loved it. There are a lot of lessons to be learned about "loving yourself" as she says in the book. Being single isn't about finding your soul mate and going on thousands of dates (like Julie) but more about discovering who you are and what you want to achieve and THAN finding someone to share your goals with. Right now, I am single because it's only been a month since my last relationship and I'm not looking for commitment. I'm young and I intend to use that to my full advantage. I plan on having fun with my girls and finding out and working on my career goals. If I find someone along the way, fabulous. But it's not that big of a deal if I don't find my prince charming right away. p.s. yes, I agree that "why/how are you single?" is just a straight up awkward question...even if it is asked in good faith as a compliment.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
Well, now I'm single because I just had a really bad breakup. The jury's out on what ended our 3-year relationship, but it's a combination of me not dealing with problems promptly enough and his fear of commitment. I do like being single though (or I used to) because you really get to know yourself and most of the time it's a great time for self-improvement. I'm 29 though, so I'm really hoping that the next person I date is wanting to settle down for good.
AmberElizabeth AmberElizabeth 9 years
This book does sound intriging, although I find any book that has to deal w/ helping 20 something year olds deal w/ life GREAT. I'm 22 and starting out on my own, I highly recommend "How to Survive Your 20s" there something else to the title, but it just gives great tips on everything a 20something year old would deal w/! Anyways, why am I single? I got out of a 2.5 year relationship almost 10months ago. before that I was in another 2.5 year relationship. reasoning now, well if anyone would ever ask me "why are you single" I'd simply reply, "Why settle for anything BUT the best!" That's my motto, because really, I'm at the age where I don't need bullshit, so I'm looking for someone who is the best, who completes me the most. I also enjoy being INDEPENDENT waaaay too much. I've done things on my own for awhile now (some of my toughest accomplishments) and really I don't need anyone to rely on :) I LOVE being single!!! However, if Mr. Right comes strolling along I'll definitely test him out :)
Kelliegrl Kelliegrl 9 years
It seems the why are you single question comes up more often in your late 20s - at least from my experience. That question doesn't bother me so b/c my focus has never been on finding a man - mine more on education and professional development and MOI! However, the question that irks me more is when you've been in a relationship for a while, and your friends and family start asking you "when are you two going to get married."
iamangiepooh iamangiepooh 9 years
Ugh. I became single a little while ago after being in a on/off relationship for almost 3 years. I'm SO happy that I can declare that I'm single. I'd rather be single then be stuck in a miserable relationship, so I really don't care how people perceive me. I'm 21, and I've only had one serious boyfriend in my lifetime. I know I still have a lot of time to meet someone wonderful, but for now, I am spending all my time on me, myself and I. I want to accomplish all my goals without someone hindering my dreams (not that being in a relationship always does that, but for me, it did BECAUSE it was a bad relationship). I guess I never had that *me* time so now that I'm finally getting it, I'm thoroughly enjoying every second. :)
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
P.S. to pop: I'm 20 and I'm not worried. Lol lol lol, woooooo, I feel even more accomplished now, haha! :D
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
It is the stupidest question ever. I like being single right now. It beats the worries a relationship comes with. And I don't have to compromise on anything! lol! :) I agree with bluestar, I will get worried about it sometimes and then I do something by myself. I feel a sense of accomplishment that's different than anything you can get when you have help with something and it reminds me how awesome it is just to be myself. I've never really had anyone ask me that before though thankfully. I would probably just stare at them for a minute and then say something like "uhhh because I can be and because I want to be! duh!". I will be single until someone that meets my standards comes along.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
If I'm ever single again I'll have to come up with a good answer to that question. I agree it's a dumb one. Honestly though, please shoot me if I ever pick up a book called How to be Single. I think way too much attention is paid to teaching 20 somethings how to cope with the horror that singledom is perceived to be. If women who were so upset about being single spent half the time they worried about it doing something interesting with their lives they wouldn't give a shit that they didn't have a man.
urban-chic-101 urban-chic-101 9 years
Seriously, the dumbest question ever! I always think of Bridget Jone's Diary in the scene when she is at the couples dinner party and she gets asked that horrendous question. Honestly, I think everyone should be single at some point in their life. It is an important way to understand yourself and know exactly who you're. I am single and I have been for awhile now, we're talking years. Sure I date but I am not the type of girl to just fall for just anyone. But through all of that I have found out who I am and what I want and this very important!
Neekoh Neekoh 9 years
Bluestar, I like your thinking. It's hard to be single at first, but I think it's because a lot of women don't have the right mentality. I'm speaking from experience here. It's very difficult to suddenly become comfortable doing things alone. I think the key to being happily single is to love yourself and to be confident in what you have to offer to friends, family and potential mates. I'm not personally there in every sense, but I have friends who are and I admire them for their accomplishments.
Lavinie Lavinie 9 years
i hate when a person asks me that... really? what are you supposed to say? i tend to smile and shrug my shoulders... i never know what my response is supposed to be... sometimes i just say that i haven't met anyone worth dating... but it is annoying when they ask you...especially when people see that all my friends are married or in committed relationships and i'm not.. uggh
bluestar bluestar 9 years
bluestar bluestar 9 years
Ugh, the stupiedest question on the planet, "Why are you single?" Umm....why aren't you??? I think it's important to do everything you want to do when you are single...even if it's alone. All of my friends are married or in relationships and there is this concert I'm desperate to go to. I can't find anyone to go with me since it's pretty far away, but screw it! I want to go so I'm going solo...who cares, it's easy to find new people to meet for the most part. Whenever I get scared of being single, I force myself to do stuff like that to remind myself that it's not a bad thing...and actually the last time I did this, I had the time of my life...all alone!
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