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Dear Sugar Needs Your Help: Was He Turned Off by My Picture?

Dear Sugar and Patiently Waiting For an Email Emily need your help. She met a guy online, things were going well, and then she sent him a picture of herself. Since then she's heard nothing! What should she do?

Dear Sugar,

I met this guy on eHarmony. We were talking for a week or so and we had a ton in common. He said I sounded interesting and asked for a picture. I sent it last week when he was away visiting family. A week later I still hadn't heard from him so I emailed him asking if he received my picture. He replied by saying, "Yes, thank you, but at this moment I am going to take a break from dating. Things are real busy over here with work, etc." I don't really know how to take what he said. Is he really on a break from dating, which I'm thinking may be true because I don't see him logged into eHarmony anymore, or is he just not interested in me after seeing my picture? Do you think I'll ever hear from him again? Should I ask him or just let it go and move on?


mollybaby mollybaby 9 years
eff him anyways. he sounds like a tool ;) go find someone worth your time, sweets.
vanyvrgs vanyvrgs 9 years
Just move on, the reasons why he disappeared should not hunt you, and it was just a week. Good luck! You will click with others....
Daisie Daisie 9 years
You'll never know the truth. Just move on!
Marseeah Marseeah 9 years
I think this is a classic, "he's just not that in to you!!" moment. Don't waste any more time and move on.
almostloli almostloli 9 years
the right man for you is still out there. just let go and get over of this one
lemuse20 lemuse20 9 years
Forget him! There's someone out there for you, without a doubt :)
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 9 years
There's about a million reasons why he could have stopped: he could have been having similar conversations with a ton of other women and found just one that he decided to pursue. like a bunch of people have said, he might not have liked something simple like your hair color. Actually, he might have even gotten nervous because you were so gorgeous! There's no way of knowing, so its time for you to move on and find a guy who will stick with yoU!
sass317 sass317 9 years
You only talked to him for like a week- hes obviously not into you- the reason doesnt really matter. Either he wasnt attracted to you physically, he actually is swamped with work, or he met someone in RL and wants to see where that goes. Regardless, let it go and move on- this is how online dating goes.
Anenimenie Anenimenie 9 years
Let it go and move on. Plenty of other fish in the sea :-) I had a friend who always send out her very worst picture (you know, the i'm-recovering-from-a-terrible-cold-photo), and if they stuck around, they'd be worth it ^____^ On the long run a click between two people is never based on looks anyway.
Cycy Cycy 9 years
I have tried the online dating thing and this happened to me several times before I met my boyfriend of almost two years. Personally I find some men on these online dating sites with a mentality of looking through a catalogue. They could be pretty average or even butt-ugly but will somehow be looking for the super-model, drop-dead gorgeous, impossibly thin but curvy in all the right places girl. This used to amuse me as I am pretty and sexy, but would find out that that was not enough for some men who were not even in my league. Way below that infact. I just think some men loose touch with reality when they get on there. I mean, if they can't get that drop-dead gorgeous model out there in the real world what makes them think you'll get them online? Unless they lie and send wrong pics and stuff. So just chalk this up to one of those delusional guys and move on. And girl, speaking from experience, it hurts everytime until you reach a place where you see the comical in it, find out what a catch you really are and land a great guy.
FeralTilDeath FeralTilDeath 9 years
Hi.. Sweetie don't worry bout him its his loss.. Pretty girl, I promise you one day he’ll look back And realize there was no one like you, You’ll be the girl he could never replace, And you’ll be with someone who already knew.
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
I think you get the general consensus if you're reading down to me. :) The bottom line is that it DOESN'T MATTER what his reason is, the outcome is still the same. It doesn't even matter what he thinks about the way you look, IF that was the reason, because beauty is entirely subjective. He may like UGLIER women for all you know! It seems to me that you are very self-conscious. If you are going to try online dating, I suggest attaching your picture to your profile so you ONLY get people who find you attractive replying to you. And maybe - I know this is highly unlikely - but maybe you could even hold off on dating completely until you know yourself better and work on your self esteem. It doesn't seem like you are too picky if you have concerns about someone else being picky, and when dating, you should have standards.
hotstuff hotstuff 9 years
Honey, PLEASE move on! The only thing that concerns me here is that your so worried about what this man, that you never even met, thinks!!! You are going to get people closing communication with you a million times when you date online. The reasons don't even matter because it could be a zillion reasons. Your gonna have to get thicker skin and not take this type of thing so personal. Trust me, ask anyone who has dated online and thats just how it is! Who cares why he did it, all you have to think is, NEXT!
kurniakasih kurniakasih 9 years
Um. Sweetie pie, you seem new at this online dating thing. It's always a hit or a miss with this type of thing. Be ready for lots of 'toads' and 'rejection' (if you're the one who writes to them first). Unfortunately, usually when guys don't answer after they see your pictures..are when they're not interested in you physically. Or they may find another person online (most guys probably pursue more than 2 women at a time to see which one is more attractive to him and later on, better fit). Or he's really busy and you're just not that attractive to him so he decides to quit it with online dating until he has time again. Sorry to say that. I've been in your shoes before. If you're serious about dating online, how about going on other website too, I mean, usually you get to put your profile for free and when you do, put up your picture (tasteful and well done and recent one) so that they have an idea on how you look like and so you won't have to deal with someone rejecting you after they see your pics. Good luck to you.
bigestivediscuit bigestivediscuit 9 years
Maybe he thought you were too good looking for him! Ha!
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Agreed. Please do not encourage this woman to beat a dead horse. It's called dignity.
remedios remedios 9 years
What's the benefit of asking? Either he'll say again that he's busy, if that's the truth. Or he'll say again that he's busy, if it's a lie. Or he'll say he didn't find you attractive. I can't see why that would be a good thing to force him to say. You do have something to lose by asking. The third answer is going to hurt you more than you might be now. And it's not going to change anything.
laura6567 laura6567 9 years
I disagree with the people who say completely move on, ignore him. While you should move on, you might as well ask him if you're not his type, if you'll hear from him in the future, etc., because you have nothing to lose. As is, you won't hear from him anyway. You've never met him, so worst case scenario is you STILL won't hear from him. It's not like you're losing a friend or whatever, and you might as well know if he was turned off by something you can change.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
i think you should take salsa lessons! i go salsa dancing all the time (Granada's, JC Fandango's, Sevilla's, Mariposa- all here in Southern Calif.), and let me tell you the men are PLENTIFUL and SINGLE!!!! if you take some classes, you spend more time being physical with a man without the pressure of dating. one you're ready to dance (in the public, he hehe) , you will have fun with the salsa crowd. everyone is passionate, and kind (i like it because it's a good balance for me). i can guarantee you that you will find nice guys to date (or atleast get you off of that damn computer and out of the house).
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
I dont mean to be mean; But, most people who get on dating sites are at a point where they are dead-on seeking love (desperate, but not willing to date any monkey who pops up). You spend money to have an upgraded account, and you barely find anyone interesting on them. so when you DO find a nice guy who you click with, it's like finding a $20 bill in the bottom of your purse that you forgot about. a week of chatting is a long time when dating online(maybe yields to 1 month with regular dating), because you're actually talking about real things. so to have spent time talking to this guy, only to get a hang up, sucks! I think the writer just needs to feel some BFF love right now. He's a jerk, because if he genuinely feels this way, why didn't he send you a quick email stating that? that's kinda messed up. i don't know what you look like, but i'm sure you're not butt-ugly. you're probably very cute, and he just missed out on someone who could've been the greatest love he's ever had. as for this whole liking your pic? SO WHAT if he didn't like you. there is someone for everyone. I'm beautiful, but there are guys who wouldn't give me a 2nd look because i'm petite, or because my lips are too big, or i don;t have a big enough butt, or HELL because i'm black! (i usually date white and Latino men) . . .so you can't get hung up on one guy's opinion. this is a new year; be happy with who you are. and just play eharmony by ear. go out to places more often, hang with you BFFs . . . move on . . .
red4bonez red4bonez 9 years
let it go and move on. He is not worth your time! find someone else and make sure it is not him!
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 9 years
Well, if he's going to act like that I say MOVE ON! He's not worth the time and it sure does say alot about the kind of person he is.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
not worth worrying about it -- drop it and move on!
trixiefire trixiefire 9 years
Dont be disheartened. People have lots of reasons that they end the online chase, and sometimes it has nothing to do with you. And even if it did, one thing is clear, that he isnt interested, so time to find someone who is! Good luck!
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
You don't even know him and you're already giving him too much thought. Stop. He's just a man, you wont have an issue finding another man. One suited just for you.
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