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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Do I Have a Say in My Bridal Shower?

Dear Sugar and Bride-to-Be Betty need your help. Should she tell her fiance's mother to travel to the bridal shower her mother is planning or should she let her future mother-in-law plan her own?

Dear Sugar--

I am getting married next August and have been diligently planning the wedding. I have to say I'm pleased that everything has been going pretty smoothly and nobody has been too opinionated.

The other day I was talking to my mom about the bridal shower she is planning in the Spring. It's going to be in New Jersey where my parents live, and she wanted to know if my fiance's family would come from Connecticut. I called my future mother-in-law to extend a verbal invitation and she told me that she's not too into traveling and was just planning on throwing her own bridal shower for her side of the family.

I was fine with it at first, but when I told my mother, she was a little turned off and hurt and then I realized that I was too. It's only about a 2 1/2 hour drive, so what's the big deal? I thought the point of bridal showers was to get all the women together before the wedding to celebrate?

Do I have a right to say something to my fiance's mother about this? Is it normal to have two different bridal showers, one from each side of the family, or do you traditionally just have one with everyone? I don't want to seem like an ungrateful or bitchy Bridezilla, so I'd appreciate any advice from former brides.


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