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DearSugar Needs Your Help: New Year's Eve Date Dilemma

DearSugar Needs Your Help: New Year's Eve Date Dilemma

DearSugar and Don't Want to Be a Jerk Jenny need your help. She has plans for New Year's Eve with a friend. Is it OK for her to ditch her friend and go out with a guy she has a crush on instead?

Dear Sugar,

My best friend and her husband are throwing a fabulous New Year's Eve party, and I was so psyched to go. I bought this hot little black dress to wear, but I'm having an issue. You see, this guy I'm strictly friends with asked me to go and I said yes. Then the following day, this guy from work I've had a huge crush on invited me to a holiday party at a fancy restaurant.

So I know that I've already made plans, but I really want to break them and see where the night takes me with my crush. We've been flirting for weeks and I really like this guy. Is it wrong to break the plans I had with my friend? What should I do?

—Don't Want to Be a Jerk Jenny


vmruby vmruby 9 years
keep your original plans......
7kimba7 7kimba7 9 years
chicks before d!cks, sista!
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
Tell him to drop by your party!
Don't bail on your friends. You said you were looking forward to attending your friend's party, so go! Don't be the type that backs out when something better comes along, that's not a good friend. Your crush should've asked you sooner.
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 9 years
you know, it's ironic because i was one of the first people to say go with your crush, your friend will understand and then i just got ditched for new years by my friend what goes around, comes around. Clearly I deserve it
karadisexo karadisexo 9 years
i'm going against the grain here, i would definitely explain things to your friend how you really like a certain guy and you're not sure where it's going - and go with your crush. people always make back up plans for new years, so who knows- maybe he has some as well!
chipmunkie chipmunkie 9 years
I agree with everyone who said go to NYE with your friend. Your crush, especially if he likes you a lot, will come knocking again later on. =D
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
First, it's really good to keep plans, especially around the holidays. It will show your friends you value them, and it's the polite thing to do. Even if it weren't important to you not to keep your plans...what if this date with your crush is awkward? What if he just asked you because 2 other girls already turned him down? If he really likes you, he'll respect that you already have plans, and you will look less desperate anyway. You know you will have fun with your friends. One other could ask your friend who is hosting the party, and your date/friend if your crush could come to the party with you. I had been crushing on my fiance for seriously months, and when he finally asked me out, he had a big night planned. I had told my friend's daughter that I would go to her dance recital, and I didn't want to break those plans. He ended up going with me, and we went out afterward! Of course we could have waited until next week to go out...but it was still a really fun memory, and after seriously like 3 months of "chasing" him, it felt nice to be able to call the shots! ;)
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
If your crush is really into you, then he shouldn't mind having your first date another night. If you really want to see him, you could always invite him to the party.
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
If the guy is for you, you'll get another chance when you don't have plans. If this was IT, then he's not that into you anyway. Ask if you can take a raincheck! Then cash that sucker in soon!
mrspiven mrspiven 9 years
you probably shouldn't ditch your friends, but if you feel comfortable, tell them your situation and maybe they won't mind if you skipped out. if you think it would hurt their feelings if you didn't attend their party, you should go. i'm sure the guy you like would be happy to go out with you another time.
TFS TFS 9 years
to be honest think urself lucky youve got guys throwing themselves at you to take you out. wish someone was taking me out for new years.
stumbler02 stumbler02 9 years
Don't ditch your friend. Not only did you make a commitment to your friend and her husband, you also accepted an invitation from your friend who asked you to go with him. It's not courteous and it's not friendly to ditch them. If you and your crush have been flirting for weeks, then skipping the NYE plan and putting off a date for one more week will NOT make that big of a difference. He's not going to magically stop liking you if you turn down his NYE invite, so tell him you already have plans, and then go out with him after New Year's. Your relationship with the crush hasn't become serious yet. On the contrary, your relationship with your friends IS serious. Respect that. Go to your friends' place. Have fun!
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
Don't blow off your friends . . .because your crush might turn out to be a waste of time . . .it's not worth it.
summergirl10 summergirl10 9 years
Reschedule with crush!
omilawd omilawd 9 years
I would keep my plans with my friend and do something with my crush some other day. You probably wouldn't want your friend to ditch you at the last minute and leave you plan-less, and I don't think he'd like if you did the same thing to him.
hatmol3 hatmol3 9 years
id say reschedule with the crush, one of my friends just cancelled on me for new years and trust me - its really annoying!!
MisterPinkNoTip MisterPinkNoTip 9 years
If you can't go out with both, keep your plans and reschedule with your crush.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I would stick to your original plans, and get a rain check from your crush. If he likes you, he'll make an opportunity to see you. If he doesn't, it's not worth dropping your friends to spend time with him. I guess it just seems a little desperate to me that you'd cancel plans for a night out with this guy. Guys don't generally find that attractive.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 9 years
Well, I totally understand when you have a crush, it's so good and of course you want to see where it goes, and you're probably afraid that your refusal may make him think that you're not interested in him. I also get the fact that if I were your friend, I'd hate to think that I get ditched so close by to NY eve (with not enough time to find another date) because my friend finds something better. How about talking to your friend about it, and perhaps finding a good medium as in, how about hitting both parties. Maybe go w/ your crush first then tell your friend to come get you there and go to wherever you and your friend were planning to go. OR. You can go w/ your friend first and go w/ your crush later for the countdown? But really, first thing first, you may want to mention/talk about this to your friend regarding your crush and how you want to make it to BOTH parties :) Yes, you're going to be more tired, but you may have an awesome time too looking awesome in your lbd! Have fun!
emalove emalove 9 years
If it was me, I'd feel terrible blowing off my friend...and I'd probably feel guilty all night and not even enjoy my time with the "crush". I agree with what Meumitsuki said above. It's not right to ditch someone because something "better" has come along. Nobody wants that done to them.
meumitsuki meumitsuki 9 years
This is something we all learn when we are young: you don't break plans because you think you found something better, you wouldn't want it done to you, so don't do it to anyone else. Besides, all the others are right. Saying that you are busy will only make the guy more interested and respect you for keeping the plans that you made.
Marci Marci 9 years
I can completely understand your wanting to accept the date with the crush, but you already have plans and you should keep them. Just tell him you have longterm plans with a group of good friends. I'd also tell him that I'd love to see him and maybe you could do something together soon.
KathleenxCouture KathleenxCouture 9 years
Stick to your original plans! Who knows you may actually meet someone even more interesting than your crush and even if you don't at least you'll be comfortable on NYE with friends and definitely have fun. If you don't meet someone and you don't have fun (not like that will happen) you can always ask your crush out later and maybe spend valentines day together ;)
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
I like that dress. Be a true friend, i find it odd to be asked out on a date on NYE. What makes you think that the crush just doesn't have anyone else?
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