DearSugar and Terribly Concerned Tabitha need your help. She's worried that her brother-in-law is about to make a horrible mistake by marrying his girlfriend, who she thinks is questionable. Her husband doesn't want to get involved, but she feels like she's watching a disaster happen in slow motion. Should she stay mum or speak up before it's too late?
My brother-in-law has been dating a very questionable girl for almost a year now. They met because she rudely crashed a party so that she could hit on his engaged best friend. She is nearly 30 years old and was willing to move across the country to be with my brother-in-law after only hanging out with him three times (a little too old to be acting so irresponsibly if you ask me). Within two months of dating, she brought up having kids with him even though he has only has one part-time job and can barely pay his phone bill.
When she moved in, they instantly began talking about marriage. They are two months away from their one-year anniversary and he just put a down payment on an engagement ring. My husband gets upset with me for being skeptical about their relationship, and he refuses to bring it up with his brother, but I just feel like someone needs to say something before he makes the biggest mistake of his life. I don't feel close enough with him to address my concerns myself, but I worry that he is going to face financial ruin with a too-soon baby and a failed marriage. What should I do? — Terribly Concerned Tabitha