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DearSugar Needs your Help: How Can I Get Past This?

DearSugar and Regretful Regina need your help. Things got a little heated in the bedroom after a few too many and now Regina can't figure out how to get past her weekend sexcapade. Can you offer any advice for her?

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I single-handedly have gotten myself into a pickle. I recently graduated from college and moved back home. An old high school friend of mine had a huge party last week as a welcome home for everyone. We were all really excited to see each other again and it was a blast to run into old faces and old crushes.

I'm not sure if it was because it had been so long since everyone had seen each other or if we were just excited to be done with school, but the drinks were flowing and everyone was really letting loose. Two guys that I used to hook up with were there and after a night chalk filled with intense flirting, the three of us ended up in one of the bedrooms, all hooking up. In the moment, I was totally into it, they made me feel amazingly sexy but I had never had a threesome before. I have always been very open with my sexuality so I went with it. We had a great time, they were both extremely respectful of me and I am glad I experienced it, but now I feel like a total slut!

I have been hiding out at home, too embarrassed to show my face in case I run into these guys again. In the moment it felt great, so why am I being so weird about it now? How can I move past my feelings of guilt?

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amybdk amybdk 10 years
right on, trixie6.
sweetrae80 sweetrae80 10 years
if you enjoyed yourself, felt respected, and used protection, then don't worry about what other people think. i think that a lot of people try the whole threesome thing at some point. it's just a fun and kinky thing to do! so many americans are so hung up on sex and think that leads a lot of ppl to fel guilty about "unusual" sexploits. don't worry, you're not a slut! but if you have feelings for either one of the guys you might want to put another 3some on hold for now....:)
Sherbear Sherbear 10 years
We have all done things we regret when drinking...Nothing you can do about the past. The only things you can do from your mistakes are learn from them and move on. Sounds like a fun "mistake" to me!
ispyemo ispyemo 10 years
sex is sex. it should be enjoyed. you should love it. you enjoyed it. you had an amazing time it sounded like so there should be no guilt now feeling bad for yourself. i am sure there is someone out there who has done worst then that. plus like what gossip queen said i am sure the boys would be embarrassed more then you should be.
gossipqueen gossipqueen 10 years
LOL...i was gonna say that...lickety...If anybody is more embarrased than you is probably the guys...I don't think any straight guy would brag about having a threesome with another dude! LOL :p
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
humm, i would think the guys would be more self conscious than you. when guys dream about 3-somes; it doesn't involve another guy. no sense looking backwards. make a note that you've done this now and that was enough.
Trixie6 Trixie6 10 years
OK. First, stop with the guilt stuff. Everytime you start to feel guilty, you need to replace that emotion with a positive one. You have to flat out refuse to allow yourself to feel guilty because there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. Second, stop worrying about what these two guys think about what happened. If you run into them, smile & say hi & go about your business. There's no need to bring it up unless they do. If they do bring it up, act like it's no big deal -- because it isn't. Sitting & having a pity party over this is a total waste of time. Stop beating yourself up, stop with the self induced guilt trip and get on with your life.
qwerty3020 qwerty3020 10 years
I think learning from your mistakes is the best thing you can expect from this situation. If you regret your threesome, then don't have one again. Maybe you can also reflect on what you DO want from your romantic relationships.
Kara27 Kara27 10 years
The fact that you feel ashamed or guilty is the nasty double-standard rearing its ugly head. If a guy had had a threesome with two girls he would be bragging about it to everyone and everyone would be congratulating and admiring him. He'd be called a stud, while you did the same thing and you said you feel like a slut! Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you should be ashamed-you enjoyed it, there's nothing to be embarassed or guilty about. You are NOT a slut.
sparklestar sparklestar 10 years
Urgh. I agree with the above comment - there is no respect going on here. Show me a guy who DOESN'T want a threesome with a drunk chick? I don't even want to imagine. >.< Get STD tested and then hold your head up high. We all do things we are ashamed of, they just usually involve less penis. =P
My-Opinion My-Opinion 10 years
Well.......I would say something meaningful and practical but then I would be a hypocrite., but I'll try... :rotfl: A lot of people have experienced that at one point in their drunken era~ Go and get an STD/AIDS test done and once that hopefully comes back all negative, just keep it as a memory. Sounds like you now think it was a mistake and the sober you is realizing that you don't really want to be a 'slut' as you put it. Oh and honey, those dudes do NOT respect you, you can get that oucha head rat naaaaaa! :rotfl: and yes I know I spelled all that shizz wrong~ it's a joke, joke joke joke...but they really don't respect you, you were just the easiest one at the time that night, or maybe the drunkest! Hold your head up when you go out, that's the only way you'll regain respect. You're gonna run into those guys again, just think about what you want to say to them about how you were drunk and not yourself and wouldn't have done that had you not been so toasted. I don't know~
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 10 years
Sounds like fun - just enjoy :)
summer-roberts summer-roberts 10 years
You say you are glad you had the experience, but feel guilty. Guilty of what exactly? Guilt means you did something wrong. What I hear you saying is you are a little embarrassed because this may not have happened had the three of you not been intoxicated. We all do things when we have been drinking that we are not proud of later. I am sure the guys feel a bit embarrassed too. I am sure you will get over this, but probably not until you encounter the guys and see how they play it out. I'm not saying you should hunt them down and ask them. Just see where the conversation goes when you do meet.
Marci Marci 10 years
Megg21 says it all beautifully. I agree with everything she expressed.
Megg21 Megg21 10 years
Now obviously this is just my personal opinion and others may disagree. I think you need to try and focus on how you felt at at the time. Yes you were intoxicated and emotions were running high but it's easier after to look back and forget how you felt in the moment and be influenced by outside ideas of sexuality. You said you are really comfortable with you sexuality and you just need to focus on that and that you had a new experience. I know the first time I did a lot of things (even kissing!)I felt so guilty afterwards. Why?! For me it had to do with my upbringing and though it wasn't religious I always was concerned that someone would be disappointed in me. So you just need to push those thoughts of what society says is and is not okay out of your head. Honestly, there were all consenting adults, you had a good time and it sounds like the guys did too, and so what? What you did is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, give yourself some time and don't be so hard on yourself!
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