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Did I Do Something Wrong?

"Do I Have the Right to Be Upset?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I met this dude on an online dating site, because that's what people do nowadays and also I'm shy so it provides a medium for me that's less intimidating. I create a profile and in three hours we find each other and we talk from about midnight until 6am about everything pretty much. It was so rewarding after a long dry spell of nothingness and jerks. He said things like "I'd be an idiot if I didn't ask you to hang out. It would be like sitting in gold"

Anyway, we talk for a couple more weeks before we go out to dinner. HE asked ME on the date by the way. And during dinner he was very lovely, showing off his Spanish speaking skills to the busboy gal. At one point the waiter comes over and was like "wow she's so pretty" in regards to me, and he replies "yeah don't remind me. I'm like a 6 and she's a 9/10"


So he was very kind and sweet like that the whole night, saying I looked nice and asking about my life. The sentiment was returned and we ended up talking until the restaurant closed and afterwards we took a walk and talked more and more. (we went dutch by the way for the dinner)

After this we went to his friend's house, chilled, drank and talked around a bonfire. And we also kissed. And when he drove me home he was very grabby, holding into my hand and letting me rest on his shoulder.

LITERALLY the next day he calls me and says something along the lines of "I had a good time. You're so incredibly gorgeous and cool and I want to see you again." real sweet stuff

We make plans to hang out again the following week and during the interim we texted and chatted online DAILY and Skyped. During these conversations I remember him telling me explicitly that usually when he loses interest in a girl he will stop calling or texting and that he would "never" lead me on. When he hang out again it was magical and he stayed over in my apartment and we talked and kissed until like 3am before he left. During this he's saying stuff indicative of him wanting this to work out in the long run like how he wants me to meet his best gal friend and meet the parents. He's also more sexually experienced than me and he let me know that he'd "never do anything that would make me uncomfortable" and other reassuring things. Also he never really pushed for sex at all. I mean he was genuinely really sweet.

The next day we go see a movie with his friends and that's when things turned sour because I was under the impression that it would be just him and me hanging out, so already my expectations were shattered. Also he got really drunk after the movie when we went back to his friends house and he basically ignored me the entire night because you know he wanted to drink with his bros. and this is okay but my body language showed that I was bored and uninterested and he noticed and gave me a lot of shit for it. Eventually he said he could just walk me home if I was feeling uncomfortable (at this point we are already back on my campus)  and so he did. All the while he was kissing me and saying things like "after tonight I'm all yours. I'll hang out with you on Sunday, I'm all yours" and I JOKINGLY said something about him wanting to get rid of me for the night and I think that may have scared him off because he went into this drunken rant about "you know, I can't be that guy who always does what you want him to" and blah blah blah. It came outta nowhere because I was literally just kidding.

More of this reader's dilemma below.

So guess what, Sunday comes and goes and of course he's a no show. Prior to this I texted him and apologized for seeming uninterested and bored that night and he texts back saying "If anything I'm sorry for embarrassing you and hassling you. It's all good"

So I'm thinking we are all good now. But I'm torturing myself thinking that I messed everything up. To ease myself, I call him on Monday despite my reservations and remind him that he said he wanted me to meet his friend this Thursday (today) and he's like "of course! I'd love to hang out with you again, I'm so glad you called." and then he said he'd get back to me "later" that day about the details.

Have not heard from him since! And because I remember him saying he stops talking to girls when he doesn't like them anymore, I have figured he doesn't like me anymore EVEN THOUGH HE SAID HIMSELF THAT HE WOULD LOVE TO SEE ME AGAIN. I tested out my hunch my sending him a "Hi" message on Facebook which he rightly ignored and I know he ignored it because I just do.

What the hell gives?! I know I shouldn't be so upset because we were JUST dating but the fact that he could be so disingenuous and lead me on after saying he would never lead me on has got me so confused and angry. If he didn't want to hang out anymore, why not just not pick up my call all together? It doesn't make sense.

Am I in the wrong, have I done something wrong? If you guys could see some of the things he's told me and texted me, there wouldn't be a doubt in your mind that he liked me and now this.

My friends said to wait until tonight (when he said he wanted to hang) to write him off but I already have. Deleted his number and deleted from FB

Please give me some advice on this! Pleaseeeee. Hurt my feelings if you must I just want answers.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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