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Did You Ever Talk to Your Mom About Masturbation?

Dr. Laura Berman was back on Oprah yesterday talking about — what else? — sex. Only this time she was teaching the importance of talking to your kids about sex. Having the birds and the bees talk is definitely an uncomfortable and scary thing to do, but Dr. Berman feels that if you haven't already broached the subject with your teen, you could be making a huge mistake.

Through diagrams and open dialog, she helped mothers break the ice about sex and sexual pleasure, but one controversial thing she recommends parents do is talk and teach their kids about masturbation. It seemed like everyone in the audience was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of this and I have to agree — I don't recall my mother ever talking to me about pleasuring myself! Now I might be in the minority here, so tell me ladies, did you talk about masturbation with your parents when you were a kid? And do you plan on talking with your children about it?

Join The Conversation
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 8 years
Well it's about time. I remember when Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was run out of town for suggesting that parents speak to their children about masturbation and now it's a love dovey topic to speak about with our children. It's funny how societies evolve.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
No, disturbing.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 8 years
I figured it out on my own, which I think most kids do, so all my mom ever told me was that it was natural and healthy.
aka-emilicious aka-emilicious 8 years
I remember when my brother got the sex talk from my mom. She took him to Applebee's so he couldn't run away from her. From then on its a family joke if my mom wants to take us out to lunch by ourselves.
free-fallin free-fallin 8 years
masturbation i just discovered on my own and then read about it. i dont think thats a necessary talk with kids, but if they ask then its fine
free-fallin free-fallin 8 years
i never had the sex talk with my parents. my dad would just be waayy too awkward and my mom was always open if i had questions but i still felt uncomfortable. she always joked with me "dont have sex!" but i knew that actually meant, dont have sex until college. but she told me about birth control methods and stuff. everything i learned was from magazines, friends, or the internet. i never needed to find answers from my mom. and ill admit i started having sex at a young age, but i was always careful and knew what i wanted
Allytta Allytta 8 years
le romantique, my parents always talked to me about sex openly. and i was a virgin till i was 20. i think it works like that - to more you talk the less kids want to do it. that talking and knowing all about it actually kept me grounded.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
Everything I learned about sex and masturbation I learned from sex-ed at school.
opentypeA opentypeA 8 years
Noooo!!! never got the masturbation talk at ALL...and what's weird is that my mom and I are so close about EVERYTHING, but masturbation was just something she did NOT bring up. I don't even remember the birds-and-the-bees talk. Apparently I got it when I was 5 because that's when my brother was born, so I started asking questions and my parents just felt like I was mature enough to handle it. Apparently I wasn't too scarred because it's not seared in my memory forever, lol.
gidigirl gidigirl 8 years
Bluepuppybites, i take it that you do not have any children.. or TACT, for that matter.. Even if a child is familiar with the word vagina..(as my son has been since he was 3.) It is completely inappropriate and vulgar to say to an 8 year old CHILD.. "Dont back to your mom, she pushed you out of her vagina" Was this your way of teaching him manners??!! You would definately not be invited back to my home!
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
My mom could barely talk to me about my period without getting red. Thank God for sex ed in school and my junior high friends!
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
My mom sorta told me the birds and the bee's deal and about puberty and what not. But it was my god mom who talked to me about sex and masturbation, and I'm thankful for that. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have had safe sex or got on birth control (because the schools only teach abstinent only, so how are you supposed to know if your parents don't say anything and all you hear is don't do it?) Plus, it made me feel normal for having urges and it was good to know that it was okay for women to touch themselves. I don't know how I feel about buying kids "stimulators" but I'm not even close to wanting children right now, so I'd have to decide that years and years from now. Talking is never a bad idea.
redjupe44 redjupe44 8 years
No, my mom never talked about masturbation. She didn't even tell me what sex was. I got that from the internet, friends, and school. She tells me advice about sex, but never went into details about body parts or anything like that. My mom is extremely conservative. I think I would talk to my kids about sex, I'm not sure about masturbation though, they can find that on their own I think. Maybe I'll get them a book or something!
margokhal margokhal 8 years
I never had an actual sex talk - much less about masturbation - with my mom. Even if she had been alive later on in my teens when that stuff really has to come up - she totally would NEVER had said anything about it. I learned about sex - and masturbation, and everything else - from books. I like to read, so when I started puberty [i.e. got my period] at 11, she bought me books about periods and sex and babies and whatnot. The only thing she actually said about it was, "don't have sex." But then again, I was 11 years old. I can't imagine trying to talk to my dad about ANY of that now [eeep! creepy]. I'm not even allowed to drink alcohol at my house with the family [I'm 22] - anything about sex is totally out of the question!
PiNkY-PiNk PiNkY-PiNk 8 years
btw, I'm 21 and my mom still tries to cover my eyes when we're watching a movie and a passionate scene comes on. lol.
PiNkY-PiNk PiNkY-PiNk 8 years
it was taboo in our house. we weren't supposed to even know about sex until we were married and masturbation was a dirty, disgusting thing. my sis became a mom when she was 17 and it's not that I blame it on my super-strict christian parents, but I wish they would've at least been like, "hey, don't do it, but if you do, wear a condom". I'm a very liberal person now and I plan on having talks about sex, drugs, and alcohol with my future kids. but everything at its appropriate time, and I guess that just depends on personal judgement.
hithatsmybike hithatsmybike 8 years
we just learned about sex in school, and they did a pretty thorough job. My parents were always open about it. I've always said that if I have daughters, I'd get them vibrators in their teens so it was nice to see others share the same view. I hated how Oprah's audience like, freaked out. They strike me a so typically close-minded. It was annoying to watch.
le-romantique le-romantique 8 years
I knew about sex since i was 6. I was well educated and open with my family my whole childhood/teen years... I'm now almost 21 and still a virgin... so to all those moms that fear it will make their kids little whores, sometimes i just depends on the kid... I didn't have that personality, I guess.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
I don't think that I ever talked about this with my mom. I don't know what it will be like if I have kids. I agree with CG that teaching a boy to masturbate seems irrelevant. This is quite possibly too much information, but, does anyone remember those pens that you could turn on and it would vibrate a little and make squiggly writing? I remember them well...
greenapples1987 greenapples1987 8 years
my mom never had the sex talk with me..that may sound strange..i don't know anyones mom who didn't, but i turned out fine.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
My mom always told us that masturbation was not something you should do alone because it inhibits intimacy with your future spouse. Her logic was something like this: If you know how to "push your own button", as she put it, you don't need your husband to have an enjoyable sexual experience, which could lead to a marriage with no sex. And a marriage with no sex (or just solo sex) is NOT a good marriage. She did always tell us that we were in control of our bodies though, and that we should be VERY careful about who we let near it. My sis and I were both extremely responsible and we both waited until we were married to have sex. As far as masturbation goes, I do it now but only when I don't climax with my husband. Oh, and not ALL men masturbate like crazy, either. My husband told me that he actually never did it growing up because his parents would have killed him.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
OH MY GOD NO. We haven't even discussed sex. I had to educate myself. It is quite frankly A MIRACLE I did not end up a teenage parent.
Allytta Allytta 8 years
my mum had the talk with my, without any birds and bees, which i appreciate. she did it as soon as puberty started to kick in. 3 years later i got my period. so she prepared me. now i talk to her about sex openly, sometimes tease her about things she does with dad (i'm very glad they still have sex on regular basis). though i always masturbated somewhere i knew nobody would know i did it. i was somewhat ashamed. and yes, masturbating is very important. my friend didn't do it and she has been having sex for 5 years now and never had an orgasm. i send her links from dearsugar posts on orgasms so she can try stuff... and by the way in search of the big O she slept with a lot of guys. so yeah, i guess telling your kids it's ok is quite important. just explain it's a private thing and nobody needs to know about it.
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
To this day I have never discussed masturbation with my mom. I figured it out on my own and I never thought that anything that felt so good could possibly be wrong.
Pistil Pistil 8 years
I never got an official 'talk' (and nothing about masturbation), but I know my mom was ready with pamphlets if I ever had questions. I guess I kind of learned on my own, too. So far, so good. I also had a cartoon anatomy book when I was a kid. It was an innocent book specifically for children and I got in trouble for bringing it to school in first grade!
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