Skip Nav
40 Hilarious Costumes For the Funniest Couples
The Top 15 Movies With "Cougar" Characters
31 NC-17 Movies That Are Basically Porn With a Plot

Difficulties of Dating a Vampire

10 Reasons Dating a Vampire Would Suck

Vampire attraction is intense! Maybe the women who love them shouldn't, but we've all dated someone we've known was bad for us. And vampires are the ultimate bad boys. With the latest Twilight flick Breaking Dawn Part 1 out Nov. 18, we're reminded how complicated vampires are (and how dangerous it can be having their babies!). They have their own rules, and their own set of problems. Here are 10 reasons we say dating a vampire would suck.

  1. Cold blooded: It's really no fun snuggling with someone whose body temperature is set at 60°F.
  2. So smug: Dating a vampire who fed off humans would be too draining, but the self-righteousness over his ethical eating habits gets even older than him.
  3. Old enough to be your great-great-great grandfather: He may look eternally young, but a 100-year age difference can really give him totally different points of reference. Also? A daddy complex.
  4. Night owl: Edward Cullen may never sleep, but he can't wait for Bella to wake up. He wants to see her so badly at night that he flies into her room to watch her sleep. True Blood's Sookie has to say goodbye every morning at dawn — Bill goes to sleep, and she goes to work.
  5. Always sneaking up on you: It's abrupt. It's startling. And it's just rude.
  6. Offends too easily: Maybe there are many misconceptions about vampires, but must he always launch into long tirades to set everyone straight? Yes.
  7. You always eat alone: Dating a vampire is like going out to dinner with your friend who only orders a drink every night.
  8. Secretive: At first, you could understand him holding back, but he continues to keep things from you under the guise of "protection." Besides, all the secrets he asks you to keep are turning you into a disturbingly good liar.
  9. OCD-ness: With heightened senses, everything seems to annoy him. He smells all, hears all, feels all, and knows all. It's exhausting.
  10. A drama king: He's so tortured, so precious, so dramatic. It may be what first attracted you to him, but it will probably be what drives you away.
Join The Conversation
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 5 years
Love this! Reason 1 is why I was team Jacob when I read the Twilight books. But I have to agree with postmodernsleaze...I'd make an exception for Damon Salvatore!
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
a million suns... somehow, vampires can still get erections. I don't get it either, but they always seem to be portrayed as awesome in the sack. Dating a vampire would suck. But if it was Damon Salvatore, I'd date him anyway :)
diesdre diesdre 5 years
lol Great point A million suns!! How did Edward got Bella pregnant? I smell cheating ;)
a-million-suns a-million-suns 6 years
Also, he can't get an erection since he doesn't have any blood flowing through his veins...dealbreaker.
gd101 gd101 7 years
this list is funny (and interesting). But... I'd still date a vamp, anyway :P
ladylove004 ladylove004 7 years
lmao this is hilarious
Why You Should Wait to Have Sex
DIY Gift For Someone With Anxiety and Depression
Signs a Guy Is Interested in You
How to Turn Yourself On
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds