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A Do or a Don't: Taking a Date to Meet the Folks

A Do or a Don't: Taking a Date to Meet the Folks

Normally when we talk about meeting the parents, it’s thought of as a formal introduction of boyfriend to family. In other words, it’s a big step. But lately, I’ve noticed a somewhat blasé attitude about family intros. In fact, more and more people I know seem to be giving up the formality and presenting their parents with their newest date or even crush!

Certainly many rituals surrounding dating and family no longer exist, and I wonder if the conventional family meet and greet is the next to go. So ladies, tell me, is the unceremonious interaction between family and new boyfriends or even potential boyfriends a do or a don't? And if it's a do, is there ever such thing as “too soon”?


JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
Don't make it so formal. That puts too much pressure on everyone. Just make it casual and do something you all enjoy. This doesn't have to be as terrifying as you think it's going to be.
designerel designerel 9 years
i have been seeing my bf for 3 months. he introduced me to his mom, brother and the brother's wife and kid on our 3rd date. needless to say it was kinda scary for me. he has yet to meet my parents though.
FourLeafJewel83 FourLeafJewel83 9 years
The night I met my boyfriend, he met my parents. He and I knew each other before that but hadn't actually met until that night. But we were out for my 25th birthday with a ton of people, so it wasn't weird. I normally agree though, I don't introduce boys to my family unless it's serious.
bbkf bbkf 9 years
I don't think it's a big deal at all. Why make it formal and awkward when it can just be, "mom this is X, X, this is my mom" and then watch tv?
RustyAngel73 RustyAngel73 9 years
I think that there isn't really a too soon if its a casual meeting, like say you live with them still and its like 'oh mums home, mum this is ____" or whatever but when it comes to a more formal meeting I'd have a line where I'd call it too soon.
MisterPinkNoTip MisterPinkNoTip 9 years
I would never introduce a boyfriend to the family, unless it was a really serious relationship.
kmh5424 kmh5424 9 years
Well, I introduced my boyfriend to pretty much the entire side of my dad's family and my immediate family about four months into us dating (it was my cousin's wedding) but I had asked him to go to it a few months prior. But our relationship is a serious one, we decided very early on to exclusively date. My ex (my son's father) did not get along with my family, but my dbf does and they actually told him that he was invited to my cousin's graduation bbq the following month and he could bring me as his date if he wanted to. LOL.
havok636 havok636 9 years
i've been having an issue with this one: i meet my boyfriend at college, and now we're both home for the summer. i've met his family, but he hasn't met mine. this weekend, my mom and i got into a fight and she kicked me out of the car while it was storming, about 5 miles from home. now, i forgave her for it, but my boyfriend doesn't. he said he wants nothing to do with her, and he never wants to meet her. i have no idea what i'm going to do.
jillerin457 jillerin457 9 years
I put this off as long as possible, and try to downplay it when it does occur. Something about letting my family in on my dating life is a little weird for me.
HelloAnia HelloAnia 9 years
I agree with tomatoshirt, I would not be bring a BF home, unless I see a serious future with him, meaning that we are past the stage where we are going on casual dates. And I usually let the guy make it obvious that it's serious by making it clear that it's important that I meet his parents also. But it doesn't have to be anything serious, just a casual at home dinner.
Sporky Sporky 9 years
Tami715 that is a hilarious story. I would have asked him to take me right home. LOL! I only introduce boyfriends after dating them for a few months, at the very earliest. My family is a bunch of smart alecs and they would give me endless grief if I introduced every guy I went on a date with.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I think it depends on the situation and the relationship. I only introduce my parents to serious boyfriends, but I don't make a huge to do about it when I do.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 9 years
My bf brought home more than one girl home and i never offically brought home anyone. To me bring a bf home is a BIG step. If i don't intend to marry him, i wouldn't even bring him up in front of my parents. I don't like to waste my parents' time LOL...
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
As for me, it's a don't. I'm traditional in this regard, and I think it's a big step. I would only bring home a serious boyfriend, and likewise, I would only agree to meet his parents if I'm a serious girlfriend.
cmd0610 cmd0610 9 years
I think it depends on the families' "characteristics" like how "conservative" they are or how easy-going, friendly, "normal" (i.e. you aren't afraid to bring ur new signi other to meet your crazy family) the families are. A conservative family might requiere or respect a more formal introduction when the "time is right" but a super easy-going family might be totally cool with you bringing a long or short-term signi other around when you please. My family has always lived away from me so they never meet anyone until my fiance but he meet my mum when we were "just friends" so it was a bit different and very casual . . . my parents are pretty conservative so they wouldnt have wanted any random guy coming around but I dont want to be like that with my future children i want them to feel comfortable to bring who they choice around, when they want, and to be relaxed
Tami715 Tami715 9 years
There's definitely such a thing as "too soon". I once had a date pick me up and drive over to his parents house so I could meet them and their hundred cats before we went to dinner. Awkward... It was our first date!
annebreal annebreal 9 years
I think this might have to do with people living with their parents post-college more and kind of have to meet his parents if he lives in their basement and you sleep over. I still think it's awkward but at least meeting them in the beginning in a more casual way takes the pressure off.
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