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A Do or a Don't: Thanksgiving Together Before Marriage

A Do or a Don't: Thanksgiving Together Before Marriage

The holiday season is all about family, and while it's also about welcoming others to the table, I think most people look forward to being home every November. Married couples are often forced to alternate holidays if both families can't be together. But what about when you're in a serious relationship, just not married? Is spending Thanksgiving with your significant other a do or a don't?

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Kat-E Kat-E 8 years
I spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriend this year because I live in San Francisco and my family resides on the East Coast. It was just cheaper to stay home with him, invite a bunch of our friends over and cook dinner together. After all, they have become my San Francisco family in a way. Other than my family, there's almost nobody I'd rather spend it with.
xopiperxo xopiperxo 8 years
it depends. i am spending thanksgiving with my bf this year because my family isn't doing a big dinner or anything big.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 8 years
I live in Kansas City and my boyfriend asked me to go to Oklahoma City with him and his family for Thankgiving. But, as it turns out I am also going to Oklahoma for thanksgiving with my family, so we will only be about an hour apart, so we might try to work something out where we can see eachother. But I have been in serious relationships before and during the holidays we usually go to both families. Do one early in the afternoon and the other later in the evening, but maybe Ive just been lucky that we've had families who are willing to oblige.
sassy_chick sassy_chick 8 years
We've done two together and this will be our first apart. He's an intern and has to work that day, but his sister and brother-in-law are going down there to be with him. We're doing Thanksgiving and Christmas apart this year, then we'll be married the next time the holiday season rolls around. Then it's all about alternating, if he's not at the hospital.
LadyAngel89 LadyAngel89 8 years
We do both on Thanksgiving together, two dinners FTW! Then we do christmas at our house.
oh-cecilia-baby oh-cecilia-baby 8 years
A do! Not because i can't stand to be apart from my boyfriend, but because i'm in a serious relationship with him, that's not quite to the point of marriage. i still wanna spend holidays with him!
glampop20 glampop20 8 years
My boyfriend and I are pretty serious and we still celebrate Thanksgiving apart. He doesn't celebrate Christmas so he comes to me for that and for the Jewish holidays I always celebrate them with him. Its a good balance.
italianblonde italianblonde 8 years
I think it's a definite do. Spending time with someone you love on the holidays is always great!! And they really get to know waaayy too much information about me at Thanksgiving, because my family just recalls embarassing memories and cracks jokes about each other the whole time!! I love it.
nina24 nina24 8 years
I dont see the problem with spending Thanksgiving or Christmas with a loved one, even if you are or arent married. I dont feel like it matters whether or not you're technically family, its the holidays!
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
over 7 thanksgivings, we have only had 1 together, and it was because his nephew was in chemo on thanksgiving so his famly had thanksgiving a different day so they could all be together. Siince we are now engaged, i think it is more important that we spend this last holiday with our own families as starting from May we will be celebrating holidays together and starting our own traditions! hooray! I always miss him on thanksgiving, but soon I won't have to miss him anymore!
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Frankly, I don't see why there would be a problem with doing any holiday with the significant other. The only issues I see is if you're still living with family or extremely close and there's the general consensus that you do holidays with family. Thanksgiving and Christmas are like the only 2 holidays where my entire family such as extended family I have never heard of before get together and eat and have boring conversations, so might as well do the family thing. But frankly, when I move on to have my own life with my wife or otherwise, they should know not to expect me to hang around their get-togethers EVERY year.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
my man and i did thanksgiving together pretty much from the first time that we started dating. i don't think that there's anything wrong with that!
ShePirate2010 ShePirate2010 8 years
y not? now Christmas TO ME is a diff matter, but wuts wrong wit hstuffing ur face with turkey with ur significant other b4 marriage? i mean if u can have sex....y not Thanksgiving???? idk...lol
kia kia 8 years
My husband and I did T-giving together twice before marriage. Both our families lived far away and neither family is really pleasant to be around for the holidays. Honestly I never enjoyed Thanksgiving with my family in the past and my husband has helped me enjoy this day immensely. This year my father is flying in to spend it with us and friends.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
This will be my fiance's third Thanksgiving with me and my family. He isn't that close to his family - they don't even celebrate, and his parents are divorced. I definitely think it's a do, but only if a) you are in a serious relationship, and b) both families are comfortable with it.
AlexE70 AlexE70 8 years
In my last relationship, it was always a big deal if I wasn't able to spend the holidays with her. I'm fortunate enough now to be with someone whose world wont come to an end if we're apart for a day or so. ;-)
melizzle melizzle 8 years
Me and hubby MET on Thanksgiving. So it's a major do. :) He also proposed on a Thanksgiving. And we got married the week of Thanksgiving. Yeah. It's kind of "our" holiday. ;)
356UIK 356UIK 8 years
I voted Dont cos I cant be away from my fam for holidays, but I say its DEF a DO if you or he can afford to be away from fam. :)
Deidre Deidre 8 years
When the fiance was the boyfriend, we spent holidays apart. We lived in the same city, and our parents each lived in separate places from us. Since neither of us got to see our families a lot, we would each travel to see our own for the holidays. Definitely wasn't a big deal to be apart for a few days, and we'd have our own little special T-Day or Christmas celebrations before the actual holiday. Now that we're engaged, we're splitting holidays between the two families. So it's exciting since this will be our first season spending them with each other! We didn't purposely hold off until we got engaged; it's just sort of the way things worked out.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
We are celebrating a second thanksgiving, just him and us, alone. We are both not too keen on family, though we spent last Christmas with his parents. We have moved to a different part of the U.S., and frankly don't feel like booking plane tickets for one holiday. We are spending all the holidays this year alone. I feel a little sad, but I am excited, still. Honestly, marriage is not the status quo anymore. No one gives a crap if you are married anymore, and most people don't feel the need to do or not do things because they do or do not have a ring on their finger. I think looking at marriage as being the "ultimate", and the only time you can do a, b, and c is wayyy too 50's.
brookberrys brookberrys 8 years
We hop around - my dad will host his Thanksgiving early (noon-ish) so we can stop in for that, then stop by my boyfriend's parents' house afterwards, and at 4 my mother's side for the family meets at my grandfather's house to eat. So we get to hop around to each house together, the only problem is trying not to eat too much food at each stop.
brandi07 brandi07 8 years
I think it is good to bring the significant other, but only if it is a really serious relationship!
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
As much as I like the whole idea with the significant other, until we're married, Thanksgiving/Christmas is a "own family" deal. Maybe on that day and Christmas you can see each other for a few ours, but it's not that big a deal. When married I would probably have Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Maybe alternate years with other families. As for Christmas, she would do Christmas Eve and I would do Christmas day with family (due to cultural differences, so that works out). As for the future in laws...I don't trust in-law parents. Maybe bro/sister in laws, but not too much.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
Def a DO! Get to know the family better and get an in with the future in laws... I mean my brother has only been dating his current girlfriend a few months and he is spending thanksgiving with her family and She is coming to spend Christmas with our family. I think the holiday season is a great time to meet people's friends in family b/c it is a time when they will all be together and will be more receptive to strangers in their home.
bastylefilegirl bastylefilegirl 8 years
It of course depends on the length and the seriousness of the relationship. Just like people with children shouldn't expose every person they date to their child the same could be said about exposing ones family to everyone you date.
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