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Do Tell: Do You Get Upset When Your Friends Make Poor Decisions?

No one is perfect — that's something I think we all accept. But when our friends make poor decisions, it's sometimes hard to sit back and watch knowing it will only hurt them in the long run, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. While I feel it's important to follow your gut and do what you feel is best, sometimes our instincts lead us astray. And though I don't advocate butting in, I do think there are exceptions to that rule.

Getting worked up over our friends' blunders isn't necessarily fair, but I think it's fairly common, so ladies, do tell: Do you ever get upset about the decisions your friends make, or do you completely separate yourself from their business until they ask you for your advice?


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melaniestylereflection melaniestylereflection 9 years
Deep inside I get really frustrated and upset when my friends make bad decisions. I try not to say anything because if I ever make a bad decision I just want my friends to back me up. Saying something can cause conflict or sometimes your friend can appreciate you looking out for them. I'm the "mother" type friend, always watching out for everyone but sometimes you have to let them do what they want.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I hate when your friends make bad decisions after they ask for your opinion and they don't take it. I hate when that happens but I've learned to just let them make their own mistakes. It upsets me but I don't have enough time to worry about their problems.
californiagirlx7 californiagirlx7 9 years
I have to say that I do get upset and I'm not afraid to voice my opinion, as long as I do it in a tactful way. Ultimately I realize, though, that its their life and they can make their own decisions. However, I have to be honest in saying that I am happy when I'm proved right about a certain situation. Its just that I do really want the best for my friends and its hard for me to see them make choices I don't agree with.
riotgeek riotgeek 9 years
Yes, I get pissed off when they make the same mistakes over and over again, and look surprised at the outcome. I have one friend in particular who does this and it drives me crazy.
italianblonde italianblonde 9 years
I definitely get upset when I have to watch my friends make bad decisions. I don't try to get in their face with my opinion, but even if I let them know it's a bad idea, I know I have to be there when it goes wrong! It's always easier to notice where other people go wrong...I wish I could see it in myself before I do stupid things!!
Marci Marci 9 years
I'm sure I've frustrated a few friends in my time. I mostly just listen and try to bite my tongue because we all move and figure things out at our own pace. But I have one friend who really tries my patience, and I DO get upset at her chronic bad decisions and unbelievably poor choices in the men she allows in her life. I've lost it a few times with her because it's so hard to listen to her when she never seems to learn from her mistakes. Then I always feel awful afterwards.
emalove emalove 9 years
I don't get upset or worked up, it's their life, not mine...but when it's someone you care about, it is AWFULLY tough to just sit back and watch them make the same bad decisions over and over. But I strongly believe that everyone needs to learn and realize things for themselves, and I just remind myself that they'll eventually see the light too. In the meantime, just be supportive and be a good friend!
whatthew00t whatthew00t 9 years
When I see friends make bad decisions, I can't really say anything, even if I know they will take my opinion. I remember I went out with my brother to the mall to meet up with our family friend and her boyfriend. From the moment I saw him, I did not like him; he was not good enough for her. However, I could not say anything, for I felt that it was my friend's relationship and I have no say in it whatsoever. Well, a couple months later after meeting him, they broke up. Basically, I hate it when I think my friends make bad decisions, but they often have to live by their own decisions and outcomes.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
I do actually, then i watch them suffer for it so it's fine.
Swen Swen 9 years
I get upset and worry for my friends when they make bad decisions. It's just because I care about them and wish they were doing something different. I never tell them how I feel though, unless they specifically ask my advice. Even then, I try not to be really critical because I know I may not know the whole story or rationale behind their decision process. And also, everyone knows the problem with telling your friend that her exboyfriend is a jerk, good thing they broke up, etc, etc. They end up getting back together and everyone knows you're against it.
xoxoxx xoxoxx 9 years
I HATE when people ask for relationship advice, and make themselves out to be the victim when they've done nothing but harm. UGH. I want to tell a story, but I don't want to waste anyone's time. But still. Friends, they suck. That's why I have none.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
i find it really annoying when they make the same freaking mistake over and over again. hello, get a clue.
Lavinie Lavinie 9 years
i've been on both sides of this- as the friend upset with friends' decisions and the friend upset at for decisions made. at the end of the day your gonna do what you want to do - and all i can say is if you're really close friends then you have to be honest with them and caution them before they make a decision - if they decide to continue with it - that's okay - it's their decision and let them know you'll be there no matter what happens. i've had to tell myself not to get mad - because it's their decision to make...
DecemberBaby DecemberBaby 9 years
Yea I get upset when my friends make bad decisions. In my group of friends I'm usually then one they all come to for advice and I give them my opinion but tell them to do what they think is best. But even though I do get upset when they don't make a good decision I don't tell them that I'm upset.
snarkypants snarkypants 9 years
i have a friend who CONSTANTLY makes bad decisions. i've basically stopped hanging out with her. (her bad decisions often resulted in her leaving me to walk home from a bar alone, while she went to hook up with some dude she met five minutes before). i feel bad, but i think i might do what bluebell did...just accept that she's an idiot, and since she'll ignore any attempt to help her make a good decision for once, i'll give up on it. i'm getting too old for such drama. haha
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I only get upset when they ask for my advise, do the opposite, then act like a baby because they made the wrong decision after you told them not to do it.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 9 years
Ditto, zombielove. I'm also jaded. A few of my close friends went off the deep end and I've given up hope. So instead of feeling sorry for them, I've just accepted that they are idiots! ;)
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I get annoyed, but I don't actually say anything.
zombielove zombielove 9 years
i've become jaded to my friends' decision making/actions bla bla bla. I just don't care anymore. Well, I care to an extent, not to the point where I feel sorry for them. I just got too annoyed with them coming to me for advice, and them just doing the opposite and then come back again and complain about the stupid crap they do. at least I can gloat by myself and know I'm usually right. So pretty much, they can come to me and vent...but I no longer give advice or give an opinion because i'm the one they get mad at because they think im going to feel sorry for them...when no, I let them know straight up.
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 9 years
Yes I do. My silly boy crazy friend decided to have unprotected sex with her sleazy love interest. She ended up getting genital warts! I l was in shock i couldn't believe how irresponsible she was. It was also the same night she decided not to go home and my parents are her dad were completely stressed out! We don't talk anymore.
jillerin457 jillerin457 9 years
It definitely bugs me, but I try not to berate them once the deed is done. I don't ever fake enthusiasm, though; I'd rather just change the subject!
Martini-Rossi Martini-Rossi 9 years
Yes, I get upset and I am one that cant hide my feelings to well so they know it. So I tell them what I think, let them know that I dont agree BUT if they need to talk about it (only if its REALLY important) than I'm here to listen.
citizenkane citizenkane 9 years
I may get upset over decisions they make, but usually I keep it to myself...especially when it comes to relationships. All of my friends are adults and although they may value my opinion, they will make the ultimate decisions themselves. Their strong personalities are reasons they are my friends!
zawackirz zawackirz 9 years
I guess relationships are a funny thing and judging other people's relationships is bad karma for one and probably the easiest way to lose a friend if you tell them you don't like their significant other. I normally stay out of other people's business until they come to me.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
I can get upset at decisions my friends make, but I rarely ever say anything about it. If anything I will vent my frustration to my BF or mother about it, but that's about it. I do not like when people tell me they don't agree with a decision I've made in my life and I don't feel an opinion should be given unless asked for. Especially if it has to do with a relationship. I've learned over the years when it comes to other peoples relationships, you are SO much better minding your own business because they don't want to hear what you think. They just want you to make them feel better when/if needed, and NOT tell them they were stupid and you knew it.
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