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Do Tell: Do You Lie to Your Friends When It Comes to Matters of the Heart?

Friends are overprotective by nature and since they can be such tough critics when it comes to matters of the heart, it's sometimes hard to be forthcoming with all the details of your relationship, especially when you're experiencing bumps in the road. While I'm not one to advocate lying, I do believe it's imperative to live life for ourselves, not for our friends, which is why leaving out the bad parts can sometimes be a good idea in the long run. I've done it before, so do tell, have you ever lied to your friends when it comes to matters of the heart in order to protect your relationship?


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odd-man-out odd-man-out 9 years
Not necessarily lie, but neglect to mention things. Communication is key in my relationship, and having my love also be my best friend means that I don't need to share everything with someone else... we can talk through the bad things. Admittedly, I do tell some things to one close friend when I need advice on situations beyond my understanding and where I think my love also needs some help.
ajennilynrushhh ajennilynrushhh 9 years
i agree with nyrina windu.
Nyrina-Windu Nyrina-Windu 9 years
Yes, there are just some things that should be kept private. No one should ever feel that they have to tell their friends or best friends everything about their relationships. And I don't push my friends for information on their relationships either. I think that's foul.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 9 years
Unless I have known you forever, you wont know how I feel. There are only a few left that know me.
Blackwood Blackwood 9 years
Don't ask, don't tell. I never say anything, and mostly they don't have a real interest in knowing anything about it. If I have to, I may say a thing or two when ask. I don't lie, I just omit. I learned that there's not as many people that care or I'm able to trust as I would have liked to think.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
We are all really close. Most of the time there really isn't any way that they wouldn't know if something was wrong. But that's fine. We all have our good days and our bad days in our relationships. Sometimes the best thing is to sit and vent to one of my close friends. But there are so many things that we just keep to ourselves that is no one elses business.
sourcherry sourcherry 9 years
Why tell your friends when things are good, and lie when things are bad? Yes, good friends are not afraid to voice their honest opinions , that's what makes them good friends. And while they might be a little too tough on the guy sometimes, they can see if he's a good guy as well! After all, no one is perfect, and they've been through rough times in their relationships too, so they can understand your position. But I must admit I'm incredibly lucky to have my group of closest girlfriends. It's really rare to find people who you can trust and talk openly to, without them judging or making you feel worst than you already feel.
LadyAngel89 LadyAngel89 9 years
Nope no reason to. My best friend and my SO hate each other... so it really doesn't matter what either of them think about it. I'm her best friend and I'm his girlfriend. End of story. As for other friends, I've not really got anymore that are close enough for it to matter what they thought about a particular situation or for them to really want to know for that matter.
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
I dont want my friends to give my man a bad rap and usually if you're venting to friends it's only about bad things that are happening which will cause them to only see the bad parts of your relationship. Then they'll begin to dislike him and make everything awkward. If I'm having issues in my relationship I'll either not tell anyone (except TeamSugar, thank god for group therapy) or I'll talk about the issue by giving both my side and his so that they realize I still see him and I as equals instead of just going in and beating up on him. Be careful ladies, if friends stop liking your man its very rare that they'll ever change their opinion.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
I agree with Glowing Moon. I am now discreet about my relationship with my boyfriend. I learned this the hard way. About 5 yrs ago I was in a serious relationship with a guy that I went to church with and I told my friends basically everything that was going on between us. My family goes to the same church so there was alot of gossiping and miscontrued info about our relationship. Eventually it tore us apart and we ended up having a really BAD break-up. Ever since then I am very very discreet. :D
almost-famous almost-famous 9 years
Yes... If anyone have had half-ass friends like I had, you know that lying to them was the right thing. I never really had a decent friend growing up whether they were ignorant or jealous/immature. I lie when they are in love with someone and they try to ask me something that really wouldn't help the situation. I know most of you have had a friend that asked you about her boyfriend and you so badly wanted to tell her the truth, but decided against it. Only because you knew she was asking out of anger...Not because she was gonna take that advice. So that reason only is when I lie.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Personally, I don't lie. I'm discreet. I don't practice full disclosure of my marriage to other people. In my opinion, that's unhealthy, and invites all kinds of trouble, as the marriage boundary has been blurred. Bottom line, my marriage is between me and my husband. Other people are not invited, and they don't have the right to know everything. JMHO. There's a difference between lying and being discreet. Lying is falsifying information, and being discreet is keeping some information to myself. In my book, being discreet is okay and moral.
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