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Do Tell: Does Being Beautiful Make Things Easier?


When it comes to society’s standards of beauty, there are many common notions: beauty is in the eye of the beholder or beauty is only skin deep, to name a few. But there are sometimes negative stigmas attached to really pretty women — that they get whatever they want and they don't need to work as hard as average looking women do. I try not to think that way, but you know what, sometimes I find myself believing it too. So ladies, do tell, do you think it’s true that good looking women — by society's standards — have it easier?

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ItsAlita ItsAlita 5 years
Yes it does.
TourdeFranceFan TourdeFranceFan 6 years
I'm doing research for a piece of writing on the subject of beauty and I am so interested to read all these comments. I have always longed to know what it is like to live life as a beautiful woman. I myself am overweight and since puberty I have always felt ugly. I have some nice features, hands, hair, skin but the rest is all out of proportion. So I never get complimented for being "beautiful"... people always seem to just focus on one feature or another. Nobody has ever gone as far as to say the 'B' word to me. I deeply envy my pretty friends/relatives who get called pretty and hot nearly every day of their lives. They have so much confidence. People keep telling me to have more confidence but it's so hard when you go out and people laugh at your fat bum or big nose or whatever. I was once out on the town with my friends, feeling great, and this guy walking behind us with his mates made some hurtful comments about my looks. I had dressed up too and up until he opened his mouth I was feeling okay-looking. I tried to ignore him, (hoping his comment wasn't to me) but then unfortunately my foot slipped on my high heel and I almost fell and I heard this same guy yell, "Whooops!" and start laughing. I wanted to go into the ground, I felt so humiliated. It ruined my whole night. Another time, I accidentally failed to give way at a round-about and a guy in his car roared past me and yelled, "You ugly b*tch!" Again, I wanted to die. Pretty women may get lots of unwanted attention but it is no easier for those of us who lack beauty. We have to be so much nicer to people lest we be called "witch" and other horrid names (and I've heard them all). And when you're really unattractive and have copped flak for it all your life, relationships with the opposite sex are so much harder. You have zero confidence, you feel insecure around your pretty friends and you always worry that if you get a boyfriend or even get married, if your man will stay faithful and not be tempted away by some hot chick. You have to try that much harder to please him and you can't be as selfish as you might like (which I am, unfortunately). So I have never had a boyfriend even though I am now in my 30s. I have had a couple of men who I thought were interested in starting a relationship; they liked my bubbly personality, but always, I backed off and couldn't be myself around them because I felt such low self-esteem and hated thinking of myself in that way. I've blown several good prospects that way. When I notice good-looking guys in public I look away from them as though I've done something shameful by looking at them. I feel so unworthy to be with someone even decent-looking with a nice personality. And I tend to be attracted to good-looking guys. This is another downer of being ugly; you still fancy cute guys! If only I could have a different perception of people along with my looks, but no we ugly girls have good taste too you see! A nice blond smiling my way would make my heart flutter madly for the next hour. It's so unfair. Every time I have met a man I'm attracted to, good personality, good humour, he is always already taken... by the most superb-looking woman. Apologies for the long post; I feel comfortable saying my feelings here where no-one knows me and I can let out all this frustration. All you beautiful women should be grateful for your looks (and I know most of you are). If you have a relationship with someone you love, that's what matters. Just forget all the other crap. People are jealous and they like to make others suffer for it. If I only had a dollar for every time I've avoided going out with certain friends because they're so pretty I feel utterly horrendous by comparison!
LuthienTinuviel LuthienTinuviel 7 years
I have definitely seen women treated well on account of their appearance. For example, one of my friends is nearly 6' with an astounding body (think real-life Barbie), blonde hair and big blue eyes. When I'm out with her, it never takes long to get seated at restaurants. I love going out with her because life feels kinder and more magical, people treat me better because I'm with her, although sometimes I do get a sore neck from constantly looking up at her, as she's so tall.
AVA-MARiE AVA-MARiE 9 years
I don't think I am attractive, but I am told often that I am -- ever since I was a kid...and you may get ahead in some areas, but in other areas, I can't tell you how often I wish people would compliment me on something else, like being smart or achieving something. I get congratulated for being "pretty", something that I don't have any control over. THAT sucks, but the grass is always greener..
acf222 acf222 9 years
Yes, absolutely. I'm about to come off as conceited, but I know that I am an attractive woman. Both men and women often come up to me on the street and tell me. Being attractive has certainly helped me in my career (I am in sales), so I never take it for granted. But I could never get by on my looks alone. I have a college degree from a top school, I work hard, and I'm independent. Good looks help, but they aren't enough to get you by in life.
burnsjl burnsjl 9 years
Being beautiful and shy isn't a great combination. People do assume you are stuck up. And I agree with cvandoom - it can cause problems with jealousy from other women. Even if you're the nicest person in the world, if you get attention from men even when you're not seeking it, other women seem to resent it.
Hootie Hootie 9 years
Absolutely! One of my sisters is spectaular to look at. She will take your breath away. Just stunning! I have seen her work her magic on people so many times! She just has to smile & bat her eye lashes... She gets what ever she wants just because she is gorgeous. From service at stores... To getting let off for speeding over and over... To bending the rules for her... Women envy her and men fall to her feet. The only downfall is the catty women. But she doesn't give 2 rips about jealousy. She's been blessed with her looks & knows it. I adore her. She can't help how beautiful she is. I know I'm pretty too, but she is spectacular! It's funny to see people trip allover themselves just to be near her and see her smile.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
Glowingmoon-yes that is me and thank you. so apparently everyone thinks im conceited, because of how I answered this thread. Im sorry you feel that way. I dont think Im better than anyone else because I was born with blue eyes and good skin. Im selfish, hard headed, and incredibly impatient. I throw my dirty clothes on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper and I dont rinse my toothepaste out of the sink..being pretty doesnt automatically dismiss all my undesirable qualities, I know that. Maybe if I sat here and explained my life story and how I grew into my confidence, then you would understand. But its quite personal, and still somewhat painful. Memories I save for days when I want to feel especially crappy, and today isnt one of those days. So...moving on...
lula29 lula29 9 years
I remember Halle Berry once said that being beautiful didn't spare her any less pain in life or in love, and looking at her track record, that's obvious, so I would say NO! Being considered beautiful is definitely a double edged sword. I don't consider myself beautiful. I consider Monica Belluci beautiful, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Thandie Newton, tons of other women I see just walking down the street, stunningly gorgeous. I think I'm cool, however, people outside of me think so at times, and I find it kind of strange. I once had a professor who would literally shake in my presence and couldn't make eye contact with me, and that's a strange power to have over a person and at the time, I was like, GREAT!!! I'm getting an A in this class! But more than anything I'm smart and I noticed he never took me seriously, which led to so many other issues to long to get into, so I feel I know from experience being considered beautiful has some perks but also a ton of other drawbacks. But really, I consider myself sexy. Damn sexy! Because sexy is a mix of looks and confidence, and all women, because women rock, are sexy regardless to any standard of beauty.
Xemena Xemena 9 years
i dont think that is true, any ways i dont think beuty is what other people see its how you feel about yourself.
BRANDYNICOLE730 BRANDYNICOLE730 9 years
Depends on how you look at it. Yes, they get things easier, sometimes. However, they usually put a lot more effort into their everyday appearance. If a pretty girl gets hired because she has a pretty face, she has to keep up that appearance. Where as, an average looking female is hired because she's good at what she does. And, she doesn't have to put that extra effort to make sure she's completely put together every morning. It's like once you set the standards for how good you can look, you have to keep it up continuously. The average looking female just has to be good at her job.
pokerchick pokerchick 9 years
Unfortunately, I'd have to say I agree with most of the comments before me. I've always considered myself to be attractive, except that until recently I was moderately overweight. Even when overweight, I was confident, smart, well put-together and stylish, but none of that seemed to matter. Almost instantly when I shed the weight, I noticed a difference. People that wouldn't previously notice me would go out of their way to hold doors, or pick up something I had dropped. It is MUCH easier to get discounts for things or freebies, sometimes without even having to ask. People at work seem to respond more positively to me. And it's not just the men that react differently, it's women as well. I'm beginning to think that being "unattractive" (i.e., overweight, bad skin, unique features) is somehow perceived as being less competent or less worthy than an equally deserving counterpart. And to be quite honest, it's almost making me resentful. What makes me any better NOW than I was BEFORE?!? I'm still the same person inside! For those of you who may be thinking that my weight loss has given me a boost of confidence, and that's what's been making the difference... I still see myself in the mirror exactly the same as I did before. I may have a reverse view of what most women see in the mirror. I never FELT fat, so I didn't SEE myself as fat. (I lost weight for medical reasons.) I think it's because society has ingrained in us all for so long that "thin=good" that now we are all starting to think that "thin people=better people", and it makes me sad.
thegiraffe thegiraffe 9 years
Oh wow. allourregrets (Jennifer), I do understand the difference about being confident about your looks and feeling blessed because you look good (because as is clear, this has its benefits in society). I'm happy that has happened for you, as we know, as a woman you are judged very very strongly based on your looks and it takes a lot of courage to accept your face and body the way you are (provided you're healthy). And I'm happy that happened for you. I think GlowingMoon and sunlandseagirl pinpointed the difference of when 'I'm pretty' would be a weird thing to say, and when not. I guess I do understand that in this particular thread, you need to say that to make your point. And since it's the net, it's a free place where you can say this without people attaching the 'conceited' tag to your real life person. On the other hand, we all seem to agree that this would be an arrogant thing to say in a real life soicial situation. The ultimate proof that we all think this?? The news thread on those two gooorgeous girls on the airline a few days ago. Remember? They thought they were being picked on because they were 'pretty'! And we all collectively thought they should get a life and not be dumb enough to say this out loud, esp. on television. For me, I would feel weird saying this even online, but I suppose that's personal. I'm not offended if anyone else says that or anything, I guess I was judging others by my own personal standards.
xopv xopv 9 years
Being beautiful does make things/life easier. It's not fair but oh well. Live and learn.
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