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Do Tell: Has an Addiction Ever Ruined Your Relationship?



Being an addict has the ability to completely consume every aspect of your life, which can make it difficult to have a successful relationship. And since addictions come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, I wouldn't be surprised if an addiction to work, gambling, drinking, drugs, gaming, or shopping, just to name a few, has affected one your relationships. So ladies, tell me, has addiction ever played a role in any of your relationships?

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
Well. Yes. I had one boyfriend who drank too much. One who did drugs and I didn't realize it. Hmmm. I bet if I could rack my brain there were a few more. Mostly those were college days though. Seems like addicts found each other even in some cases. Another big one was a guy I dated who smoked too much. You know, the illegal kind. I made a big case of it, however he graduated with a 4.0 and got his masters. Couldn't stand it though. All that stuff can damage the speech centers of the brain and other parts. No thanks. I wanted someone who liked themselves more and knew when enough was enough.
LaurenE8504 LaurenE8504 8 years
My ex was an alcoholic. We dated for 5 years (4 of them long distance) and I didn't realize how bad it was until the last year of us dating. He had 2 DUIs and 2 trips to rehab. The first DUI was when we were still dating and he told me he was done drinking. I thought he was, I was mistaken, later I realized he lied about his not drinking. We eventually broke up a few months later, not all of it was to blame on the alcohol, but I feel it added a lot of stress to me (even though I was unaware of it at the time). Now that it has been over a year, the more I reflect on our relationship, I realize that alcohol played a huge part ruined us. We fought more when he was drunk, he would get so angry at me for the smallest things (me going out with my friends), and I was just plain scared of him when I was with him when he drank. The last time I saw him was at a wedding we were both in and he drank the whole time (and drove himself home). It's a sad situation in general with anyone, but I'm glad I'm out of it, and I'm preparing myself for a healthy relationship in the future.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I broke up with a guy because he was addicted to gaming. After a few months of him playing World of Warcraft every day for 18 hours a day I broke up with him. I wasn't even nice about it - I had essentially been single the last few months anyway! I may or may not have cheated on him. Geez, he deserved it if I did.
legalbeagle legalbeagle 8 years
My ex was an alcoholic. He used to get drunk and emotionally abusive toward me, calling me names etc. It was scary and painful but it was my first relationship and I had no idea how to deal with it. It went on for years and only when it became borderline physically abusive did I have the guts to get out. I havent seen or heard from him in a few years but I honestly hope that he got help and isnt putting anyone else through what I went through.
MegN MegN 8 years
Not a romantic relationship, but I was friends with a guy, then we were room mates and he was addicted to pot (Don't even try to tell me he wasn't). If he tried to stop he'd get irritable and violent. And it got to the point where I was taking his pay checks as soon as he got them to make sure that he didn't blow his rent money on a new bong, or an uber expensive kind of pot. By the time our lease was up, we were no longer friends to say the least.
Pistil Pistil 8 years
It wasn't what ended the relationship, but it should have been. I don't know why I put up with an ex who would always ditch me for a good party. After we broke up he ended up going to AA with a DUI and I was glad he finally had to face some sort of consequence for his idiocy.
kikidawn kikidawn 8 years
My boyfriend was addicted to WoW for a while. He still has urges to play. He no longer plays it and it is because of me and school. I never completely felt abandoned because of it. He however did put off school and made bad grades his first year of college b/c of it And yes, it is an addiction. Dopamine is the hormone that involves the "pleasure center" of our brain. WoW (and other games) have been specifically designed to release dopamine in your brain while you are playing it. There have been studies done and it has been scientifically proven that the rewards system on WoW releases dopamine. - therefore you get addicted! ... Yes stopping an addiction is a choice to a point, but it is not as easy as oh would I rather have chocolate or vanilla ice cream.
macchiatolove macchiatolove 8 years
Yes. I had never experienced alcohol or drug addiction before, so I had no idea how serious his problem was. He would disappear when we were out and later tell me he'd done a line of coke. I think it was something that was encouraged by his friends and work colleagues, although he seemed completely normal, other than a lack of intimacy in our relationship and bizarre phone calls at odd times. Since he lived at my house, I naively thought that he must be ok, since there was no evidence of his habit, and he very rarely went out with his friends - no more than I would expect for a young guy at uni anyway - and his behaviour seemed reasonable and rational when he came home. His behaviour and attitude toward me becaome increasingly erratic and eventually we broke up. After the split he would call me repeatedly in the early hours of the morning, sending me messages about how he couldn't live without me and how badly the drugs and alcohol were (and had been) affecting him. It was so awful, since obviously, I didn't want to answer, but I was concerned for his safety - not as a girlfriend, but as one human being to another. I'm so lucky to be out of that relationship and with someone who has no addictions of that sort.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
I think my bf is addicted to video games...it's not cool. :(
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 8 years
Yep- my ex was a major pot head and ended up choosing it over me. cya!
SLB SLB 8 years
No but I am actually playing a video game while reading this post on a side note.
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 8 years
Gaming has been an on and off thing for our marriage, when he's stressed he just tunes out to games for like 3 hours straight. It's ok for me to give up my cable tv so we can save money but he cannot and will not give up the internet to save money, cause then he can't play his games of course. Or if he asks for a new game for his Xbox I ask if I can get a new one for my NintendoDS, (I only have one game he bought me this thing for Christmas) he says no we can't afford it, so neither of us gets a game. So my dumb DS just sits around cause I don't even play it, I didn't even want it, I wanted an ipod touch instead, but refuses to get me one because he hates apple and macs!! (I'm not irritated, really I'm not)
Silje Silje 8 years
My ex was always in front of the computer, some scoolwork and the rest just surfing and doing nothing in particular for just about every hour of the day. I could never get him off the couch! So not an addiction as such, but he preferred it over being with me and it took all of his time. That, plus no sex (bc of him) put an end to our engagement. I'm a lot happier as single, obviously =)
ragazza1indy ragazza1indy 8 years
Plus he told me about some pot and cocaine and drinking problems he's had in the past...so so sad.
ragazza1indy ragazza1indy 8 years
Yes, I just broke up with my boy friend on Valentines Day because he ditched me earlier that week to drink with his friends while I waited 4 hours for him. Its his loss but it feels terrible when you give your all but it's not enough.
sass317 sass317 8 years
My ex was a drug addict and an alcoholic. The stress his addictions put on me was so bad I had to go on anti-anxiety medication to deal with it- until I had just had enough and kicked him to the curb. The day I was free of him was one of the best days of my life- knowing I could go to sleep and wouldnt have to wonder where he was, if he was driving drunk, if he had hurt himself or someone else, or if he was in jail I also had to cut out a very close friend who had a drug and alcohol problem. My family took her in bc her parents were both alcoholics and it didnt take long for her to get out of control. We didnt speak for about 5 years until she got clean and came and apologized to my mother for the way she treated her and to me, now we are very close again, I was her maid of honor when she got married.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
Hasn't happened yet, and I hope it never does. :]
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
My ex was a borderline alcoholic. He would constantly get drunk and be all over me, pouring his feelings out, and then the next day he would disappear and I wouldn't see or hear from him for a week. It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore - his drinking pushed me to break things off with him (not to mention the fact that he was a complete douchebag, as well). My husband, in the beginning of our relationship, was addicted to games. Video games, computer games, you name it, he would spend HOURS playing. He never intended to make me feel ignored, and was horrified when he found out that's how I felt. We worked through it, though, and now he's much better. He'll still play his games, but he'll give himself a time limit so it doesn't start to put a strain on our together time.
cfp cfp 8 years
I was with someone who developed a huge problem with alcohol. After his third DWI in one week and then getting into a car crash the same day of one his court hearings (because he and his friends went out to "celebrate" his not having to go to jail)...I went to pick him up from the accident at 4am and told him that he either needed to get help or I was gone. He told me he preferred alcohol. Not the best relationship.
le-romantique le-romantique 8 years
does an addiction to himself and work count? I always date workaholics that only care about work... which is highly unhealthy, especially because i am bad when it comes to that too, only they work for the money and i make money work for me... oh well. My dad is the exact same way... maybe I'm conditioned to it?
McSquish McSquish 8 years
Thanks bekkachan. Well said. I don't say it was an addiction to make myself feel better, cuz it didn't and it doesn't and it still hurts to this day that he couldn't get his ass off the computer chair. It wasn't cuz he didn't want to its cuz of that stupid habitual addiction. I never believed it myself. No one in my family are addicts to anything. Workaholics perhaps, but not addicts. This was a completely different monster. Anyway, for as many people that get this is an addiction, there are still as many that say it isn't.
MeggyPoodles MeggyPoodles 8 years
My ex was semi-addicted to online gambling and completely addicted to being an a**hole. 8)
Rebecca14916991 Rebecca14916991 8 years
Tidal, no addiction starts out with some bizarre compulsion to do the act; the person always chooses the put whatever they're interested in ahead of all other priorities, and it goes from there. There are very few addictions that have the extreme biological indicators the way drugs often do, but it is just as easy to become habitually addicted to an activity, and it can be nearly as difficult to drop that habit as to stop doing drugs or smoking. So yes, video games can be an addiction, and yes, it is because the person chose to do that over anything else. That's the whole POINT. Don't put others down for no reason! As for me, my BF was addicted to video games for a while himself. It nearly destroyed the relationship. I gave him an ultimatum, we took a break for a month, and now he's slowly getting better with counseling and Army enforced discipline. :)
bbkf bbkf 8 years
Nope.
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