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Do Tell: Has Anyone Said Something About Your Looks You Never Got Over?

A former British Elle editor talks in the Daily Mail today about a passing comment her mother made to her at age 10 that colored the way she saw her body for the rest of her life.

When Sally Brampton was 10 years old, her mother showed her a photo of herself in a bathing suit and said, "I think you're getting a bit chubby." From that point on, Brampton would battle with a body that, although "perfect" by the prevailing cultural standards, always seemed too big to her.

Many of us have experienced a comment about our looks that stung. Although we may not have developed eating disorders or issues about the way we look, given that women are told that our looks are of paramount importance to our acceptance, we probably never forgot the comment or how it made us feel.

Has anyone ever said something about your looks you never got over? What do you think about when you remember it?

Image Source: Getty
Join The Conversation
CorkinCokeACola CorkinCokeACola 7 years
I'm a thin person and very flat, in fact this one moron came up to me and told me that if i got a boob job and grew out my hair I'd be pretty. Another time was when i visited my grandma in Mexico for the first time in 6 years and she said I looked to "French like my mother" because I was too skinny. I do admit to not liking my nose ,which is pointy and crooked after my brother broke it. I always feel as though it sticks out in my face to much. My mother and second brother have beautiful noses and I always feel ugly next to them.
candace87 candace87 7 years
Wow. So many responses.. this is shocking to read. I will admit that there are a few that stuck with me. Up until very, very recently (still have a few thoughts about it from time to time, actually may get a nose job in the future) this comment that my sister made about my big nose really stuck with me. My nose is not even that big! but anyway she said my nose was too big and my mom (trying to comfort me, bless her) said "aww you'll grow into it!!" .. yeah. nice. and when I got in a fight with a friend I was told I had a "big, greasy italian nose" which was whatever but still offensive. Then, another was in grade 6. I got my first zit, and I picked at it leaving a big red mark on my cheek. It was on the left side of my face. The boy beside me said "Eww I want to move my desk, I can't sit beside PIMPLEFACE she will give me her pimples!!!" It was literally one zit. I was quite popular throughout my school years and that was the only time I was made fun of so it really stuck with me, and even still I am so, so self conscious of my "disgusting acne skin" which I will admit usually has around 3 or 4 small spots at any given time, that I have thoughts when I am talking to osmeone like "oh gosh what if they're staring at my zit!" or if i am in the mall i am thinking everyone is staring at my pimples. Looking back, considering my gene pool of EXTREME acne sufferers (I'm talking like 3 years of Accutane didn't help my mom or sister) I have it pretty good.
LadyMaverick LadyMaverick 7 years
I've pretty much always struggled with on-again/off-again acne, but I was finally starting to come to terms with my skin and not worry so much about covering it up and what people will think until a few years ago, when my Great Uncle commented on my makeup-free face, saying I'd be "real good-looking" if it weren't for my skin, and that I need to tell my "rich" grandparents that he said to get me some Proactiv (which I've tried, but, like every other remedy I've used, doesn't work for more than a few months). Also, my incredibly insecure and vain ex-roommate laughingly commented once that I have "no butt" (even though I was wearing baggy sweatpants at the time, and have been told from other sources that my butt is quite shapely). The fact that she prides herself on having a large rear end and that she was, therefore, obviously just trying to boost her own ego by putting down my assets doesn't matter, even though it makes sense. I still feel like my body is boyish, curveless and unattractive sometimes. (And for the record, did I reply by saying, "Well, you have no boobs"? No. Even though it would have been easy to. Where do these people get off?)
sugajen sugajen 7 years
My grandmother used to call me chunky. I had low self esteem from high school through early college when my then boyfriend would call me too pale, fat, etc (very judgmental) I ended up with anorexia athletica. Thankfully, I got over. Now I love myself and appreciate the looks I do have rather than concentrating on my flaws. and I'm only 24 woot woot
LadyLiLa83 LadyLiLa83 7 years
It wasn't about my looks, but I was told that I had an irritating voice. I did have a few instances in which my mom said I was getting a bit big, so I needed to lose some weight. I still feel horrible about it!
linsita linsita 7 years
my boyfriend in college once told me that i was a "nine out of ten." he confessed that my nose knocked me down a point. my nose (prominent, admittedly) has always made me self-conscious, the comment certainly didn't help. it was such a small, off-hand statement, but it has always stuck with me.
erocka erocka 7 years
I have suffered from Body Dysmorphic Disorder since I was in my teens. My severe preoccupation with my appearance stemmed from being made fun of for being too skinny and not all too cute when I was younger. Being a dancer never helped that either, spending most of my time in full length mirrors. I have painful anxiety about social events because I am worried about what people will think of my appearance. I always think people are talking about what I look like. :(
Sui25 Sui25 7 years
As I read through some of the comments, I noticed the common trend that reflects how important our mother's opinions and words matter to us. I too have had my share of this complex. As I gained the freshmen 15, my mom sat across from me at the dinner table while I gorged on home made food. Her look of disapproval was somehow oblivious to me. She then said "Are you going to keep eating?" I suddenly shot up my head from the plate and looked up at her in bewilderment. She then continued "you are getting very fat". Am I hearing this right?! Being the drama queen that I am, I ran to the bathroom and cried and cried. When I went back to school, I stopped eating all together. I'd allow myself 2 fat free fig bars a day with a bowl of special K cereal. So then low and behold, when I returned home again during break, the first thing out of my mom's mouth was "YOU TOO SKINNY!"... It is a loosing battle. Since then, I've gotten my act together over the years and consulted a dietitian, took some nutrition courses and am aspired to become a nutritionist myself one day.
gamestomper-6 gamestomper-6 7 years
when i was a little, my mother vsed to get mad and me a " sparrow - legged heifer " and by me having skinny legs, i was ashamed to wear dresses and shorts the rest of my life. :shy:
curlykel13 curlykel13 7 years
miranda17 - ME TOO! Some kid in middle school, Joel (who I had SUCH a crush on at the time, of course) used to shout out HAIR-Y to me whenever I walked into the room. Luckily I've totally gotten over it, I didn't even remember that until I read your comment, miranda17, but it stuck with me until High School
gigilgirl gigilgirl 7 years
I'M FAT. I KNOW THAT. DON'T REMIND ME, DON'T CALL ME NAMES. I'm not the only fat person in the world. HAHA. Yeah it gets depressing. Especially when your mom tells you she'll never praise you even if you'll have future successes. It sticks t you and every subsequent praise she tells you is fake for you.
CarrieK CarrieK 7 years
I was teased in high school about having large boobs. It made me so self conscious that I have only started to be more comfortable with them since having a baby and breastfeeding (when they got REALLY big). I was a 34 D and it only brought me negative attention. Only now in the land of fake boobs do I seem to be the norm now --only mine don't stand up the way the fake ones do....:(
maddyclo maddyclo 7 years
My cousin is very, very self concious about her very large breasts. She's slender otherwise and is very attractive, and very pretty, but when people make jokes about it I can tell she's uncomfortable. A lot of people compare us--I have a small chest and a more feminine face, and she has a very large chest but not as feminine a face. People always compare that about us. She's still pretty so I don't even see why analyze that contrast! Just leave it alone! I'm also very self concious about my nose. I think it is huge. It completely dominates my profile. It's bumpy and freckled and not attractive. I seriously am considering getting a nose job when/if I have the funds. I would like myself a lot more. It doesn't help that all my friends make jokes about it. Even when I ask them to stop, they continue. It's effing annoying, because I ask POLITELY. It gets old. If someone made a joke almost every day every week, every weekend you got together, about how your nose looks big today then you'd get pretty tired of it too.
brielleblonde brielleblonde 7 years
wow #90... prop up flat-chested girls while putting down another group. This is why woman have image problems! I hate my chest because people always make comments that are meant to be compliments, but really hurt my self-esteem. My flat-chested friends can wear cute tops that would make me look like a "slut". It sucks having to think twice about tops to not get stares and comments from people...
redjupe44 redjupe44 7 years
My mom had told me that I have a big nose and ears that stick out (not in a super blunt tone but still) and no matter what anyone tells me I know its true and I am self-concious about it.
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