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Do Tell: Has the Heat of the Moment Ever Gotten the Best of You?

Couples argue from time to time, fighting is only natural, but the more passionate you are, the more heated your arguments can become. Emotions can make you say and do the craziest things to the people you love the most without taking the consequences into consideration. As we all know, hindsight is 20/20, so ladies do tell, have you ever said something to your lover that you'll forever regret, or has someone ever said anything to you that turned out to be detrimental to your relationship?


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rpenner rpenner 9 years
oh i am so bad for this. but it's only when i'm drunk. if me and the bf get in a little spat when we're sober, no problem. but if we're drunk, watch out. we both used to throw out some mean things during drunk fights. after the fight we both spend days apologizing for the things said. luckily it's been a long long time since we've had one of those fights and we've both gotten better and holding our tongue.
Meike Meike 9 years
In my youth, I've told my dad I hated him. For the most part, he was always strictest with me compared to my younger brother and I could not tolerate it. Even recently last year, he has pulled that same double standard bs on me but I know better, now. I would never say I hate him. In fact, I have never hated him. I guess as an adolescent, we sometimes do not take heed for our actions or words. When I was hurt, I wanted to use the words I knew would hurt my parent the most. I'm glad I grew up.
ufshutterbabe ufshutterbabe 9 years
I have never and would never said something I would regret to my man (or anyone, really). Once you put it out there, you can never completely take it back. Even if that person forgives you for saying it, there's always going to be that voice in the back of their head that says "this person was capable of going THERE, just to hurt me." Just knowing how hurt I would be if someone did that to me is enough to keep my mouth shut when things get too heated.
rocksteady830 rocksteady830 9 years
popgoestheworld, I am actually in therapy... what's aggravating is that because of my busy schedule I can't fit in enough appts... she doesn't have enough available. Not only that, but she's still at that "getting to know me" stage, so instead of generally just giving me advice to help me with my anger problem for NOW, she's digging deep trying to find the root of it.... I guess... Just asking me a million questions every time. Although I know I can't get a quick fix, I at least need something to patch it up for the time being... you know what I mean? Like using duct tape until you can get a new one.
karlotta karlotta 9 years
I have a great story about that, and it happened three days ago. My boyfriend and I got into a really heated argument (over something really stupid... but I was premenstrual and VERY hormonal!) and I guess I was nagging so much that it aggravated him to the point that he just turned around and mimicked me : NIANIANIANIANIA It got me into such a rage that I went in to slap him really hard across the face, but as he tried to dodge it, his hand collided with my face - and he broke my nose. Now I know what some of you are going to say, but he REALLY did not try to hit me, it was 100% an accident - I'm the one who should be locked away for spousal abuse, really ! - which doesn't prevent him from apologizing a million times a day and dying of shame and embarrassment. We actually laughed about it for a couple of days - "Can you believe where that stupid fight got us?!?!?!" but now that my nose still hurts like hell, that I have to go in tomorrow to get it reset, and that the medical bills are piling up (without mentioning the new dent in my previously perfect nose...) the comic effect is wearing off...
jedimasterarmi jedimasterarmi 9 years
I get mad a lot about little things that don't really matter, but i've never said anything out in the open to make my boyfriend cringe and turn away from me. i'm so lucky i've got him, no one else has ever been that understanding to me. *^_^*
Tullia Tullia 9 years
Most of my hurtful actions were committed during my early teen years, and now I think I am better at controlling my anger in the heat of the moment. When your about to say something hurtful, close your eyes and breathe out. Don't say anything. That might make you much more concious of what your doing.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
rocksteady, have you tried therapy? Honestly it sounds like you really have some issues that need working through. It's tough to tackle something like that on your own...
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
With my exboyfriends, I was a complete bitch during fights and everything was fair game. I am sure I said horrible things, and horrible things were said back. With my current boyfriend though, it's so different. It's like, I respect him too much to even go there. Or, perhaps I know that he just won't take shit from me so I just don't give it. My exes didn't have much in the backbone department and basically took whatever I gave them. This guy, not so much. It works well for me. I used to feel like absolute crap after fights with my exes, wondering how I could be so mean and say such awful things. It felt like kicking puppies and then having them come back for more. I just don't ever want to be that person again.
rocksteady830 rocksteady830 9 years
Allourregrets, I have the SAME problem. I know that when I'm PMSing it is more than just normal behavioral issues... I'm 99% sure I have PMDD, so I am getting on birth control for that in a month or two... but aside from that I have had issues with sadness, anger, frustration, impatience, and well, just general bitchiness literally since I could speak. I have behaved the way I do my whole life... so now after 20 years, I don't know how to change. I mean, think about having to change the attitude you have had your entire life... it is mind-boggling. I really know that a lot of it is because my parents didn't punish me when I had an attitude as a child. It just got worse and worse over the years with my family, primarily my parents. I treated my parents like dirt, especially through middle school and high school. My mom told me years ago that if I didn't learn to control it now, then it would do horrible things to my romantic relationships... which it has. I should have listened back then. I regret not doing anything about it, because now I treat the love of my life and the man I want to marry just the way I treat my parents, but ten times worse. He loves me more than anything in this world, and forgives me when I go off on him. It just makes me so guilty because I know I don't deserve him. I treat him like dirt, and he is so good to me... but he will still put me in my place at some point. Unlike my parents, he's not just going to sit back and take it. He wants me to change... not just for him, but for myself. I'm so unhappy and there is so much strain and bitterness in my relationship when it could be amazing. We could be so happy, but I screw it all up. The majority of the time, I just get bitchy for LITERALLY no reason at all. We just constantly bicker... and the only reason he talks back is because I end up pushing him to his limit. I just don't know what to do or how to do it. It's gotten to the point where if I don't IMMEDIATELY do something about my attitude problem, then my relationship will end.... soon. Please help! I cannot lose my future husband...
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
thegiraffe-I know you probably wont have an easy answer for this. But how did you do it? I mean, I know..just dont say mean things, right? But I have been trying to control and sometimes, I just cant. Ill sit there and think in my head "i know I shouldnt say this, I know its only going to make things worse..dont say it" and then I end up saying it anyway, because I just have to have the last word. So I would honestly love to know how were able to stop!
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
im always cautious with my words, even when im fuming. the only person i've ever been really cruel to during a fight is my sister and i'd do it again if i had to. she needs to be put in her place somtimes. but my husband loses it when he gets angry. it was pretty bad our first few fights, but hes gotten better (fingers crossed knocking on wood ;) )
thegiraffe thegiraffe 9 years
I used to be the kind of person that would say anything I thought of in the heat of the moment, but I consciously tried to change after I realized it only damages relationships, and even if you don't mean things, they do lasting harm and will have repercussions in the future when you least want or expect them. Now I am much better in controlling my tongue than the average person. It goes to show that sometimes, you can come out even better if you try to change consciously, than someone who naturally never said mean things.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I'm really good about thinking before I speak. Whenever something just comes out it's usually not so mean. I'm pretty good about that. I can say whatever I want without it sounding mean and I always get my point across.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
we both know how to "push buttons" when it comes to heated arguments. all's fair in love and war.
Marci Marci 9 years
Unfortunately, I have said things I wished I could take back the minute they came out of my mouth. This is something I'm working hard on to not repeat and for me it comes out when we stray from the point and get into kitchen-sink arguing, which is when everything gets tossed into the pot. That's never productive and so I'm trying to correct that habit and not stray from what the argument is about.
bikinib7 bikinib7 9 years
My problem is that I say really mean things and when I am mad, I'm not really listening to what he has to say. I know what I want to hear and if I don't hear it, whatever he has to say isn't enough. I always read that you should stop and process what they're saying, but in the heat of the moment, I can't. I say what I need to say and if he tries to make "excuses" for what he did, I just block him out and interrupt him. ughh. I need to work on it. I have said some really nasty things and I know it's not fair, because if he said some of the things I've said, I'd be crushed. He puts up with my mood swings and part of the reason I have not gone on a hormonal BC is because I can't imagine them getting worse :-X
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
I don't play fair in fights. I always say mean things. But thankfully he knows that I don't really mean it, its just the way I am. We don't take anything we say to heart or seriously when we argue. Plus we can be ready to scratch each others eyes out one minute, but as soon as we walk away we stop being mad. Two minutes later we go right back to normal and talk it out nicely.
Leanne1078 Leanne1078 9 years
Yes, but I try to keep it in check, especially in my current relationship. There haven't been too many really dramatic fights but when we have too much to drink we are more likely to get into heated arguments. Usually we don't even remember how they started and we laugh the next day. Otherwise, most of our arguments are pretty calm and we talk everything through.
almost-famous almost-famous 9 years
Whenever I get into an argument with someone, it's usually about something they said or done. I try to get to the bottom of an argument and realize the person involved may want a certain type of reaction. Usually I get really heated with someone I'm related to or dating. I live in a laid-back area, if someone lost a friend because of a bad argument, then it's like good=bye!
ffemt1201 ffemt1201 9 years
what's oh so bad is ttexting while frustrated/upset/angry. i've a way with words that my boyfriend just doesn't get and he, in turn, gets upset and snippy. we have both acknowledged the text-fighting and have somewhat resolved the issue. arguing certainly doesn't help and considering ours is long distance for the moment, it seems to have a more profound (negative) effect when we do bicker.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
whoa..thats harsh LikeThoseShoes....I would never say something THAT brutal to my BF. I say things like "god, why are you are so dumb?" Or "why do I have to explain everything to you like you are a child?!" The other night we got in an arguement and I said "Im sorry, Im not retarded like you, I can pay attention to more than one thing at a time" :oops: (he really cant pay attention to more than one thing at a time though, and it gets really irritating sometimes...but I know I was out of line for saying that, and I apologized) Glad you had the sense to walk away from that though!
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
Yes I do it alot unfortunately. I have a tendency to be really mean, hateful and sarcastic when I'm mad or if i don't get my way. It's especially bad when I start acting like a spoiled brat. :OOPS: I'm so grateful that my BF puts up with me but I know it's something I MUST change about myself.
shelleybaby32 shelleybaby32 9 years
i hate to admit it but yes this has happened in my relationship. More so from my husband who has a tendency to get mean when he knows he is losing the battle. He knows what to say to upset me. He always apologizes and knows he did wrong. I guess its from growing up with all boys.
LikeThoseShoes LikeThoseShoes 9 years
my ex-boyfriend told me once "you dont deserve to be loved by anyone". and get this... it was all because i wasnt home when he was home from work.... needless to say... that was the end of that relationship.
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