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Do Tell: Have You Ever Had a Jealous Friend?

Last Friday, Tyra Banks hosted a show on jealousy and friendships. On air, one woman confronted her friend for copying her hairstyle and her wardrobe and also accused the friend of resenting her success. The accused friend admitted that being a cash-strapped single mom made her envious of her friend.

It was a sad confrontation, and it reminded me that competitive comparison often infiltrates close relationships.

Have you ever had a friend who was jealous of your love life, career, dress size, or anything else? Of course, feel free to share any moments where you felt envious of a friend, too.

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
Not any more because I'm older now, but it happened to me many times in life. It involved other artists who competed for ideas and better grades in college. Everyone would hide rather than share their coveted ideas and projects until the end, jealous of us who got the better grades. Jealous of me because I weighed 110 lbs with long blond hair, and my rich boyfriend at the time. I steered clear of it as much as possible. Then later on life. Men chasing me in front of others. I was condemned and accused of nothing. I lost a couple friendships. The the worst was an experience at work ten years ago. Another designer imitating my clothes, my hair, joining my gym. Asking where I shopped. Then chasing my boyfriend. It was like that movie Single White Female. I'm surprised she didn't try to kill him with her high heel.
redchick152 redchick152 8 years
i've had the same 2 best friends since grade school (we are now 24). the last year of high school and maybe 2 years into college, i got really jealous of how close the 2 of them became and i started to alienate myself from them both and made myself believe they were leaving me out on purpose. it was AWFUL. but we've (or i've) worked thru all that crap and realized that its ok to have different relationships with them. we don't have to be inseparable all the time. but i know that if i need either of them all i have to do is pick up the phone and vice versa.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 8 years
Mich, I thought that same thing. Although, there are a few people here who were able to explain it in a tasteful way. (Pistil is one who jumped out.) On the other hand, there are also a few people here for whom the exact opposite is true. It sounds like some of you had friendships destroyed by your arrogance, not by your friends' jealousy.
telane telane 8 years
Yes, I have had friends that have been jealous of me.... one proceeded to spread rumors about me all over town and pretty much ruined my reputation. Pissed me off to no end that she would betray me like that - and we are no longer friends - but I have always marched to the beat of my own drum anyway without a care to what others think, so she didn't get the pleasure of hurting me like she had intended. @ GlowingMoon - You asked about family members - My mother is jealous I believe in my case.... She feels the need to compete with me and I can't stand being around her for that reason. It is so irritating, and yes, much more difficult to handle.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
i had a friend that was so jealous of me being a sahm that it ruined our friendship. but really it was they way they spent money that made it necessary for her to work. they had a ski house in tahoe, flew there 2 or 3 times a month, got new ski equipment every season, took an expensive vacation every year (one year they sailed around the greek islands). so when she would say things like "well YOU don't have to work". it was hard to not say "neither do you. you like expensive things". she competitted in everything. got old. so did the friendship.
Pistil Pistil 8 years
Haha, Michelann... that's exactly what I was thinking... Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! And skinny, and smart, and rich. It's a curse, really :)
Michelann Michelann 8 years
Why do people usually sound so full of themselves when they talk about other people being jealous of them?
Marci Marci 8 years
Maybe. I can't say for sure. But possible one or two friends have felt a tad envious because I'm a free spirit that lives life by own rules.
bonchicbongenre bonchicbongenre 8 years
Ugh, college was the worst for me. I was attractive and popular, and some of my "friends" hated me for it. I had three girls in particular, who would always try to bring me down. They were full of backhanded compliments, like "good thing you're so pretty, because you're never going to have successful career". Anytime anything good happened to me, I was afraid to tell them because I knew it would make them feel insecure and then the nasty comments would come. I am so glad those days are over!
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
way too many jealous "friends". but i learned and grew from those experiences. like others, i never thought that she was jealous or her actions came from envy, i was so unaware that people let jealousy get that far!!! glowingmoon, i have a very jealous sister, ugh!!!!
rainbow-cadillac rainbow-cadillac 8 years
There have been some incidents where people have been jealous, but they weren't a big deal. Mostly they were about grades, weight, stuff like that. But none of them were blown out of proportion. However, I do have a twin sister. With my sister, there always going to competitions and people will always compare us. But we have never let the "comparisons" ruin our relationship. I mean, sometimes I am jealous of her. However, we grew up knowing that we both have strengths and that we actually complement each other.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Yes, I did. The operative word is "did." They're no longer in my life. As many posters have experienced, my so-called friends were too jealous, and it ruined our friendships. Has anyone experienced a jealous family member? How about a jealous parent? That makes for dysfunction in a family. Unfortunately, unlike friends, family members are more difficult to remove from one's life. It's more complicated.
Jinx Jinx 8 years
Only one situation I recall, and it was way back in high school. A good friend of mine ended up in the same English class, and she would compete for grades. Everytime something was returned she always told me what she got and wanted to know my mark. I usually came out above her in that class, and she used to get "jealous". The weird thing was, I didn't care, I wouldn't even have brought up our marks if she didn't.
soapbox soapbox 8 years
Somehow, I always end up with jealous friends. I just keep my distance, even if I may end up totally friendless for a month or so. I rather be alone than have jealous friends.
Pistil Pistil 8 years
I think the only jealousy between my friends and myself has been the normal "I wish I had your boobs/hair/waist/etc, you're so lucky!". If anyone has been seriously jealous of me, I never knew about it. And I, with my self-esteem issues, often find myself jealous of other people, but have never let it affect a relationship.
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
I had a good friend for a while who was always trying to "one-up" me. Whether it was guys, or school, or clothes, she would always try to find a way to out-do me. I never wanted to compete with her, but she would never just be happy if something good happened to me; she had to turn it into HER special thing. Lots of the time she didn't even actually succeed and would lie or greatly exaggerate her situation. I just never understood why she wanted to impress me or compete so much.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
All through school k-senior in college, I was envied. That is what comes with "popularity". All the people who did not like those who got attention hated me -- even if they never spoke to me. It was sick, and ugly, and disgusting. I felt bad about myself because of other people liking me -- which in turn made other people not like me. I had self esteem issues in a way. I never felt outwardly jealous of a friend, but I would be like "Damn, I wish my boobs were like hers" or "I really wish my hair was a bit thinner and looked like hers". I think most girls do that. However, I have never been jealous of a friend's material purchase or whatever -- or even of their relationships and stuff. I had my own, and it never dawned on me to care. Now, there are things I work on changing about myself or improving upon, or even learning to do. I am happy with who I am on the whole, and don't feel as insecure as I did then.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
I've always done really well in school and when it comes to academic-type things. I never bragged about it [in fact I used to put myself down a lot and act like I was stupid to be cool], but now I can say it without feeling ashamed - I'm smart. I had "friends" throughout school and college who would always put me down about EVERYTHING else - my weight, especially, the fact that I never dated, spreading rumors about me being untrustworthy and a liar, etc. - because they were jealous. I've lost at least 3 friends over it, but the fallout would always be in conjunction with something else ["you're too smart, but you're SO fat!", "it's great that you got an A, but at least I have a boyfriend!", "you're too smart to be trusted. you'll trick me in the end."] I've been jealous of other people too. Mainly their thinness and the fact that most people had more friends/social outlets that I did [still do, actually]. I didn't think it was ever fair that I got to be smart but lonely. The only time I ever acted out about it was in elementary school...another girl came along and basically stole my supposed best friend at the time. The new girl tried to apologize, saying "you're just not that awesome". I got upset and hit her in the leg with a huge tree branch [it left a bunch of bloody scars, it was pretty huge] and she ran around telling everyone how terrible a person I was. Coupled with all the rumors already, that was DEFINITELY not a good year for me.
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