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Do Tell: His and Her Values



I've been thinking a lot lately about shared values and romantic partners, that stuff at the very center of who you each are. And I'm still thinking about it, especially after reading an interview with Meryl Streep in this month's Psychologies magazine. The interviewer made the observation that Ms. Streep seemed to "draw a lot of strength from" her marriage. And here is the reply:

My husband understands the compulsion to create things, so it works. I think you have to have a partner who shares what you value in life. I’ve always loved raising a family and Don gets that it’s a big, important job. It’s a really, really hard job, and it never ends.

What do you think? Are your values ultimately the key to your health as a couple? And what are those values for you and your partner?

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grl-in-the-world grl-in-the-world 10 years
Communicating our values to each other early on has been wonderful for my relationship with my boyfriend. As soon as we got together we talked about how much we both valued loyalty and faithfulness to each other. So I've always been very secure that he would never stray from the relationship. From there we've had many open conversations about what we want in our future: to own a house, have children, look after our parents in their old age. It's very comfortable and fulfilling to be with someone when you're both working towards the same ends.
DearSugar DearSugar 10 years
That sounds both very dreamy and very grounded, Marci. Such a special kind of happiness to really partner and grow together. I just think it helps so much to learn from other people what works in their relationships and why. Thank you, really, for posting.
Marci Marci 10 years
I think having the same values has a lot of bearing on a relationship, and definitely in my own. My boyfriend and I have the same ideals about what we want our life together to be like. We have goals that we are working towards together. We are both creatives and understand each other's drives and passions. And we share a committment to each other, the relationship and those goals we've set out. We're a real team.
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