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Do Tell: How Did Your Friendships Change Over Time?

When you've known someone a long time, it's inevitable that you'll experience bumps along the road, but with some friends, those growing pains are more frequent. With age comes maturity and a greater sense of awareness, and sometimes the things that didn't affect us before become serious issues in our present relationships. Friendships can either grow stronger or farther apart over time, so if you've ever struggled with an old friendship, do tell, what changed over the years and what obstacles did you both have to overcome to make your friendship work?


ilanac13 ilanac13 9 years
well i have to admit that i haven't made a lot of my friendships work. i found that a lot of what made me friends with people in the past are things that i don't value any more and that i don't relate to anymore. i've changed a lot from the person that i was all those years ago and i don't feel like my friends have so as a result of that i've kind of cut off contact with a majority of the people that i used to associate with. it's probably not the best thing since it leaves me back at square one but it's for the better with me since i don't want to be reminded all the time about the bad habits and behaviors that i used to have.
piesecki piesecki 9 years
I went to school with one of my best friends from the age of 4 to 18 and we now go to the same university, but the older we got the more I realised what different people we really are. I still love her to bits and do the best I can to meet up regularly, but we're so different (She's a christian who's engaged to be married and ready to settle down, I'm a commitment-phobic atheist who's just ready to get out and see the world!) that we don't really hang out much any more. It's sad, but I hope she knows we will always be friends even if it will never be the spend-every-day-together-never-run-out-of-things-to-say friendship we had as children.
alexask alexask 9 years
everyone is going in such different directions and at different paces, so i feel like some are regressing me and some i can't keep up with. for example, one of my best friends older than i am, who never wanted to grow up, just graduated and has a regular job. on the other hand, my other best friend had a baby but somehow it has made us even closer, now i have this new aspect of her, her child, to get to know!
kayedizzle kayedizzle 9 years
I had a core group of friends in high school, and now that some of us have graduated from college, we find ourselves back in our hometown trying to figure out where to go next. But even with the distance not being an issue now, the dynamic of our friendship has changed a lot. Whenever we do get to hang out, there's definitely an undercurrent of everything we experienced during the last four years that shows how different we all really are from each other. That's not to say that we're not going to keep in touch in the future, but I think we may be starting to outgrow each other.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
my close friends are all north of the border so its hard for me. we talk often and when i do go back we're always together and as close as ever! i've had a few friends where really we just grew apart. we no longer had anything in common and we just had very opposing lifestyles. we keep in touch on birthdays and holidays, but thats about it.
Mesayme Mesayme 9 years
My high school friends are the best ever... we rarely see each other but we get along like no time lapsed. Most likely because we knew each other in true form without all the additives.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 9 years
The biggest obstacle for me is distance. Two of my best friends live in different states. One I've known for 30 years the other 20 yrs. Sometimes it's hard to keep in touch esp. when you get busy with everyday life. I'm lucky because we have managed to stay close even though we may not talk regularly (sometimes months will go by!).
roxtarchic roxtarchic 9 years
the saying "you find out who your friends are when you get married" is sooo completely true... it's even MORE accurate when you become pregnant, i have one friend who i (thought i) was incredibly close with but i now think that since she's still single, she resents that i'm not. you gain a new perspective into your friendships when life altering events occur i think.... i wish her the best, but no longer miss the friendship
missdiorluxe missdiorluxe 9 years
I was best friends with one girl for years, but we now have nothing in common and we just don't have alot of fun together. Now each of us has our own group of friends. We still hang out, but things are not the same.:(
cmd0610 cmd0610 9 years
I have a friend from college that I've known 7 yrs but once we graduated (~3yrs ago) I realized we didn't have anything really in common, and it's almost impossible for us to hang out just the two of us because it's awkward and we don't know what to talk about bc we have too different of personalities and opinions and interests. We became friends bc we went to a small school and we had fun being together then bc there was more to talk about that we had in common (e.g. classes, our peers, parties, etc) and we had the same group of friends and even lived together one year. Now to stay friends we always make plans for girls-outings with at least 1 or 2 other girls that we know well, it gives us a better dynamic being with more people and then we can have better conversations. It works, but we know we won't have the same relationship we did in college.
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