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Do Tell: How Do You Overcome Jealousy?

Jealousy can bring out the worst in people. Whether you get steamed because your boyfriend has a late-night meeting with a pretty co-worker, or your good friend chose someone else to be her maid of honor, those hurt feelings can, in turn, make us do and say things to jeopardize our relationships. I find that being calm and honest with the person is the best approach, because if I followed through with my initial response, I'd probably end up regretting it. As human beings, we can't help but feel jealous from time to time, so how do you deal with these overwhelming feelings?


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sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I am a VERY jealous person. I have a very understanding boyfriend though. Thankfully.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
I deal with jealously romantic wise by looking at the fact he is with me and if he wanted other people he could have been with them and that's how he looks at it with me as well. We also try not to bring up the past and compare. Non romantic way I look at all my strong qualities and think a person might have some jealousy towards me as well I work with what I got.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
otaku I'm with you.
Jeny Jeny 8 years
To be honest, my boyfriend has some pretty hot friends lol.. But I haven't once gotten jealous because he is open and honest about everything. I've never trusted someone so much in my life. I'm thankful for that...
livline livline 8 years
Just talking about dating-type issues here.... And ooohhhh, my jealousy can be just silly green/purple, or whatever color it seems my face goes. I loathe feeling that anxiety and it makes me think myself as weak and childish. But I never say anything to the guy. And usually it's just me overreacting and/or my own personal demon insecurities. At least now I'm mature enough to be happy for friends who are in great relationships rather than when I was younger and immature about it and would be jealous if MY relationship wasn't the best. So.Dumb.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
when i get jealous, it often seems to be because someone else is doing something i'm not like when i get testy at my bf, it's not because he is hanging out with girls, for instance, it's that i was at home while he was partying ... it's weird
melizzle melizzle 8 years
Never been a jealous person.. either of other people or in relationships. If I trust someone completely, I can't justify jealousy.
babesio3 babesio3 8 years
I'm not jealous of the things people have, it's more along the lines of girls talking to my fiance or something along those lines. I know he's with and comes home to me, but still it gets under my skin. :shrug: I wish I could change how I feel.
MorganJocelyn MorganJocelyn 8 years
I agree with Otaku and Laura__j : / As much as I try to tell myself how ridiculous it is and how NOT worth it it is, it's still hard! But jealousy has also ruined a relationship in my experience, so I tend to be very aware of how irrational my feelings might be once I step back and actually look at the situation. I think my jealousy is stemmed from insecurities as well.. which doesn't make it suck any less.. And I notice that if I'm feeling jealous, I tend to think to myself that whoever I'm jealous of is probably really unhappy with parts of their lives, so there's no reason to be jealous. If that's terrible, I apologize, but I'm just telling the truth. (sigh) Oy vay.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
Whenever I begin to feel jealous in a relationship I just say to myself, "He is with me and is going home with me," so that usually makes me feel better. If I start to feel envious of others' lives, I take a step back and make a quick mental list of things I am grateful for in my life or that I am proud of. I also think to myself that those I am envious of might not be nearly as happy as I am with their life.
macchiatolove macchiatolove 8 years
Zabrow, I could have written your post myself! crazy! I find the best way is to be as completely blank-faced as possible, and to try to think about something else. Once I'm removed from the direct presence of the person who is making me jealous, I usually calm down a lot, but having a whinge to a friend that also agrees is another good way of dealing with it I find, haha!
Myst Myst 8 years
aww that's sucks and yay for you for going to the strip clubs together! Sounds like a good time.
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I don't think so. I am normally very open with that kind of stuff. We have gone to a strip club together in the past. He was just telling me about his fun night. I just didn't like hearing about it because I wasn't there.
kandrew4 kandrew4 8 years
Hiding55, I wonder if he was trying to make you jealous?
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I'm not usually the jealous type but right now I am and I have no idea how to deal with it. My bf went to a bachelor party last night and proceeded to tell me all about the strippers in detail this morning. I found myself getting really annoyed and testy with him and then it dawned on me that I am jealous! If anyone knows how to make it stop I'm all ears.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
I have a hard time controlling my jealousy because I'm naturally jealous... But I find that most of my initial reactions to things are jealousy, so if I wait awhile (like an hour or two and do something else), I usually realize that I was being irrational.
laura_j laura_j 8 years
I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing someone else was 'borrowing' my man in the interim. On an unrelated note to the thread, I would keep my eyes peeled if I were you. There has to be some great guys around your area..
shoesuga shoesuga 8 years
My boyfriend and I broke up when I moved across the country to go to school. We're planning on getting back together when I graduate in a few months, but he's dating someone else for now. I personally hate the arrangement, but I love him and its the only way I can hold onto him. It feels awful but I just try not to think about it.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
Otaku and laura_j, I too am a naturally jealous person. It stems from long-standing insecurities, but I'm slowly getting over those. It still isn't easy to just keep my mouth shut (so I don't start a stupid argument lol), but ultimately I'm learning that jealousy just isn't worth it.
Myst Myst 8 years
I'm not a jealous person by nature, however when I do feel jealous of something or someone, one of the things I've learned to do and to really think of why I feel that way and in when it comes to relationships, I've learned that it's better to talk to your SO about it then let it sit and simmer and have it blow up out of proportions.
zabrow zabrow 8 years
as far as jealousy in a relationship, i've found out that being jealous never really benefits you... most of the time, if you're jealous about something in a relationship, it's because you're worried that the person is going to cheat on you. being jealous about it doesn't do anything to stop them from cheating, though, so why waste your time worrying? if anything, expressing your jealousy to the other person just pushes them away from you little by little. other than being jealous in a relationship, i don't think i've been jealous of things/attributes that other people have... if anything, i admire them for what they do/have/are. i guess i'm not a jealous person by nature?
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
I admire the person I'm coveting about. Obviously, he or she has something or done something I really like, and that's why I long for those things, too. I appreciate, I don't hate. Truthfully, I feel sorry for those who have trouble with jealousy. Jealousy is a very unpleasant emotion.
laura_j laura_j 8 years
otaku, i feel you on that. somewhere down the line when i was dropped on my head it activated my green eyed monster. i have a hard time controlling it, but i try my best to bite my tongue. its definitely not easy for me -- i wish it was.
otaku otaku 8 years
i'm a jealous person by nature... i don't know how to deal with it to be honest.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
All I would advise is not to take out your feelings of envy and resentment (which are not anyone else's fault) on the person you envy. I've been on the receiving end of that kind of behavior, and it's not pleasant or fair.
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