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Do Tell: How Do You React When Someone Doesn't Say Thank You?

Do Tell: How Do You React When Someone Doesn't Say Thank You?

As someone who likes to share with friends and family, I'm amazed by people's manners, or lack thereof. I feel that saying thank you, even when something seems expected, should be second nature, but the older I get, the more I realize that not everyone feels the same way. But is there anything you can do or say when your generosity isn't appreciated or acknowledged? I bite my tongue whenever someone "forgets" to say thank you, but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't. I might be overly sensitive on this topic, but ladies, do tell: How do you react when someone forgets their pleases and thank yous?

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krystalmak krystalmak 9 years
I think it IS second nature. We were walking 3rd St. Promenade (Santa Monica) and we gave our pizza to a homeless man, and my brother ended up saying "Thank you" and as we walked away he had a confused look on his face and said, "why did I thank him?" I don't like when people don't say please and thank you. As previously mentioned in comments above, IT'S COMMON COURTESY! When they don't, I just throw `em a look and say "aalriiight.." and I'm expecting something more. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don't. I'll live without it, but it would be nice to know that whatever I did was at least a little appreciated. I don't drive yet, but when I'm in the car and people don't give the wave of thanks, I hate it, it's like "we should've just gone, kuz these people are too mean to allow to go first" sigh.
ashleycheer ashleycheer 9 years
Omg. It annoys the hell out of me. I always say Thank You and Please; When they don't do the same back I get mad.
plasticine1 plasticine1 9 years
i like to think that atleast between my close friends, there's no use for too many 'pleases' and 'thankyous', it gets silly sometimes esp when asking for cigarettes and lighters and a sip from each other's drink if someone else however is rude to me, i simply dont do any favors for them anymore. its not appreciated, why do it?
KrazeeCourtney08 KrazeeCourtney08 9 years
I say "ur welcome" if they dont say it.. then they be like "O...thank you!"...and we both laugh hehehe! :)
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 9 years
It's frustrating that it's actually considered bad manners to correct someone's bad behavior (unless of course it's your kids). Not that everyone should walk around acting holier-than-thou, but sometimes you do want to call people out for being rude.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
I roll my eyes and make a snide remark like, "I guess you didn't enjoy my gift very much." I mean, my friends have usually been sweet about that, so I don't have many complaints, but I rarely bite my tongue. If it's someone I don't like, I wouldn't even do anything nice, so I can avoid that all together.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 9 years
If it's very close family then I bite my tongue; I know they appreciate it. However, if it's someone else I usually say "I guess thank you is an unknown term these days." Get them everytime.
BeautyXRush BeautyXRush 9 years
I deal with it, at least I have manners.
merie33 merie33 9 years
I HATE it when people don't say please and thank you to cashiers and the like. The other day I was at the gas station and not one of the three people in line in front of me said please or thank you...just "10 on 5" "5 on 3" I said please and thanks to the guy, and it looked like it brightened his day...it's just a matter of common courtesy and manners...not that hard!
Jeny Jeny 9 years
I was raised on 'may I, please, and thank you' .. My parents drilled that in me so when I hear someone NOT say thank you, i'm peeved. ESPECIALLY when I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you!!!! I usually say 'uhhh you're welcome your highness!' jjeeeeezzzz..
emalove emalove 9 years
Ugh, I work with this jerk who is super-unorganized and always asks people for favors...he hardly EVER says thank-you. The other day, I was making some photocopies and he asked me if I could make some for him, that he had a meeting and didn't have time. I said yes and made the copies for him. When I dropped them off later, he said "oh yeah" and took them from me. That was it. So I said "you're welcome" and just left the room. So rude. To me, there's no excuse for bad manners like this.
MyPov MyPov 9 years
Too funny. I JUST had a conversation, more like a confrontation with a good friend last night who has been getting on my nerves for not saying "please" and "thank you." This has been going on for years but I finally told her how I felt last night, that it's rude and irritating. I often play dumb and ignore her when she just sticks something out for me to hold, trying to force her to have to say "please" but instead I come off as a fool who's not paying attention and it doesn't work because I eventually just end up filling her drink or holding her camera for her without the craved "please" I've been waiting for. When I realized she can't be "trained" I decided to confront her and she didn't take it very well. It seemed like she thought I was making it up or that I was the only person who notices it and is bothered by it, which isn't true, her other friends make eye contact with each other when she starts barking out commands or holding stuff up and we sort of roll our eyes in unison. Either way, she should say "please" and "thank you" to me and everyone else. But I guess you can't teach a rude dog new tricks!
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 9 years
We just went to a wedding last year, and we never received a thank-you note for the gift we gave. I e-mailed the bride months later to see if she received it, and she never e-mailed me back. I checked with another attendee, and he said his parents gave them a gift, and they were wondering if it was received. I just got married two weeks ago, and they didn't give us a wedding gift at all. You can bet the last of my thank-you notes are heading out the door this weekend. There were so many tacky things about her wedding (telling us ON THE INVITE that a wishing well would be at the reception, writing "No kids," etc.). There was an overpriced cash bar...you even had to pay for bottled water. Sorry, but if you can't afford to serve alcohol, just don't serve it (Miss Manners agrees). She went on and on about the venue and her dress and her husband's Dolce and Gabbana tux, but seemed to be saving money at the expense of her guests. Funny thing is that she acts all society wife because she married a well-to-do guy. They way they handled things was egregiously rude.
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 9 years
I couldnt give a rip. All that matters to me is that I have manners, if other people dont, hey, that's just reflects poorly on them. If they want to go through life embarrassing themselves, that's they're problem, not mine! I'm sure as hell not going to call them out on it. That would be rude. ;)
Colleeninator Colleeninator 9 years
Well, I'm from Texas, and we're HUGE on manners down here. So, we always hold doors, say thank you to our cashiers, etc. When someone doesn't use good manners around me (please, thank you, excuse me), I'm first shocked and confused, and THEN pissed off. Depending on what sort of setting we're in, I might chastise people on their manners (particularly, not saying 'excuse me' when you feel the need to push past someone).
lawchick lawchick 9 years
I'm with you Julie. I sent two friends, who each had babies about 2 months old, cute little outfits in the mail. Never heard from either of them, and it's been a year since I sent them!! I guess it's possible both got lost in the mail, but I doubt it. I know people are busy when they have a baby, and I took forever to write all my wedding thank you notes (4 months)--- but it is sooo better late than never. I even saw one of the friends a few months ago and she still didn't say anything. Do babies make your memory lapse??
Jillz1128 Jillz1128 9 years
I hate it! It also bothers me when people don't say thank you or you too or something when salespeople say have a nice day. I always make sure to do that because I remember how I hated it when I worked at a store.
juicylove juicylove 9 years
oh and when people dont say sorry or excuse me, thats just as bad. it seems like nobody has manners anymore. same with not waving when you let someone in when driving.
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 9 years
depending on who it is...if they dont say 'thank you' ill usually go something like 'youre welcome btw'. usually people feel silly after that. but one of my pet peeves is when people don't say excuse me. i think i OVER say it sometimes... i mean in bars..at fairs... we were at this fair the other day and this woman was making a bee line to the one tent and she didn't even say excuse me for cutting me and my fiance off....i actually said outloud 'would it kill you to say excuse me..'. ahhhhh that sends me nuts
juicylove juicylove 9 years
i hate when people dont say thankyou.. like if im going out of my way to do something for you, you dont need to do anything back but at least say thanks? but i dont say "youre welcome" if they dont say thanks because thats rude too.
julieulie julieulie 9 years
It particularly bothers me when you send a gift in the mail and never hear back. I have a friend who recently gave birth, and before the baby came, I ordered something to have shipped to her off her baby registry, and immediately after the baby was born, I sent off a hand crocheted baby blanket. Haven't heard anything -- I don't know if she is being inconsiderate, or if one or the other never made it -- and if the actual gift didn't make it, I'd like to know so I can get my money back! I completely understand that people are busy, but there is NO excuse for not sending a quick 3 sentence email to say thank you.
swwonder swwonder 9 years
I'm one of those people that will go back and say 'sorry', 'thank you' and 'please', so I find it really rude. I tend to just ignore it, and just be thankful that not everyone is like that, but depending on my mood I will snap.
Sammi_784 Sammi_784 9 years
it depends on my mood; sometimes i dismiss it, other times i look at them expectantly. i'm usually too shy to say anything, however at certain times of the month i can snap!
fortunate-fool fortunate-fool 9 years
I just keep my mouth shut but I think it's awful manners. I ALWAYS say thank you and sorry or excuse me, and it's not just because I'm Canadian. I'm the only one of my friends who has a box full of blank/thank you cards just in case I need to thank someone.
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