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Do Tell: How Many Pre-Wedding Parties Are Too Many?

Being a part of someone's wedding is a huge honor, but it's also very time-consuming and expensive. It seems that everyone's free time is getting more and more limited, so when you add wedding requirements to the mix, they can feel like more of a burden than an event to look forward to. Typically brides have one engagement party, one bridal shower, and one bachelorette party, but some have many more. Now I love a good party, don't get me wrong, but I know how monotonous these kind of parties can be. So ladies, do tell, how many pre-wedding parties are too many?

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vixen2 vixen2 9 years
1 engagement party, and 3 "cultural" pre-wedding parties ...
mabes mabes 9 years
I agree, it depends on your situation. I had 1 engagement party, 4 showers, a bachelorette party and gave a bridesmaids luncheon! I know it sounds like a lot - but they were all different people at each and my girls knew that i did not expect them to be at all of them whatsoever and if they wanted to come for them to not bring gifts just come and have some free yummy shower food. The scary part is that we turned down 3 other showers people wanted to throw for us.
sass317 sass317 9 years
In my defense, my husband's family has known my family since before we were born- so when we got engaged it was like they were using our engagement as an excuse to have parties and get the old gang back together again- so we had an engagement party(where I honestly wasnt expecting gifts, I just thought it was a party), 1 "bridal tea" with grandmothers and older cousins and such, 1 shower/superbowl party with the women of the gang that were friends with my parents and his parents back in the day thrown by my MIL's best friend, and a martini shower thrown by my moms friend, which was more of my friends. It could have been worse- my mom had TWO OTHER friends that wanted to give me showers as well, but it was getting insane. And I didnt have a bachelorette party, the martini shower was probably as close to a bachelorette party as I had. All of my bridesmaids were scattered all over the country so they couldnt do one.
Marci Marci 9 years
I'm not into the engagement party at all and almost resent it. I'm happy to go to a shower and bring a gift and attend the wedding and bring a gift. Beyond that, I feel that I'm being milked.
juliefischer juliefischer 9 years
Jenfan, I totally agree with you. Too expensive for everyone attending the shower and the wedding. Im getting married in september. My shower is a month from today. I told everyone I didnt want a shower, but they're throwing me one anyways. Im not looking forward to it. Isnt one party (the wedding) enough?
lizzylu49 lizzylu49 9 years
Totally depends. I agree with DC. I think people are welcome to have as many parties as they like, as long as they don't expect everybody to attend each one. You should really only ask someone to attend each type of party once (so if you have your second shower, don't invite the same people from your first).
javsmav javsmav 9 years
I just want one party--the wedding. And NO presents!!!
nancita nancita 9 years
Some brides have many more than one bachlorette, one engagement, and one shower?! That's ridiculous. I think one of each is plenty. Actually I don't really know why the engagement party is necessary, and I could skip the shower too. :)
ash_marisa ash_marisa 9 years
why would you have to split friends across gender lines? I'm confused?
cvandoorn cvandoorn 9 years
I wouldn't know, because I have only attended two weddings in my life! Once, when I was 11 (it was my aunt's), and the second time was this year (my bf's cousin got married).
killertomato killertomato 9 years
I'm probably the only one that feels this way, but I don't see why you need to have any parties before your wedding. I didn't. Splitting up our friends along gender lines for the purposes of gift giving just seemed weird and forced, so we skipped it.
DCRoamer DCRoamer 9 years
I am fine with the idea of multiple showers provided that a person is not expected to attend more than one. I don't care for big engagement parties - something small an intimate to introduce the families is fine, but I dislike the ones where everyone is invited and people are expected to bring a gift.
JenFan1 JenFan1 9 years
I personally can't stand the idea of showers period. It seems a bit excessive to expect your friends and family to buy you an engagement present and then come to your wedding with money in tow. Unless all your friends are millionaires, then it wouldn't matter I suppose. I gues its just not in my culture to do that and I'm not condeming anyone for the ones that they do. I am getting married in September and the only thing I have told my friends I want is for them to cover their plate at the reception..I just don't want a debt on my shoulders after the wedding is said and done as they are sooo beyond expensive to begin with. I know most people will give more then the plate..but that's just a bonus. More and more people that i know are dreading being invited to weddings simply because of all the cost involved for the guests...
syako syako 9 years
I only had one pre-wedding party. I liked it that way, but to each their own. I also, as a personal rule, tend to stick to attending only one pre-wedding party for my friends and family (but I do sometimes make exceptions).
ElizabethRae ElizabethRae 9 years
I don't understand being annoyed because ppl have parties. If they had a Super Bowl party and a Cinco de Mayo party in the same year would you be mad? Showers are the only events that require gifts. The rest are just for fun. I only had a 6 month engagement so everything happened in a short time period. I think it's silly to set limits like that. Getting married should be a celebration!!!
brittanyk brittanyk 9 years
I'm engaged and I haven't had an engagement party, I'm probably not going to. I might end up having two showers, just because my fiance's family all lives in one state and mine lives mostly in another. So, we might end up doing that just because it's easier. I'm sure I'll have a bachelorette party, but I'm not expecting anything fancy.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
I think it depends on situation. Like if your families live in different states you can't expect them to come to one location just so you don't have to have two parties. Especially if they are traveling for the wedding later on. bbkf, I understand what you are saying, but if a couple is getting married in Oct/Nov/Dec there is usually no choice but to have all the parties within the same year. Esp if they get engaged in Dec and only have a year long engagement.
lawchick lawchick 9 years
I had three showers (no other parties), but for different groups. The only person who came/was invited to all three was my mom. One was for my family. (fun brunch) One was for my friends. (lingerie shower) One was for my friends and (mostly) my mom's friends, and my female in-laws. (traditional shower) I felt very spoiled!
ElizabethRae ElizabethRae 9 years
I don't really think you can set a number. I had an engagement party and 3 showers (plus we all went out the night before the wedding). My parents live in one state, my in-laws in another and my DH and I in another. I think it is nice to have showers 'grouped' - like a work one and a family one. I just don't think you should invite all the same people to them.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
More than 3. My sister had 3 parties before she got married two years ago and it was exhuasting on all of us!
bbkf bbkf 9 years
I agree, KD. More than 2 showers is too many. I'm also annoyed when I couple has an engagement party, wedding shower(s), and the bachelor/ette parties all in the same year. That's a lot.
KDwxgirl KDwxgirl 9 years
I think any more than 2 bridal showers is excessive. I only had one, and I made my mom and MIL throw it together, because I didn't want more than one. It's too much pressure on the family and bridesmaids that might be invited to both. I was the maid of honor in a wedding where the bride had 3 showers, and it took a big toll on my time and pocketbook.
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