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Do Tell: What Was the Cause of Your Quarterlife Crisis?

The new NBC show Quarterlife debuted last night and I have a funny feeling people are going to be hooked. We've all heard of midlife crises, but lucky for us, we have to go through a quarterlife crisis first! It's that wavering period of uncertainty where you don't quite know who you are, what you want to do with your life, who your true friends are, or what your purpose is. I'm thankful I've already experienced mine, but what about you? If you're already past that bump in the road, do tell, what was the cause of your quarterlife crisis?


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Connieee Connieee 9 years
Thank God I'm not the only one! I've always thought that there must be something wrong with me. Mine started 3 years ago after I got fired from my job as a designer. It was a job that I loved and after that I just didn't know what to do coz maybe I just sucked at it. So now, I've tried a lot of things but I still haven't figured out what I really wanted to do. I'm still unemployed.
geohiker geohiker 9 years
AMP - I'm right there with you! My quarterlife crisis was definitely graduating from law school. I hated every minute I spent there, but my profs really discouraged me from dropping out, because it's very common for people to be miserable in law school. A hundred grand in debt (hobbled financially for decades to come) I - and more than half of my class at a very good law school - could not get a law job. I ended up drifting around professionally for a while, working a bunch of short-term jobs and making just enough money to live on (driving up those loans with compounded interest!). Oh, my parents were so proud! :) But, eventually I found a career field I really love and I have been really happy since then. I found (and married) a wonderful guy, and although those loans will hamper me for years to come, I did indeed successfully survive the quarterlife crisis. So, have hope, for those still in the midst of it; time passes and things indeed do change, and if you work at it, they change for the better. :)
AMP AMP 9 years
Finishing law school, realizing I was in my mid-twenties with over $100,000 in debt, had no job/income yet and really wasn't happy with my decision to have gone to law school. I always thought I'd be a homeowner by the time I was done with school, but ha! not even close to being a possibility at that time, nor this time, a few years later.
CoconutPie CoconutPie 9 years
I'm in it. Difficult times... I'm moving 7000 km away from home, leaving everything behind to be with my soon-to-be husband. I hope I'll figure some things out (like what I want to do or be). I have a feeling it's all for the best.
lovelie lovelie 9 years
I don't know if this could be categorized as a quarterlife crisis but I know that I am not happy where I am right now. I have one year left for my undergraduate and I love the school, but I hate the location it's in. TOO small, can't stand the people, and I'm just done with it all. The only shread of hope I am hanging on to is the selection of law schools I am applying to, and the dream of living in an awesome metropolitan city where you don't have to see the same faces everytime you want to go have a drink downtown. GRR.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
I think I'm still in mine.... and I'm 28! I had a couple of low-end jobs but a circle of great friends, then moved overseas to get a degree, then back, then across the country to get my last degree... and I'm so lonely I wish I had never gotten the degrees. I don't know if I can make it through the Ph.D., or if I will have a job. I miss my friends, and the city is expensive and lonely. I love my boyfriend, though-- part of the earlier crisis was dating a lot of unsuitable guys, so at least that is over. Still, I have dreams about being a housewife with three kids and not having to deal with a career. I don't think I am strong enough to handle a career anymore. It's sad but true.
aphaziak aphaziak 9 years
Definitely in the middle of mine as well... 5 years have now passed since I graduated high school, and it seems like I'm stuck in this rut on how to move forward. My job is comfortable, but boring, I find that the people I surrounded myself with the last 5 years are not the kind of people I want to go forward with in life, and I hate the state I live in!!!! I just can't figure it all out... what career should I work towards? Where do I want to land up in life? Etc. Etc. Etc. It was comforting to read some of these, and to know that it's not just me!!!
AvaSofia AvaSofia 9 years
My quartelife crisis came in 2007 and it sucked. It really put a strain on my marriage and my mothering of my two beautiful little girls . . . I'm happy to say that my husband and I worked through it all and we're in the best place in our marriage/life but it'll be years before I can let go of the guilt and regret. Mine was caused by anger and confusion with a church (more cult-like than anything) I was a part of for many years and left about 4 years ago. But again, to be where we are now, I'd go through that crisis over and over again . . .
Jenny-Hyatt Jenny-Hyatt 9 years
I had not heard the term quarterlife crisis until it started coming up on my site - it seems like a lot of people have one. And then i remembered that i did too - the cause was dating too many people simultaneously, a little dabbling in illegal substances and one hell of a lot of pressure in my work. I wish i had known at the time that it was more common. I find that having an anonymous space like ours is a great place to be able to talk about these things - as you don't always feel able to let others know that you are struggling with some stuff.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
I think I'm in it now.
kapikani kapikani 9 years
I know I'm going through it right now. I have a beautiful baby, a husband who supports us financially, we live in a great house, and live in a decent neighborhood. So why am I in such a crappy hole? For starters, when my husband and I got married (3 years ago) we moved 300 miles away from all our friends and family. We moved because he got a job offer he couldn't refuse. So, I finished my BA at the crappy university that was 40 miles away from home (yes I drove everyday); I got pregnant (planned), and am now a stay-at-home mom. The reason I'm feeling really down lately, is because I'm at home with my baby all the time, and most times we don't leave the house for over a month. I'm in desperate need of seeing people and places. I can't remember the last time I had an intellectual conversation or any conversation. We live in a city that's small and that's just barely starting to update to what the rest of the bigger cities look like and have. That said, in order for us to go shopping or to go to restaurants we have to go to the surrounding cities. So, if we want Olive Garden or the mall, we have to drive an hour up north or an hour down south. It really sucks because I can't even shop for a few simple things without driving a lot of miles. I know this may not be a big deal for most of you. But for someone who lived in a big city all her life, this is pretty tough. After 3 years I'm still trying to get used to the loneliness. Oh and it doesn't help living next to older folks or neighbors who keep to themselves and who don't really socialize.
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
Thanks, Asia84! And...that second paragraph...:ROTFL:
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
To Jude C: i don't think anything is impossible or too ambitious. if you know what it takes to acheive it and you are persistant, then it should happen. never discount any dreams you may have. . . unless you're ambitions were to be a Playmate who wins an Oscar.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
I've always knew what i wanted to do for a career. and i set the goals, and i have achieved them. i love my life right now. yeah, i find that friends are weird and all that social drama. but i'm kinda cut and dry. if i don't like how you "roll", then i stop foolin' with you. same with men. if you do something i don't like (like say you don't have children, and i find out a week later you're married with 2.5 kids . ..yes, this has happen to me) then i dump them. luckily i'm not needy for a man. i know that a few friends at this age go through that. but men come and go. and the right one (you know, who loves that i'm a bossy neurotic b*tch) will come along. no pressure. i'm pretty financially stable at the moment. but if things get too hard, i know that it's a part of life. i happy with my body, and i KNOW my morals and values. and i have a pretty decent connection with the Big G.
oh-cecilia-baby oh-cecilia-baby 9 years
duuuuuuuude. i hope i've already experienced mine. i'm 20 years old and recently got out of a 5+ year relationship (hahaha, i knowwww). it definitely has changed my perspective on a number of things, but left me feeling sort of inadequate in other areas of my life such as my education & future career. come to think of it, i'm still trying to find myself... hmmm, well i hope it passes soon.
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
I am so having one right now. I just turned 28, and my mind is always full of "where is my life going? How did I end up here?" kind of questions--as well as the inevitable disappointment of realizing I haven't achieved my (crazy ambitious) 21-year-old goals. But I think I'd call it less of a crisis than an adjustment--an adjustment away from the blind, blithe optimism of youthful adulthood, into a more realistic perception of matters. And I still have those wild goals, I just now realize it takes more time and effort to reach them than my 21-year-old self imagined. :)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
I definitely went through one. Metaphorically, I was sitting in a first class flight heading where I didn't want to go. That was a BAD place to be, no matter how nice it looked on the outside. Needless to say, I got off that flight at the first stop. Nowadays, I am soooo much happier for it. I'm thriving.
tenner tenner 9 years
i'm definitely having mine.i'm 24 and don't know what to do with my life. I graduated from college 2 years ago and currently work in ny. i ended up in a field that I just don't see myself in. The pay is decent and my colleagues are great but i just can't continue here. I want to go back to grad school but can't take that step without knowing what to pursue. so basically i feel stuck! i'm single & wondering when the hell i'll meet a decent guy but i also realize i need to do some self-reflection & know myself better so i can make better decisions. friends are slowly starting to get engaged & going back to school so it makes me even more nervous. like i need to be doing things but feel stuck in a rut. Don't want to sound ungrateful coz i AM very grateful that my family & friends are healthy & well.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
I'm 23! I dropped out of law school a few months ago, and now I'm thinking of going back. My boyfriend and I decided not to get married for a while, and now I have no idea where my relationship is headed. I'm considering joining the Air Force...I have a job right now that I love, but even my future here is uncertain since I just got hired because we have a big case...and if it settles..I have no idea what will happen to me! I think the quarter-life crisis happens because you've graduated from undergrad, you are trying to figure out what to do with your life, and you are starting to have relationships that might potentially lead to marriage or serious commitment. I always thought university was full of drama, but not uncertainty like this!
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
beram-read my 1st post to this question. :)
DivineGigi DivineGigi 9 years
Ah I think I just started mine around when I turned 25 (how appropriate) This year I married an Australian and moved to Australia. Jobs should have been easy with my education (grad degree from MIT in videogames) I am a game designer. Unfortunately moving to Australia means moving out of my network. No one here has heard of MIT and the only videogame company is my husband's so I've been forced to take a job I don't want. I'm only here temporarily so I keep telling myself it is just for the time being but man....this isn't how I pictured things would be. I miss iced tea without sugar so bad. Anything iced here has ice cream in it.
workin9to5 workin9to5 9 years
beram1220, I *think* I am out of the woods now (really hoping I didn't speak too soon!). So maybe I can tell my story... It also started for me after college. I was like WTF am I going to do now? I found a job, but it kinda sucked. My boyfriend and I were fine, but the future felt uncertain. I thought, if we make it through the next couple of post-college years, we'll be fine! But it wasn't always easy. He was job searching and for a while living at home, so we didn't see each other as much as we were used to. I lived with roommates who I loved (and still love) but didn't love living with at all. Things started to come together and feel normal, and then my dad got cancer. I spent a lot of time with him because I worked really close to my parents' house. He died within six months and even though I knew for the last three that it would happen, I wasn't quite prepared. I went to therapy for a while and it helped over time. Soon after, I ditched the crap job and found a somewhat better one. My boyfriend and I moved in together and it was the best decision I ever made. I later discovered a way to transition to a different department I liked better at my job, making it much more satisfying. I also began a side business that's begun to flourish. Then I started a grad program that fulfills my creative side. Now I'm engaged and all in all, life is good because I found ways to make it that way. Still, nothing comes easy--lots of work + grad school isn't always so fun. I am sad my dad is gone, but I have accepted it now instead of always asking "why" or thinking "what if?" And of course relationships take work--there was a while there when I was really worried my guy wasn't going to propose and I felt very hurt. But I think patience and trying to think clearly helps the most. And surrounding yourself with those that make you feel the best.
shanimalcracker shanimalcracker 9 years
I have a few years until my true "quarterlife," however, I have definitely felt the effects of wondering where I am and where I'm going. I graduated from college last year at 20, feeling scared and single as I had broken up with a boyfriend I dated all through college. Then I came home to the Bay Area to have a year off and work before Law School; of course, this pretty much put me in a job that I wouldn't love to have for the rest of my life. This also gave me a lifestyle in which I would be tired when I came home from work and also not know many friends in the area. Now, I am deciding where I want to spend the next three years of my life and possibly the rest of my life. That definitely scares me and makes me wonder what is going to happen, what I'll be and where I'll be.
Ikandy Ikandy 9 years
Oh Man...Im so going through mine...
beram1220 beram1220 9 years
Is there anyone out there that is over their quarterlife crisis?? I would like to hear some stories about what made you overcome the tough times.
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