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Do Tell: What Does Commitment Look Like?

Yesterday Reuters reported on a study, showing that men and women can tell whether a member of the opposite sex is interested in long-term commitment or a fling simply by looking at them. The article notes:

Women found men with softer features more likely to opt for commitment . . . the research also showed that women who were open to short-term sexual relationships were usually seen as more attractive.

It seems that this perception is based on human instincts and the desire to mate; however, it got me wondering why people continually fall for someone who's not interested in the same level of commitment. If we can tell what a man wants just by looking at him, then how come so many of us keep going for the ones that are all wrong for us? Then again, do you really think you can see a guy across the room and, without even talking to him, know what kind of relationship he's looking for? Weigh in and tell me what you think!


Join The Conversation
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I could see the softer features. Most of the playboys are strong jawed. I don't think commitment has a certain look though cause all guys can be commitment phobes just as easily as being all for commitment. It depends on the person they are with.
Janine22 Janine22 9 years
I don't think you can tell just by looking at someone! Maybe you can tell if they just want to hook up, but that's about it. I guess you can get a vibe about if they want a relationship with you or not, but I think you have to actually talk to them, not just look at them.
Meike Meike 9 years
Let's all go judge books by their cover, now.
Marci Marci 9 years
I don't know about this. My fiance was a MAJOR player and while he had a couple of longterm relationships, he wasn't looking to get into a committed one. That changed when we met. I think it has more to do with the right two people meeting than anything else.
Stacey-Cakes Stacey-Cakes 9 years
i went to law school with a guy who looked exactly like this and did not have a serious girlfriend for any portion of the 3 years i knew him...
javsmav javsmav 9 years
oops, that should say a SHORT-TERM sexual relationship.
javsmav javsmav 9 years
Wait, does this mean I'm unattractive because I want a committed relationship instead of a sexual one? What a ridiculous study.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
This is really, really dumb.
almost-famous almost-famous 9 years
Well, I know when a man wants JUST SEX, but to determine a relationship? No! I believe in the old-fashion way of determining if them man was interested in a relationship. That's by having a full week of going out on a date or two and talking to him to see where his head is.
linb linb 9 years
I once saw a piece on TV about this, the study suggested that it had to do with the hormone levels in us. A man with strong masculine features, who many would say is more handsome, has more testosterone, and therefore is more likely to want to "spread his seed" in as many places as possible. On the other hand, men with softer features have less testosterone, and are more likely to commit to one person.
clareberrys clareberrys 9 years
That's crazy! I had never said that before either, but there was just something about it that made me know! That is awesome that the same thing happened to you and now you are married! So two of us have now proved this little theory correct!
marcella marcella 9 years
clareberrys -- I said the same thing after meeting my now husband! I spent the night I met him just talking and went home and told my roommate that I was going to marry him. And, believe me, I've NEVER said that before. How funny that someone else had the same experience!
clareberrys clareberrys 9 years
I don't necessarily think you can see someone and know what they are looking for, but I do think that sometimes you can tell if a guy is just wanting to hook up by the way he talks to you or by the way he is dressed. The very first night I saw my current boyfriend I went back to my roommate and told her I was going to marry him. We had only talked that night. Over 2 years later we are now living together and have future plans together. So, who knows, maybe you can tell just by looking at someone!
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