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Do Tell: What Double Standard Drives You Nuts?

Is it just me or does it seem like there’s a big gender divide when it comes to expectations about marriage? A middle-aged, unwed man is considered to have made a choice to remain a bachelor, while an unmarried woman of the same age is assumed to be desperately waiting for a man to rescue her! Though we’re lucky enough to live in a society that values women’s rights, it’s still inevitable to encounter double standards. I’ve shared mine, so what about you? We know men and women are different, but do tell: Which double standard drives you nuts?


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dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
Double standards. They are getting better I think. But some still exist in 2009. None of them get to me that much anymore. If someone wants to open a door for me I'm not going to make a federal case out of it. I just say thanks. Although when I hear one, it gets on my nerves. The old standard of men with experience versus a women being virgins. Then I suppose its O.K. for her to act like a whore in the bedroom after marriage. Give me a break. What if she was a blow job queen like some virgins I know. It makes me want to ask them if that's all a woman is worth. I'm always wondering, what if the virgin is fat, ugly or stupid? Poor? What if she acts like an idiot? What if she has hair on her back? Besides we all know, if some millionaires daughter is behind door one, a famous beautiful tennis pro behind door two, and hey, the fat virgin is behind door three, which doors are really opened.
Blackwood Blackwood 9 years
I really hate when people open the door for me, I actually use another door, especially when it's a car. Also, I hate it when I go to a store with a man, and whether it's my father or a friend, the salesman (women don't do it that often) always speak to him even though I'm the one who asks for something! Like I'm some kind of idiot who can't understand what she's buying! God that pisses me off.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
I hate the promiscuity thing the most -- player/stud vs. "slut"
piesecki piesecki 9 years
I hate that being a girl geek is so much worse than being a guy geek. I can't stand programmes like Average Joe and Beauty and the Geek because you know it would *never* get made the other way around. I know male geeks don't exactly always have the best time of it in the media etc, but it's nothing compared to how girl geeks are stereotyped - or just ignored altogether - thank goodness for GeekSugar eh?
itsme3683 itsme3683 9 years
I don't think that holding doors open is antifeminist, i'm pretty sure it's just... not being a jerk.
frimpled frimpled 9 years
I hate that it's assumed that women are stupid/ don't know anything. The other day I was jumping my mom's car in our condo parking lot and my (older male) neighbor started yelling, "Do you ladies need some help? You know that positive goes on positive right? Are you sure you don't need a little help..." blah blah blah. I'm pretty sure I know how to jump a car, creep. I am also the one getting her test answers copied during exams (very annoying). By GUYS. So whatever. And of course the double standard of women=sluts and men=players. Ughhhh.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
All of these drive me nuts. One of the most annoying is when guys say they don't like girls who wear makeup but can't actually tell that a girl is wearing makeup. I also hate that guys think girls can't do anything or don't know how to fix things or that we don't know anything about cars, electronics or sports. I know more about sports, cars and electronic than all the guys I hang out with put together but I also happen to know a lot about makeup, shopping and decorating. Why does it have to be one thing or the other? Another one that bugs me is that women think men have to pay for everything and take care of them and that some men feel the same. I hate when guys open doors for me or act like I can't do something that I could do much better than they could.
JenFan1 JenFan1 9 years
um excuse me tvolunteers - but Muslims are justifying it by religion? There is that old sterotype again - are you aware that there are 2 billion Muslims in the world? How many of them are "terrorists"? Less then 0.01% for sure!! The Koran does not say anywhere it is ok to kill innocent people!! Murder is the worst sin you can committ as any other religion will agree with as how does the Muslim religion justify this? You are fooled by the media's coverage of "extremists" who have misinterpreted the Koran and have smeared the religion for everyone who is a part of it. And by the way...women are not inferior to men, the Koran says men and women are equals, they are allowed to do whatever a man does and they DO NOT have to wear those burqas and all that stuff so readily portrayed in the media. Those are "cultural" things...not religious.
JenFan1 JenFan1 9 years
wow you guys have all named some really good ones! I agree with all of them - women are sluts while men are studs if they sleep around - women should clean and cook while a man is allowed to come home from work and relax on the couch before his dinner is "served to him"..of course nevermind the fact that his wife also worked but she is by all means expected to still get in that kitchen and whip up something for him! My most hated double standard is that all women want babies and if they don't want them something is wrong with them or they will "change their minds". I cannot tell you how many times I have faced the blank stares of "what do you mean you don't want any kids" and the old dismissal "oh silly, you'll change your mind". Guess what, I'm 26 years old..don't you think the window of "changing my mind" is getting just a tad narrow by now? That one definitely irks me more then any of them! We are not all meant to reproduce - some of us just aren't born with a single maternal bone in our bodies.
designerel designerel 9 years
Nicola just FYI newspapers shouldn't be that way if they are following AP Style. Once the person in question is over 18, they should be described as man or woman. Otherwise it will be boy or girl or just "teenager."
designergirl designergirl 9 years
In addition to the double standards mentioned, another drives me crazy. How is it that a man can be labeled as the "string, silent type," but when a woman behaves similarly, she's considered to be a "stuck up bitch." If you don't go around with a goofy grin plastered to your face, then, as a woman, you're cold and arrogant, but, as a man, you're mysterious and aloof.
citizenkane citizenkane 9 years
The women vs. men not married by a certain age is by far the biggest double-standard to me. I am 28 and all of my guy friends who aren't married are looked at as successful, patient and able to have their choice of women. While I on the other hand, (even though I am in a committed relationship of over 2 years), am looked at as 'behind' or lonely.
kythera kythera 9 years
zombielove I agree with you! I don't care that my husband gets out because he doesn't get out enough! He doesn't mind that I go out with my friends, he knows I'm independent. We have a pretty equal marriage, except when it comes to house cleaning, he won't clean the kitchen or bathrooms. Btw... I hate when it's assumed that the woman does the housework/cooking. Like what is this, 1955? 8)
It's perfectly acceptable that a woman stay home, not have a job, and live off of her boyfriend/ husband. However, if a woman wants to be the one who is the breadwinner, it's a problem. The "role" of a woman being at home, pregnant, in the kitchen, or cleaning.
Nicola_2108 Nicola_2108 9 years
On the news, you get: "A 17 yr old man" "A 17 yr old girl"
seraphimm seraphimm 9 years
Guys are cheered for when they blurt out comments like "She's hot!" but when girls talk bluntly about guys like that, she's considered HORNY or DESPERATE. oh, and I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when I do strength/weight training at the gym... I get dirty/condescending looks from "the men" because I'm "technically" not supposed to be on those tough machines. :HEAVY:
looseseal looseseal 9 years
One phrase gets just about all my ire: "Boys will be boys." When I was a kid I exchanged some punches with a boy and got chastised because "girls shouldn't fight". How about teaching both kids that solving problems with physical violence is wrong, huh? God, thinking about that still pisses me off. That was in the 90s, too, it's not like it was the 50s, but some people want to be stuck in the 50s. The flip side of the stud/slut thing is that men who might want to choose to only be intimate with one woman would be considered "weird" and someone with "something wrong with him". Oh, yeah, I'm with everyone on the old "women always love marriage and babies! The ones who says they don't are freaks or in denial!" There's a reason men tend not get the same shit. This is a remnant of the olden times (and still present in some places), when men could survive just fine on their own, but a woman who couldn't get married off would have no way to survive except maybe join a nunnery, become a beggar woman, or prostitution. Repeat this info the next time someone gets on your case about being a happily single woman. Then ask them to join the 21st century. That'll shut them up good. Jeebus, I'm so glad it's the 21st century and I live in a modern society so I don't HAVE to get married to survive and produce a male heir for him as a part of my proper wifely duties.
everthewild everthewild 9 years
I hate when a guy says he hates when girls wear make-up, but every time he hits on someone or talks about a pretty celebrity, they're practically dripping make-up. I also hate it when girls get mad at the "other woman". Honestly, it's your boyfriend/husband being an idiot 97% of the time. If she knew about you, ok, anger warranted. But the man also needs to shoulder the blame.
Isista Isista 9 years
And I agree with you, zombielove. I figure I trust my man, so he should be allowed guys nights and if they end up at a strip club, I'm not gonna get mad. On the contrary, share the details lol.
Isista Isista 9 years
I have a couple. I hate that men can be comfortable talking about sex and it's like an accomplishment and is praised. I, as a young woman who enjoys sex and isn't opposed to talking maturely about sex, am seen as loose or strange. I also hate that all my guy friends aren't given crap about being friends with a girl, but people automatically judge me when I tell them I'm more comfortable with most of my guy friends than my girl friends.
zombielove zombielove 9 years
mine probably won't be popular but i hate it when men wanna go to a strip club with friends and the girlfriends get all pissy and say they [guy] shouldn't be going and bla bla bla but say the girl has a night out and THEY end up at a strip club it's all fine and dandy and considered "fun". i've actually known people like that, who don't want their bf's doing one thing, but they [the woman] does it and just brushes it off as it just being a "fun girls night out".
XSofieX XSofieX 9 years
when someone is constantly preaching healthy living and comments on everything you eat when they themselve are overweight and incapable of ever losing weight. And I second the weakness thing, femininity is not equal to weakness or being helpless. ALSO that girls have to appear small or petite regardless of size - I'm 5'10 and even though I'm slim its always weird that I don't look like a a little fragile little girl
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Oh and girls automatically aren't good at any sports...not to brag, but I have really good balance and really good reaction times, better than most guys or girls...and I always surprise guys when I can actually play sports. It actually gives me an advantage at first at least b/c they assume I suck and don't really try very hard at first, so I get ahead!!! lol! :-P
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