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Do Tell: What Makes a Successful Relationship?

I think we can all agree, there’s just no recipe for the perfect relationship — different things work for different people. But sometimes I wonder if the ultimate success of a relationship is based more on the circumstances that befall the couple than their actual compatibility. If a couple seems made for each other, but then fall on hard times, perhaps their eventual breakup has more to do with what they had to deal with then who they were.

Then there are those couples who don’t seem ready to cope with the twists and turns of life but end up lasting because they were never confronted with any serious challenges. I don’t know the answer to this one, so I really need your opinions. Do tell, is the success of a relationship more determined by its circumstances or the couple’s compatibilities? Or is it some combination of both?


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Simbelmyne Simbelmyne 8 years
Marci said "Communication, courtesy, communication, trust, commmuication, caring, communication, generosity of feelings, communication, and sex. Those are the things that I think are key in a successful relationship." I totally agree!!
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
I agree with Jude C, I think that the ability of the relationship to last is based more on how the couple handles things together. Lots of people go through hard times, but some learn how to handle it together and some don't. Maybe some people that prob. wouldn't handle trouble very well together do just get lucky and don't really have to deal with any they last. I think thats more of the exception than the rule though. Oh and like Jude C, I wanted to say: barring any really horrible things.
marcella marcella 9 years
the willingness to compromise and loving the good and bad in your partner. also, be willing to admit when you are wrong.
runningesq runningesq 9 years
Communication, honesty, and a sense of humor.
vmruby vmruby 9 years
In my own experiences I found that communication(most important)being able to be friends as well as lovers ,trust, respect for each others feelings and opinions (even if you don't agree,)and leaving previous relationships in the past without discussing/comparing it to the present one, have been the key to some successful and long term relationships for me.....
citizenkane citizenkane 9 years
Lots of little things, but only a few very important ones: TRUST, COMMUNICATION and RESPECT. Without those 3, it won't last.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
Key to a successful relationship: You both like each other
Cynnie Cynnie 9 years
I think it's our ability to cope with the hard times and to not give up at the sight of trouble. You have to build your relationship to be strong and coherent. You have to talk to each other as much as possible without holding back any grudges you might have because you'll add up the anger towards one another and that's no good for a relationship. The other one has to KNOW your limits and you have to KNOW HIS also...not to cross any boundaries that might hurt the other person. Respect is a must for both parties... I think that's what makes a successful relationship work...
bingkaycoy bingkaycoy 9 years
Simple...I got this pretty good advice from my mother; "Admit it when you're wrong, shut up when you're right."
Papaver Papaver 9 years
It's essential to have your own issues sorted and love yourself before you enter a relationship. Especially if the other one is having issues and inner problems of their own. I'd like to believe that sometimes due to certain circumstances and things happening in their lives people can't be together, not because they don't love each other but because there is something else inside them that prevents them from being able to work things out together. But I'm not so sure about it anymore :(
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 9 years
I think that the biggest part of a successful relationship is COMMUNICATION!!!! A couple who has a strong foundation of communication has a much better chance than one who doesn't... Though there are some extremely tragic events that could rip a couple apart no matter is never a simple thing.
Meike Meike 9 years
Communication, first and foremost. Then, compatibility in enough areas of life. Circumstance has no bearing on a relationship's success. The greatest of couples are able to weather through the most severe storms.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
Compatibility definitely. My DH and I have been through some serious things such as health scares and having literally no money and we came out better for it. In fact those times were the best in our relationship because nothing came between us and we really stuck together.
Marci Marci 9 years
Communication, courtesy, communication, trust, commmuication, caring, communication, generosity of feelings, communication, and sex. Those are the things that I think are key in a successful relationship.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I could see having a great relationship with someone, and then losing our child in a freak accident, and having it all spiral out of control. I think tragedy can definitely affect people in ways they never anticipated and in some cases it would make the couple much more fragile. But I would say that relationships are successful for a variety of reasons; likewise they are unsuccessful for various reasons as well.
saraleann saraleann 9 years
I don't think it is whether or not people are compatible or not. I think people need to share a value system. They can learn together and play together, but if they have a different value system then when they encounter a challenge, it could break them up.
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
"perhaps their eventual breakup has more to do with what they had to deal with then who they were." I don't agree with that. I think that, barring certain truly heinous catastrophes, the way that couples deal with difficult circumstances shows whether they are compatible and truly committed to each other and the relationship. Life always has its ups and downs; the relationships that are successful are the ones that get through the downs through teamwork, patience, commitment. In a relationship, especially a very serious one that's also a financial partnership of sorts (even more so when there are children involved), those involved have to be willing to do what it takes to get through hard times together. Hard times break up relationships because they show who isn't willing to do that work.
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