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Do Tell: What One Thing Would You Change About Your Sex Life?

Last weekend I asked you all to share the one thing you'd change about your relationship, and though your responses were all over the board, a few of you alluded to making changes in your sex life. Having a healthy sex life takes a lot of communication in the bedroom, so do tell, if you could change one thing about what happens behind closed doors, what would it be? And don't be shy, I'm sure your gripes aren't far off from everyone else's!


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Venus1 Venus1 7 years
I would just love to have more time in the day for sex.
First...I love my man!!! but..I would change EVERYTHING!!!! Our sex life sucks....after 2 years this is as good as it gets. I tried talking to him but he doesn't understand. I tried showing him but he doesn't get it. His penis is on the smaller size, he has ED and won't give orally. When using his fingers, I always bleed and and never reach an orgasam. This is a serious problem for me but he has low self esteem that I don't know any other way to get through to him to get what I need.
avantgardeology avantgardeology 8 years
How hard it is for me to orgasm. I NEVER orgasm from regular sex. He always does..
avantgardeology avantgardeology 8 years
I think I would change his unwillingness to do a threesome. But, I really like our sex life, so nothing!
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
Ever since I have gotten on the pill my libido has dropped. Which, annoys me, because I don't want sex as often, but, I don't want a baby, so my options are pretty limited. We could use condoms, but I'm allergic to latex, and non latex ones are hard to come by and they feel terrible! So, yeah. I also wish that through out the day he would make me feel sexy, that way it's easier to get worked up when we do want to do it. :)
xopiperxo xopiperxo 8 years
nothing :)
lilCROAT03 lilCROAT03 8 years
wow i'm really surprised at the amount of women who want more sex! and to think....they complain about us being prudish! step up men.
thelorax thelorax 8 years
I wish that instead of whining about me not having an orgasm, he would take the initiative to help me learn how to have one with him!
gooniette gooniette 8 years
I want us to be less inhibited while sober. It's always so much more fun while we're tipsy, so it's getting to be that's the only time we do it.
Belle1031 Belle1031 8 years
I wish we had more of it. After we moved in we've only been having sex once or twice a week which I realize isn't bad at all but I have a very high libido all week but his is usually high only during the weekend (which is when we have sex) since he gets home tired every night and all he wants to do is eat and sit on the couch cuddling and watching TV. I also wish he enjoyed giving oral, he loves when I give him oral but he hates giving it to me, which sucks since when he does its AMAZING! I don't know how to fix either of those.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
I definitely wish we had more of it. When we do, it's great -- as long as we remember the lube. We just a few months ago got cable, whereas for the time before that, we never watched it -- so we had more "time" to have sex. Now, he gets so distracted by what's on TV, so that the only time we are in bed is when we are about to sleep. I personally think that is messed up, and trying DESPERATELY to change it.
LilyLyra LilyLyra 8 years
More! (I'm in a really really LDR. I can't wait till March when he will finally be here.)
DarlingDA DarlingDA 8 years
I wish we could synch up a little better with our schedules - he likes morning sex (which we really only have on the weekends since we both have work and school), while I am more of a night person. Also, I wish he wouldn't pass out after sex! I always feel energized, and want to cook or go for a walk or hang out, and he just falls asleep with a goofy smile on his face.
lilCROAT03 lilCROAT03 8 years
i want to watch porn together but i feel awkward bc i used to be so jealous. i'm not anymore bc i feel comfortable in our relationship now and i know he's not watching it for the girls (duh i know). but it's like i dont want to be the the same time if he suggests it i automatically react like 'oh yeah you want to watch some sluts?'- ugh i'm a tard but it might be bc porn is so 'man orientated' that i don't even get turned on.
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
it's perfect when we see each other - very passionate and we are interested in all the same things. because it's so passionate, it's hard to, um, slow down sometimes, so the main thing I would change is seeing him more often (we're in an LDR) and being able to take it more slooooowly. I know he feels the same way - we want to explore all these things but being apart for over a month usually, we just can't wait to have each other!
shoesuga shoesuga 8 years
More of it... I broke up with my boyfriend last spring and haven't found a new one yet : (
dino-dino dino-dino 8 years
exactly, Fallen85. xoxo(K)(L)(L)(K), dino dino
Fallen85 Fallen85 8 years
dino dino could you also not want to answer this question because you're in highschool and sex is still that gross thing your parents do to make their bed squeak and the act that the weird guy from your history class keeps trying to make you do behind the bleachers? For people who are in stable healthy relationships this question is no scarier then asking what a couple's favorite position is or who does the most housework at home. Also, DearSugar asks it so that us ladies here on DearSugar can voice our concerns so maybe if someone else on the site has been through this issue they can give advice or at least commiserate, also, if something happens at home we have already thought about this situation so it will be easier to bring it up with our significant other if ever need be. The beauty of DearSugar is that we girls can talk about anything we want and not feel ashamed or embarrassed by our answers. So keep on truckin and when you're finished school and moved on to the next stage in life you'll probably understand a bit better. xoxo Fallen
dino-dino dino-dino 8 years
i refuse to answer this question as it is 2 personal and i dont c why anyone would ask this. xoxo dino dino
Myst Myst 8 years
umm nothing, it's great :D I just wish we were actually in the same country to have more of it. But in all honesty I wish I was a bit more adventurous as he is. He has serious exhibitionist tendency and I'm always afraid we're will get caught one of these days.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
I would like to add more variety to our sex life, i.e. Toys, different locations, new positions, etc. I'm generally satisfied, but a little spice here and there never hurt anyone. ;)
Fallen85 Fallen85 8 years
I wish his thing was just a teensy bit smaller because right now it hurts after doing it 3 or 4 times and then we can only have quickies for the rest of the month until I get a break! Still, how can I really complain?
valancyjane valancyjane 8 years
I would LOVE to have a higher libido. It's never been very high; I can go weeks without sex. We are physically affectionate - lots of hugs and kisses - but as far as actual sex, I can take it or leave it, whereas he would love it if we had sex every day!
kia kia 8 years
I wish I wouldn't get so shy and self-conscious about the squishier parts of my body. If I could get over myself I would enjoy sex a whole lot more and my husband would appreciate me getting over myself.
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