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Do Tell: What Would You Do If Your Husband Cheated?

This past week, reports broke that South Carolina's first lady Jenny Sanford was moving out of the governor's mansion. Honestly, I'm not surprised after her cheating husband Gov. Mark Sanford admitted last month that although he found his soulmate (aka his mistress), he was trying his best to fall back in love with his wife. How sweet sickening. The first lady is taking her dignity, along with her four sons, to their family home in Sullivans Island, SC. Mark Sanford says he supports his wife and that the decision to move will help the couple's reconciliation efforts.

If you were in Jenny Sanford's position, and maybe you have been, what would you do?

Image Source: Getty
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dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
The soul mate part would hurt beyond belief for any woman. That was the deal breaker there. If he had said she didn't matter or it was a total mistake than that's a start. But he nailed the coffin shut when he made that soul mate comment. She is doing the only thing she can. Leave. Talk about humiliating to have that idiot husband talk about his affair like that. I am the type to take revenge, but slowly, carefully. If it were me I would fly down to south America later on for a nice ski trip and drag up some nice young guy from Brazil, Venezuela or Columbia and let the reporters have a field day.
NurseKimberly NurseKimberly 8 years
janeaustenrules janeaustenrules 8 years
I've been with my husband for over 16 years. I have always told him that cheating is a deal breaker. But in truth, after everything we have been through over the years, I find it hard to believe there is a particular event or behaviour that is a defacto deal breaker. Relationships change and evolve and people are not infallible and sometimes make mistakes. I don't believe that all infidelities mean the cheating spouse no longer loves the innocent spouse. Sometimes it says more about the insecurities of the cheater (and the way he/she feels about him/herself) than it does about how the cheater feels about the innocent spouse. In some circumstances, I might be able to forgive infidelity and move beyond it. I'm not saying it would not be difficult, but I would be willing to work at it. Having said that, this particular circumstance is not one that would inspire me to work to save my marriage. Not only has he behaved incredibly selfishly, by running off without explanation and declaring his love for this woman publically, he has also inflicted an additional layer of pain on his wife. His conduct is incredibly disrespectful to her and shows, in my opinion, that he is incapable of prioritizing his marriage. And if this is not a wake up call for him to put his marriage first, there is nothing for her to work at saving.
lwimbush lwimbush 8 years
we'd be DONE.
kiwitwist kiwitwist 8 years
I would be gone... I have low self esteem so I know that I would never forget or forgive my cheating husband. Not to mention the 'soulmate' 'not in love with my wife' bullcrap.
mrsld mrsld 8 years
It is black and white! People in happy marriages do not cheat. If you are in an unhappy marriage then be an adult and do something to fix it or leave. Cheating is just a weak persons way of trying to have it both ways. So if my husband cheated that would be it, Gone! (and I have been married 9 years) And in this case of such a public display. She should run not walk away from him. He is beyond immature and a disgrace.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
HJ, I am prospering. but then again I am not a serial cheater.
hlj504 hlj504 8 years
Well, I have been in her situation...around this time last year, and I can tell you that she is way better off without him. I realized that being in a relationship with someone who I could no longer trust wasn't healthy, as I'd always be wondering where he was...and with whom...and that's no way to live. I am soooo much happier now! My life is on the upswing, and karma is totally catching up with my ex. It's true....karma's a bitch and cheaters never prosper!
JennH JennH 8 years
I would end the relationship. Sure I could forgive my husband but I wouldn't be able to forget and it would end up destroying the relationship in the long run.
Briandiesel Briandiesel 8 years
Public humiliation is definitely where I would draw the line on the infidelity. But in my life, I've forgiven a cheater and tried to work through it. Never forgot and honestly never forgave him. Ended up being one of the reasons we eventually split. I was starting to flirt with other guys to make him jealous and stuff. Was all because I didn't trust him and wanted him to not trust me too-
eastcoastgirl eastcoastgirl 8 years
Every situation is different but four children with his wife and now he has found his "soulmate" that is truly hurtful to tell the public and I think he handled himself poorly!!
Smacks83 Smacks83 8 years
This guy basically said he found his soulmate in someone else, but is essentially trying to make himself love his wife because you are supposed to. Um, how is this even a question when it comes to his wife? I lean more towards breaking up if I got cheated on, but in reality it hard to predict how anyone will really react in the future. And Chrstne, after reading your post I'm glad you already know what type of person you are, its
skigurl skigurl 8 years
in their situation, i feel it's more than just cheating...he obviously loves this other woman and found a soulmate in her...if i were his wife, i'd take off and move on. under other circumstances, i might be able to take someone back but only if we really worked on it and his reasoning was more along the lines of "i felt something was missing, but it was only one time, and i regret it, and i love you and only you" as opposed to "it's an ongoing affair...i love someone else but i wish i loved you"
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
Well since I have cheated on my husband and we have worked it out, I would attempt to work it out again with him if he did it. Its a symptom of something wrong, it isnt necessarily the end of a marriage if you really want things to change. I am living proof of that.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
Well, for me, since I am a bitch is do this: I will let my husband continue to cheat on me, and bit by bit, day by day, I will take cash out of checking/savings and start taking our money. Since he has no proof I was doing it to be a bitch, and it's marital money...well, tough luck. Then, after I have saved up my work paychecks and taken as much money as I see fit, I will put divorce papers in his hand, and then proceed to screw him out of a house, out of more money (for alimony + possibly child support) Then, if he ever makes more money, and the courts allow, I will take his ass to court for an increase. Of course, then he will probably be asked to get life insurance, and I will take what I can get. Pretty much, if he decides to cheat on me, I will be taking his money for the rest of my life. No amount of money could ever mend a broken heart or a broken marriage -- but it's sweet revenge.
lemamike lemamike 8 years
It seems very cut and dry but this question is extremely hypothetical. None of us really know exactly what we'd do in the situation. It is very hard no matter how obviously the right answer seems.
anabj anabj 8 years
leave. After 9 years I left.
staple-salad staple-salad 8 years
If I were his wife, I'd leave, since it's public and rather severe cheating. However, I think what I'd do is pretty situational. I believe that there are types of "cheating" that aren't really a big deal. Like getting stuck in an awkward situation, or something just happening that's entirely meaningless. It'd still hurt, of course, but is forgiveable.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 8 years
If I was Mark Sanford's wife I'd probably leave, but in real life to whom I'm married to now, I know I wouldn't leave. There are too many other factors to take into consideration when making such a decision. I agree with tlsgirl and sunbelle098. In this specific case, I think Mr. Sanford has some serious issues he needs to confront and deal with and I think I'd give him the space and time he needed to do so.
Sunbelle098 Sunbelle098 8 years
Honestly, I think it's much easier to say you'd be done and gone in a snap. How many years have you all been dating/married to your men? After 5,10, 15 years, would your answers still be the same? I know I can't conjecture.
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