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Do Tell: What Are Your Embarrassing Birth Control Stories?

If you have sex, you have to deal with birth control. It may not be the funnest part about being sexual, but it's definitely necessary if you want to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of STIs. You've got to have talks with your partner about it, you have to go to the gynecologist or pharmacy to get birth control, and then of course you have to master how to use it.

So during that trial and error period, do you have any embarrassing stories? Maybe your mom found condoms in your purse or perhaps your NuvaRing popped out during sex. Whatever happened may have been traumatic at that moment, but I'm sure you're laughing about it now (at least I hope you are!). Since it's happened to the best of us, do tell ladies, what is your most embarrassing birth control story?


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night912 night912 6 years
I have a couple mebarrassing situation with a condom but ill just tell 2 for now. 1: I went to go get some condoms at a gas station one time. What happen was embarrassing. There was the cashier and two other people there at the time. All were girls btw. They had the condoms behind the cashier but u had to grab a tab from the shelf and give it ti them. The two girls were looking at the condoms was well laughing and joking about condoms. So I just grabbed it real quick and went to pay for it. The girls came right after me and waited in line . I gave the cashier the tab and she ringed it up i oaid for it. Right when i took the pack i noticed that it was the magnum XL. I mumbled and told the cashier i grabbed the wrong tab and wanted a different kind. I was embgarrassed and just want to get out fast and asked for the blue one. Forgot exactly but it was the tight fit onces. I just grabbed it wuick and left. When i was in my car about to back up i saw through the window the cashier was laughing. She turned around and we made eye contact quick and i looked down fast she also turned away fast too. 2: I was in college and met a girl at the bar and ended up going to her house. She lived with her mom and 13 year old brother. She said it was cool cause they r both out for the weekend. Things heated up and i looked into my wallet and no condom. It was late and we didnt feel like going to get some. So she said she will get one of her brother's. I was surprise at 13? She said know he has for sure cause she did cought her brother a few times with his gf. Anyways she put it on me and stroke me. When she pulled back the condom jsut came right off. I asked y she took it off and she replied that she didnt it came off as she stroked me, I played it cool by saying i use reg size but tried large before and this never happened. She looked at the wrapper and said oh this is larger than that. I was so embarassed that her 13 year old brother had a bigger one. We ended up not having sex. I asked her for a bj she agreed and kept sucking but I couldnt get it up. It ended up to she was pleasuring herself and me using her vibrator on her. I played with myself but with all that happened i couldnt get it hard. It went on for awhile and the situation started to feel awkard so i decided that it was late and I had to go.
msame msame 9 years
This is prolly TMI but hilarious none the less... 1) I'm rather dry, so we use a lot of lube. One session, I either put too much or too little and the condom sorta made this fart noise every time he thrusted. There were massive giggles from the both of us. Oh my...we're so mature. 2) I started using this spermicidal film stuff, but I had the hardest time putting it in the first time. And my guy was more than ready to go, but then I had to break the bad news, that we had to wait 15 minutes before the stuff goes into effect. What a mood killer, but we ended up having sex any way. :)
minaminamina minaminamina 9 years
One of my ex's and I in bed: Condom slips off, gets stuck inside me: I was too embarassed to let him get it out, but I couldn't get it out myself. Next day at school, I went to a bathroom stall and FINALLY got it out by "birthing" it (I literally breathed and pushed!): got a terrible yeast infection and UTI: was miserable for a week. He was sooo apologetic though, but it was still hysterical now that I think about it.
Greentea1203 Greentea1203 9 years
bbkf, that always happened with me too with my ex boyfriend! He was very well endowed and wore Magnums and the clerk would always comment when he bought them. What's bad is I still had a few left at my house after we broke up, and I was with another guy one night, and he didn't have a condom, so I went and got one of the Magnums and he was like, "are you kidding?" I felt bad (a little). :P
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 9 years
I lost a condom inside me too. And my boyfriend at the time didn't wanna help me get it out, so I had to fish it out myself!!! XD
ohkayla ohkayla 9 years
This is a rather silly story. It was Father's Day weekend, my boyfriend and I were up at his father's house. I forget why his dad had to go in his car but he did. When he came back, my boyfriend was like "Dad I wanted to get you a card that said Congrats GRANDAD! but I couldn't find one!" and his Dad turns to him and goes "Yeah I would have said nice try because I just Kayla's birth control on the seat while I was in the car." It was rather funny.
fadeastride fadeastride 9 years
1) The first time we had sex, my boyfriend put our condom in the otherwise empty bathroom trashcan. The next morning, my roomate's friend (who had been staying with us) gets up to shower for work. Not only had we left the door adjoining my room to the bathroom slightly open (and we were very naked on my bed), but we realized that she'd have to be blind to not notice the condom in the trashcan. Thank goodness, she never said anything. 2) I once dropped my peach-colored birth control pill on my peach-colored floor. I seriously had to have my (very virginal) roommate help me find the damn thing. More funny than embarrasing - 1) I dropped my pill once and it landed next to my cat, who tried to eat it. I was like "Noooo!" 2) My boyfriend once convinced his sister's fiance that her birth control pill was a Tic Tac. He almost ate it.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Okay, I'll share. This isn't embarrassing. It's more funny. One evening, my husband and I were feeling amorous. We had only one condom left. He tossed it on the bed (to have it ready), and we proceeded to make out. We were so busy with each other that we didn't notice that my cat hopped onto the bed. My cat picked up the condom in his mouth, and chewed on it, like a chew toy. In the meantime, my husband and I were getting hot and heavy, completely unaware of the cat. When we were ready for the condom, we looked over at it, horrified to see my cat chomping on it with his mouth. My husband pulled the condom out of the cat's mouth to find that it was completely punctured at a few spots! It was our LAST condom! We were ready for it. It was in the middle of the night. Needless to say, our lovefest was cut short. It was damn frustrating. We both wanted to strangle the cat. :)
linb linb 9 years
Are we calling them STIs now instead of STDs? I must have missed the memo.
ChristinaVal ChristinaVal 9 years
OKAY NO JOKE, I think I have everyone beat here, not that i'm proud of that... My boyfriend and I were having sex, and after finishing, he pulled out to realize that the condom wasn't on him anymore...IT WAS IN ME. VERY FAR UP THERE. So there I am in straddle position while my boyfriend is fishing around in there trying to get it out like he was my damn gynecologist! It was extremely uncomfortable, but we laugh about it hysterically now. Wow...I can't believe I just shared that....
KimmieChronicles KimmieChronicles 9 years
I met my ex-boyfriend during my 3rd year in college. We flirted back and forth in class as there was an obvious connection between us. One day after class, he asked if we could exchange phone numbers. I opened my planner and the insert fell out...along with a row of 4 condoms! I was in complete horror! I wasn't seeing anyone at the time, and they were left over from a previous relationship that ended in my first semester of college. I didn't remember they were in there!! He never let me live that down months later.
bbkf bbkf 9 years
When I was in high school I dated a guy who was VERY well-endowed. Everytime I would go to buy Magnum condoms at the drugstore in our small town, the cashier would make a comment about how I must be a very lucky girl. Just ring them up, please!
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
kimdangirl-I used to be on the patch too. I HATED it. I always wore it on one butt cheek or the other. I hated them, because like you said afeter a few days the corners would alaws start to peel off...then youd have to worry about lint or fuzz or hair getting stuck to it. grr...and taking them off hurt like hell. If youve never worn the patch, imagine peeling a bandaid off...that was glued on with super glue....not fun.
Liss1 Liss1 9 years
One night around midnight i ran into CVS to buy condoms there was no one in there, so i paid for them and then started to leave and the alarm went off! Horrified i turned around to about ten people standing in line staring at me(i don't know where they all came from) and the cashier said oh sorry she had forgotten to rub them on that magnectic strip so the alarm wouldn't go off. I just found this really embarrassing!
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
Well...the first time I went on birt control I was like 19, and had never been to a gyno before. I went to planned parenthood to get on it and the gyno on dutie scared the living shit out of me. People always ask if you would rather have a male or a female gyno. but how would you feel if you couldnt tell wich it was?! Im not kidding, the only way I knew it was a woman was because she had a diamond ring on her ring finger. Other than that she looked AND sounded like a was horrible.
MarinerMandy MarinerMandy 9 years
This is probably TMI... I went on the pill about 8 months into dating my fiance. I'd always used condoms before and the issue of what happens to the guy's discharge never occured to me. So imagine my surprise a few minutes after the first time when it, uh, made it's appearance. The worst part is I was sitting up and my foot took the brunt of it. We laugh about it now, but I was really embarassed at the time!
liza10780 liza10780 9 years
I use the ring, and once I realized it was "missing", I didn't know for how long and when it was lost. I searched but never found it..
ashleygaidhlig ashleygaidhlig 9 years
After the first time my current boyfriend and I had sex, I had felt a bit odd. During sex, we lost the condom, and I thought it had fallen off, so we got another one. Well, minutes after he left, I was standing in the kitchen and all of a sudden I found the missing condom... it fell out from inside of me! EEK!
SugarKim4203 SugarKim4203 9 years
Not super embarassing, but it's a funny story for me. A few years ago I was on the patch and decided on this particular week I was going to put it on my butt cheek. As any patch user knows, regardless of how hard you try, that sucker always starts to peel off after a few days. A few days after putting it on said cheek, I went shopping for new jeans. During one fitting room horror session, I went to take off a pair of jeans and the waistband of the jeans got caught on the part of the patch that started to peel off. Not knowing this happened, I pulled the pants AND the patch off with what felt like lightening speed. I'm sure my "YELP" was cause for concern for the fitting room girl and she asked if I was ok. Imagine how ripping a band aid off your ass super quick feels like. Yeah, now you understand why I yelped!
sass317 sass317 9 years
This wasnt me- but I was home to witness the aftermath. My older brother lived in a room in the basement. It was only partially finished so technically the door to his room was the door at the top of the stairs. Since tools and the lawnmower and other such things were also still stored down there, my dad really didnt think much of it to just go downstairs (in his defense knocking on the door at the top of the stairs wouldnt do much good, no one would hear it in the basement) So one day my dad goes downstairs to get the lawnmower. My brother is sitting in the "den" part of the basement. His gf had come over a bit earlier and they were hanging out downstairs. Since my brother was sitting by himself my dad asked where the gf was. My brother replied that she was hiding. My dad asked why- my brother said, "Because dad SHE ISNT WEARING CLOTHES! A little warning before you come downstairs would be nice!" My brother is obviously missing a tact filter, and I know his gf heard exactly what he said to our dad and had to have been mortified. But he did get his point across and my dad never bounded down to the basement again without warning after that.
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