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Do Tell: When Is It Too Soon to Say "I Love You"?

Do Tell: When Is It Too Soon to Say "I Love You"?

It feels so amazing when you first start dating someone. Your emotions are bubbling over and it's easy for the word "love" to pop up in your head. After a week of being with someone you may think to yourself, "I love this guy," but should you say it? Is it too soon?

When it comes to professing your love, is there a time that's just too early? Should you date for a certain amount of time before you say those three life-changing words, or does it depend on the relationship and how strongly you feel? Do tell ladies, when is it too soon to say I love you?


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dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
Are you gonna fall in love in one night? I suppose its possible. Advice though is to wait of course until the timing is better and you know it's not going to fade with the next bowl of soup or seeing his checking account balance.
mcfolly mcfolly 9 years
I said it to my HS boyfriend after a month, and he said it back. I know we were young but we dated for another three years after that. Things ended for several reasons. He joined the military, I was off to college, I wasn't ready to be an army wife, etc. Mostly due to age and experience levels. We fell out of touch for about seven years, then got back together two summers ago. We married six months after that. Basically how we look at it was: we had this incredibly intense mature love at a very young age and weren't ready to deal with it. We split. When we got back together it was like fireworks times ten. I cannot be happier that we have found one another again...I haven't been as happy as this since high school. So while it's not for everyone to say "I love you" so early, sometimes it's just a true admission of feeling.
diy diy 9 years
Its tough to say what is early and what is appropriate because in my opinion, it REALLY depends on the couple and the intensity of love and respect between them. And yes, maybe one week is too soon, WAY too soon, but whos to say 2 or 3 or 6months is too soon? I think you know deep inside how you much love you have for this one person and how being without them just doesnt seem feasable. Thats love.
LadyAngel89 LadyAngel89 9 years
There are too many definitions that fit the three little words "I Love You". If you are so moved to, or just cant hold it in, by all means say it. If it's not "true love" or it's "puppy love" or whatever it's still something that moves you in a meaningful way. Me and mine do not say we love each other often, as it's a known fact there is no need to throw around the words that other misconstrue and stretch. There have been times though that I've said it and not even thought about it. There it is when you say it and then have to plant your hand over your mouth because you didn't really mean to, there that's a good time. XD It's love! ENJOY IT!
i-am-elle i-am-elle 9 years
*of comfort & intimacy.
i-am-elle i-am-elle 9 years
It really depends on the people & the situation. With my first love, we said it within a month. With my current boyfriend, it took us 10 months! I think it's all dependent on level on comfort & intimacy. I'm with Marci, I don't like putting a clock on when things are supposed to happen in a relationship. To me, it's considered "too soon" when you are blinded by infatuation & haven't had the chance to get the know the other person.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
It's too soon when you don't truly know the person yet, AND before he says it to you. JMHO.
Marci Marci 9 years
I've never been too quick with the 'I love you's. There's infatuation, which is what I think is the starting point for most relationships. True love grows over time, as you get down to the business of everyday life together. That's when the 'I love you' really means something to me. So while I don't recommend putting a clock on when things happen in a relationship, I do suggest being sure of what you're saying when you utter those 3 special words.
emalove emalove 9 years
I agree with AKirstin...say it when you feel it. There are no "rules" and no timelines to follow when it comes to relationships. Everyone feels things differently and experiences things differently.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
A week?? I think that's a tad soon to truly LOVE someone...
AKirstin AKirstin 9 years
When people make up rules about this kind of thing, what they're really trying to do is avoid heartbreak. It's trying to make love into something non-scary. I think that's ridiculous, personally. Love is a wild emotion and trying to put it into a box or prescribe rules feels unnatural for a *reason*. Say it when you feel it, if you want to. Waiting for time to pass isn't going to insulate your heart.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 9 years
Well... I said it before we were official, but we've been best friends for ages, and something romantic was bubbling for months... We were official for awhile, but things got complicated with the distance, so we're working things out...
indielove indielove 9 years
Waiting a year is fine with me but DEFINITELY NOT before the 6-month mark. That's just nuts.
sabrinaBee sabrinaBee 9 years
My boyfriend actually told me he loved me at our third date and I told him too. And it's true. ..ok...our love grows stronger as months go by now, but it sure was love. Considering he waited for me 4years... and me being in a relationship before (he was too)... you know from experience what to love a person feels like. I believed him and no doubts about it when he said it at our third date. i meant it as well.
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 9 years
akosijen, I agree! Also, it seems I am the only one in the crowd - I say it when I feel it, I don't wait for the guy to say it first. My last boyfriend, I said it after 2 months. In retrospect, I would say it was too soon. But at the time it was genuine and that's what I felt. Now that I'm older, in the same situation I probably would have waited longer because my definition of love has changed.
akosijen akosijen 9 years
i think that with every relationship we're in, our definition and feeling of love changes. so younger people or people who haven't been in relationships feel it sooner, and others later. so i don't think there's a right or wrong time to say i love you.
merie33 merie33 9 years
my boyfriend first said it a month after we started dating, and i was a little reluctant to say it back because my first boyfriend (he's only my second...first is the worst, second is the best!!) said it really quick, and that didn't end so well. Not to mention that a month after we started going out happened to land on April Fool's Day!!! After a week of him saying it incessantly to convince me he meant it, I believed him, and I said it shortly after that...It's been 3 years, and we still say it ALL the time to each other... I don't think that there should be a timeline persay because everyone and every relationship is different, but a week does seem too early to really know
pixelsugar pixelsugar 9 years
I hold out as long as I can. I really want him to say it to me first. I tend to wait until at least 6 or 7 months because by then we've usually had a fight and made up (or not made up). So that's usually a good period of time to tell. Or if one of you experiences something dreadful and you stick by each other, that's a good time to let the other know how you feel.
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