Skip Nav
Our Favorite Books of the Year (So Far) — You Won't Be Able to Put Them Down!
37 Halloween Costumes For Couples Who Want to Scare the Sh*t Out of People
12 Bomb Dot Com Halloween Costumes For Couples

Do Tell: Would You Rather Be Surprised?

Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times in a woman's life, but as you know, not all engagements have a happy ending. Since the engagement ring is the symbol of a couple's commitment. it's important for the woman to be happy with what she's given. But how is the man supposed to know unless he asks her what she wants? Well if he does that, the cat's out of the bag, so what's a guy to do? While I wouldn't want to be unpleasantly surprised (remember Carrie and Aidan?), I also wouldn't want to know what to expect. This is a very personal choice so ladies, do tell, would you rather pick out your ring with your boyfriend or be completely surprised?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out


newschus newschus 8 years
We picked out my engagement ring together. He's a perfectionist, and would stress himself to death if he had to get my ring without me. He actually did design it himself. We'd found The Ring at a too-expensive jewelry boutique, and he made suggestions at a jewelry chain to slightly customize some of their existing wedding sets to become The Ring exactly. He did surprise me with the size of the center diamond! It's much bigger than I expected!
Ruthiroo Ruthiroo 9 years
Oh, I forgot to mention that dh was so concerned about getting the right ring because I didn't want a diamond. I wanted something that was unique. He bought me a beautiful marquis cut ruby surrounded on top and bottom by a wave of tiny diamonds. After being married 10 years he had a GORGEOUS anniversery band of alternating diamonds and rubies custom made. It is truly stunning and I am constantly complimented on it. Also, in my culture, the engagement must have two stones. One to represent the man and one two represent the woman. Plus the engagement ring is a totally seperate ring from the wedding ring which is traditionally a wedding band. We picked the wedding bands together. Band on left hand, my engagement ring on right.
Ruthiroo Ruthiroo 9 years
I wanted to be 100% surprised, but my dh didn't want to buy something that I didn't like. So we compromised. We looked at several jewerly stores and I showed him rings that I liked. We narrowed it down to my three favorites. And he did end up buying the one I liked the very best. Funny aside, I worked at the mall where the jewelry store was located and it had been in the shop's main window display. When it was removed, I just KNEW that dh was going to propose soon. And I was excited beyond words the entire time I was waiting for the proposal. I did know the night he was going to propose because of the bid deal he made about our fancy date and dinner and that he requested I wear a certain dress---- something he had never done before. HOW he proposed tho' was a complete surprise and absolutely wonderful.
cat1121 cat1121 9 years
There really are no great surprises in life any more and most of me is grateful for that, except in this case. When it happens, I want to be totally and completely surprised. I have two very distinct rings I like and most of the standard bridal sets don't do much for me. I also have a diamond that was my Grandmothers that could be incorporated if it fit. I also don't want any new diamonds because I have strong feelings about the diamond trade... So taking all that in mind, I told Mr. March when he became Mr. The One (it was about 5 weeks into it) that I was going to tell him something once and then I never wanted to talk about it again. I told him when the time came I wanted to be completely surprised and that my two best friends had a good idea of the kind of ring I wanted (specific pictures actually) and that one of the friends had my Grandmothers ring in her safety deposit box and the rest was up to him. This tactic isn't appropriate for all relationships and certainly the timing has to be right but in our case it worked well.
thelorax thelorax 9 years
Oh heck no. When I went ring shopping with my now-husband, he kept steering me towards rings that were completely the opposite of what I wanted. He was attracted to massive solitaires that stuck up really high...I ended up with a lovely antique-looking ring with a streamlined setting; so glad he took me shopping with him!!
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I'd rather it be a surprise. If you truly hate it hopefully your guy is man enough to want you to exchange it for something more your style.
msgolitelee msgolitelee 9 years
I will wear this ring for the rest of my life....I want to be absolutely in love with it. And while I want my love to amaze me with a proposal, I want input on my ring. Sorry but too much of a commitment to leave up to your hopeful thoughts that he buys the right ring.
orbiting orbiting 9 years
My bf has very *specific* requests for the whole thing (must be platinum, everything must match) and he also wants something that I will love every single day of my life till I'm dead LOL; so he told me, find the rings. I found them. He approves. As for when? I have no idea... He wants to ask my parent's blessing first. So, after that... He wants to ask my parent's blessing first. So, after that. I don't like surprises. I have an anxiety disorder.
workin9to5 workin9to5 9 years
He bought you nice friends, lady-T? That's a good boyfriend. Sorry, couldn't help myself :) I told my fiance that I wanted a platinum setting and princess cut. I also said I liked the settings with small diamonds. I didn't pick out any specific rings. He picked it out based on what I said, and I was blown away by how beautiful it was. He didn't have any help at all, even though I told him to ask my friend for help with shopping. He wanted to do it all on his own. He didn't even tell anyone, not a soul, that he was proposing! The ring is amazing; it turned out even better than the examples I looked at. The size of the diamond is perfect for me. I wouldn't want it any bigger or smaller. He did good. So I still managed to be surprised but was also really satisfied with the selection! Best of both worlds.
lady-T lady-T 9 years
the last few friends that he's bought me are nice and i like them but i think i'd want to be surprised with my ring but i'd want my ring to be perfect/....i guess i want him to choose the ring but i can still change it if i want to!!
bbkf bbkf 9 years
100% surprised. I don't pick out my birthday or xmas presents, so why would I pick this? My husband knew me well enough to pick the perfect ring for me!
animatedpunk animatedpunk 9 years
I'd want to be surprised... But...whoever my future fiance is.... I hope he's smart enough to ask my best friend or twin sister for advice on the ring!!!!!!!!!!!!
smartl smartl 9 years
I always thought I wanted to be surprised, but then my ex-fiance did surprise me with a proposal. He screwed up BADLY on the proposal AND the ring (although no, that is not why he is my ex! I said yes and we split up a year later.) He was very self-centred about both - thinking only of what he would want and giving no thought to what I would want. Now that I've been through that experience of being disappointed by both the proposal and the ring, and I had a year to come to terms with it before the relationship ended, I think the ring is more important to me because you have to wear that forever but the proposal is only a few moments of your life. So I think in future, I would rather pick out the ring myself next time or at least drop some strong hints. However even if you know a proposal is coming, I think you can still be surprised by it if you don't know exactly when & how it is coming. So you could have your cake and eat it too... pick your ring and be surprised by the proposal!
lizadilly lizadilly 9 years
Dudes, here's what you do. You give all your details to your mom deploy her to drop the awkward hints. You know moms live for that.
julieulie julieulie 9 years
There wasn't much surprise in our proposal. We'll be living apart a few years after marriage, so we talked for quite some time if we really wanted to go through with this, since we know it will be hard. Knowing he was going to propose, he had no problems asking what I liked -- I told him I wanted a platinum setting, asscher cut, and the setting itself had to be low because I'm a scientist and I wear gloves all day and a tall ring would be too uncomfortable to fit under my gloves.
rpenner rpenner 9 years
I want to be completely surprised. But me and the boy have cruised through jewellery stores so I could point out what I like. But as far as for when he will ask, I have no idea and I like that.
kittykate kittykate 9 years
I was completly surprised at my engagement in January! I didn't get the exact ring I had my eye on, but after hearing how long and seriously he took with picking it out, it made it all the more special and i absolutly love it!
emalove emalove 9 years
Most guys I know ask their girlfriend or at least someone close to her what she likes. I gave my husband an idea of what I liked when he asked me which cut and metal I preferred. But we didn't go ring shopping together and I didn't select the exact ring I wanted. I personally wanted SOME suprise...I think it's more romantic than going to a store and saying "oh, I want THAT one". That's just not my style. I think a little bit of surprise makes it more romantic and exciting.
pinkprincess1101 pinkprincess1101 9 years
my fiance had given me a stack of catalogs and pictures of rings and he said choose the two that you really fell in love with well i found the two and months later this past superbowl he proposed with the ring that i choose i was so caught off gaurd, only his mother knew of the proposal
lily3484 lily3484 9 years
SURPRISE! If the guy does'nt know your taste its not meant to be lol
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
I think most men (if you're proposing) should know what their s/o would like. I mean you should know her pretty well if you're proposing. If not get some .02 from her mother/sister/best friend.
Marie-Rose Marie-Rose 9 years
I always liked the thought of being totally surprised, but I'm so incredibly picky about the type of ring I want, me not knowing was out of the question. I also don't wear much jewelry, so I have to really love the item (either b/c of the look or the sentiment behind it). My boyfriend (now fiance) knew this, he is also older than me & I believe that played a part in his refusing to pick out a ring himself. He did this because he wanted me to have EXACTLY what I wanted, then he wanted to take it from there (he was intent on getting the biggest diamond(s) he could-thank God we couldn't afford a huge rock b/c I, in all honesty, would NOT feel comfortable w/ a 3 carat diamond & it wouldn't look right on my kinda small hands). We did a little shopping around, and when I'd see a ring I kinda liked, I'd turn to my boyfriend & ask what he thought-he REFUSED to have any kind of opinion, he said he wanted me to find what I wanted & not be swayed by him. I wanted something very simple & clean, I LOVE emerald cut, but know that they're prone to getting dirty easily & losing their luster if you don't constantly clean it. Then I discovered the Asscher cut. I did some research online & found THE ring-we then searched jewelry stores, finding nothing, & ended up at Robbins Bros. (it's exclusively engagement rings-only in Tx & Ca, I think). Unfortunately, they didn't have one anywhere close to what I wanted, so we had it custom made. I now have my dream ring: a 1.5 carat Asscher cut center stone, flanked by 2 .75 trapazoid cut diamonds on a thick (not wide) platinum band. I plan on getting a simple platinum wedding band. The way we did it worked for us b/c we knew after only a few months of dating that we were going to get married & were "unofficially" engaged for years before he could afford to get the ring. Another reason I prefer our way is that I would hate to have him pick out a ring on his own that wasn't my taste-of course I'd love it b/c it came from the love of my life, but if I didn't absolutely adore the look of it, I know it just wouldn't feel right. Thank goodness he knows me well enough to realized that I had extremely specific ideas about what I wanted & he never even contemplated going it alone. (We've been together 6 years-he proposed on Christmas day 2 years ago by waking me up with a beautiful box tied w/ a simple but gorgeous ribbon). I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Pistil Pistil 9 years
I think I'd like to be surprised, but maybe with some suggestions from me, and I'd hope he'd employ the help of my mom, his mom, my girlfriends or something (I trust their taste).
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
I am really really picky about my jewelry and I only like certain engagement rings. I did fall in love with a limited edition ring at a jewelry store... well, it has now been taken off of their website :( and I don't know if I will get it! I did print off several pictures of it (different angles) so maybe I can have it somewhat recreated. He knows that is the particular style is what I like. So ideally I'd get that ring and the actual proposal would be a surprise! lol
Bettyesque Bettyesque 9 years
He has sent me several links to things he says and just like everything else he is right on point. If and when it happens I would rather be surprised. Our whole relationship he has kept me on my toes and I am sure then when he does it will be something I will remember for the rest of my life ... that is also a quote from him ;)
Sea of Shoes Wedding Dress
Spring Barn Wedding
Rachel Crane Oscar de la Renta Wedding Dress
Patricia Machado's Wedding Dress
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds