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Do You Tell Your Boyfriend When You Go Out?

"Do You Tell Your SO When You Go Out?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So my boyfriend and I usually talk once a day talking about what went on during our day. Recently, I found out that he went out one night, which had not come up in these nightly chats (parking stub). When I asked what he did he said he went out to watch a game with a friend. Should I be suspicious that he failed to mention this, or am I just being paranoid? I know people have their own lives but at the same time if he just went out to watch a game why wouldn't he tell me?

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strippedlove strippedlove 5 years
sometimes things can slip your mind..maybe he just forgot, if your worried abiout the fact that he didnt say who the just ask
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
It's slightly suspicious, but not a firing offense. Keep an eye on it but I wouldn't be too worried unless it keeps happening.
pax4pax pax4pax 5 years
Building a relationship is done by way of sharing, so, talk about it. He'll learn more about you and you about him. If he doesn't want to respect your concerns, then he was/is no good for you.
BiWife BiWife 5 years
I'll usually leave a note for my hubby if I'm going out, but that's mostly because I'm such a homebody and it's kind of shocking when I go out, lol. I like to have my hubby tell me if he's going somewhere and will be gone for a while, too. We don't necessarily share every moment of our lives with each other, especially since we are poly and have other relationships, but we do like to communicate whereabouts as a matter of safety and in case of an emergency. Occasionally that gets forgotten, but doesn't usually cause an issue unless I was expecting him to be home so we could run an errand and then he's out playing disc golf so late that the store is closed now, etc. I wouldn't worry about the game being forgotten, it's the first time something like that has come up and just needs to have a discussion about personal boundaries when they relate to whereabouts of each other. Get the communication channels greased and open :)
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
Well, not to fan your fire, but my last guy went out without telling me one night, called me a week later and told me he'd met someone else on the night in question and broke up with me. Ugh. I do believe that's probably an extreme case, but just goes to show that you never know. I always thought I knew where he was and yet one night he slipped off my radar screen and bam. I would also recommend telling him how you feel about it and come up with an agreement between you as to what and how much the other partner needs to know. I wouldn't assume he was up to no good though. Chances are he was telling the truth.
henna-red henna-red 5 years
I know people who share every single minute of their day with their SO. I have someone like that in my life. I can't do that, it would make me crazy to try. It took me some time to adjust to this need in another. My other lost the person they shared every moment with, and I became the other end of her need and connection. Yes, go communicate, and remember that we each have our own styles and needs within communication, and learning to adjust, facilitate and compromise are necessary for success.
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 5 years
None of us including you can ever say with certainty why he did what he did or even what he did. And asking him is exactly the heart of relationship building. So go talk!
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