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Does my Maid of Honor Have to Plan my Bachelorette Party?

Dear Sugar,

I am getting married this summer and talk of my bachelorette party is starting to swirl. My maid of honor is my best friend from childhood. Our mothers have been best friends forever and we were both the only girls in our families, so we are more like sisters than friends-- she's the best! With that said, she isn't the biggest party animal. She likes to go out and have a good time, and she is always up for anything, but I want my bachelorette party to be WIlD, a weekend I will never forget.

I know the maid of honor is typically supposed to be in charge of planning the bachelorette party, but my question is does she have to? My other bridesmaids are much more wild like me and I fear that if my MOH plans it, I will be left disappointed. Do you have any advice for me to make sure my last weekend as a single girl will be fun without hurting my MOH's feelings? -- Ready to Party Penelope

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Ready to Party Penelope --

Wow, it sounds like you are ready to let your hair down and I don't blame you!! You're right, typically it is the maid of honor's job to plan the bachelorette party, but that rule is not set in stone. Although she might not be as wild and crazy as the rest of the girls, that doesn't necessarily mean she won't plan a wild and crazy bachelorette party for you. Since she is your best friend, chances are she knows what you want, so have faith in her party planning abilities. If you are really concerned and are still having doubts, talk to her and make sure you are on the same page.

If there is another girl in particular you wish could plan your party or someone who knows exactly what you want, perhaps suggesting they work together, or tell your other bridesmaid to relay your desires to your MOH without you even having to get involved. Your maid of honor will want you to have fun so don't be afraid to speak up. Your friends probably know you better than you think, so rest assured they have your best interests at heart. Good luck, be safe, and most importantly, have fun! Congratulations!


miguel miguel 10 years
though the maid of honor usually does it, she doesnt necessarily have to. when my wife and i got her married, her maid of honor was in tampa while we were living out of boston. since it would have been impractical for the bachelorette party to have been thrown by the maid of honor, she had her sister plan it out. although thats what the maid of honor traditionally does, nothing is set in stone and when it comes to your wedding my best advice is to do whatever is gonna help you have the best experience possible.
Marci Marci 10 years
I agree with Dear that your maid of honor sounds like someone you can talk to and tell that you want a WILD bachelorette weekend. She'll probably be relieved to have someone else help with or take over the planning anyway. Hope you enjoy it.
The-Nut The-Nut 10 years
i am getting married in september so i had the whole bachelorette party come up too. i am totally the opposite. i dont enjoy going to bars and getting sloppy drunk but i do like having a margarita and enjoying company of friends. my matron of honor and i are cousins and she came to me and said she was turning the bachelorette party over to the other girls that were a little more into partying. so we talked and i decided i didnt want that. so i came up with the idea of camping. we will rent a couple spaces have a campfire alcohol and friends. what more do you need! not your typical party but it suits me. make sure they know what you want.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 10 years
I think most people are happy to share wedding responsibilities so just pick another bridesmaid to help her out. The thing is - you just have to be clear about what you want.
nicachica nicachica 10 years
awwww...i hope you have a great time! just let her know the specifics of what you do/don't want and say that if she needs any suggestions, the other bridesmaids know of some options and that you'd like for it to be a group planning event...or something. good luck and have fun!
sparklestar sparklestar 10 years
You could always give her some leaflets to places or drop her some hints? She is your best friend, she is bound to know what you want! =)
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