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Don't Want to Be Friends With Ex

"I Don't Want to Be 'Just Friends' With My Ex"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years about six months ago. We've kept in touch since, texting every now and then, and even going out a couple of times. The thing is that every time we see each other, I kind of assume that something is going to happen, but it never does. I feel like he is flirting with me sometimes, but then he disappears after we see each other. 

About a month after we broke up I told him that I needed for him to stop contacting me. Since he said he needed "time" when he broke up with me, then he had to get his much desired time and let me heal. He did take some distance, but then he reappeared. And we have been in touch since then. 


I've been thinking about telling him again to stop contacting me. And then, last week I decided that it was time to tell him that I wanted to be left alone, and that as of right now, I could not be friends with him. That I still loved him and that I just couldn't go through with the whole "still friends" situation. I decided I was going to tell him on Friday, 'cause that day we were going out to celebrate his birthday. We did go out, ended up having a great time (as always) and I couldn't say anything. So I convinced myself to tell him next time he texted me. He called me yesterday, so I thought there was my chance. Turns out he called me to tell me that he got fired from work . . . Of course I couldn't bring myself to tell him anything, I tried to be as supportive as I could. 

I don't know if I'm still in love with him, or not. I don't know if we should get back together or if I'm just feeling lonely lately and that's why I feel so miserable sometimes. He hurt me deeply, but I truly loved him. I don't want to give him an ultimatum, but I also don't want to feel this way. It's really hard, because we were friends before we were even a couple and I care deeply for him. The only thing I know is that I won't be able to ever move on talking to him constantly. And now it just seems wrong to tell him anything now that he's going through a hard time. What should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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