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Don't Want to Have Bridesmaids in Wedding

Sunday Confessional: I Want to Downsize My Wedding Party

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

While I have been a bridesmaid, and have even earned the coveted title of Maid of Honor at previous weddings, I have opted to not return the favor at my own wedding. I value my friendships with all my girlfriends, who are amazing women, but (and this is kind of a big but) they are not drama free! I want to minimize the amount of stress in my wedding planning from finding a bridesmaid dress that everyone loves and looks good in to who gets to plan what to must have a hot date to the wedding, etc.

Although I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, I've already decided to only have my two sisters by my side on my wedding day. Here is the challenge that remains —some of my girlfriends think they will be in my wedding party, and I have not yet told them. I am hoping they will be understanding and supportive of my decision and not take it personally. After all, who really wants to invest in a fuchsia dress that will never be worn again.

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Join The Conversation
EvieJ EvieJ 6 years
Tell them the truth: you want a small wedding party. As jazzytummy says, anyone who is offended and gets angry isn't a real friend. It's a great idea to have some pictures of just you and your girlfriends. Also, include them in some of the planning so they don't feel left out. I took a couple of friends who were not in my wedding (I only had my BF as MOH) to try on dresses, and you can do the same, or have them help you sample cakes or look at flowers, or whatever. If they don't want to just because they don't get to wear a dress and stand in front of the church, that's their problem.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 6 years
Don't worry about it. Just tell them you are keeping the wedding party small with just family, and they should be fine. Anyone who is offended by this is NOT your friend. I have been either a bridesmaid or a MOH seven times in my life, and I can tell you, as much as it was nice to be in the wedding party, I would have been ok with less taffeta stuffed in my closet. Seriously. I like Betty Wayne's idea about the photos, except I would just have some photos taken with just them and you without the bridal party... I think that would be special.
pax4pax pax4pax 6 years
You're right. Just explain and share with them. Maybe, if you think you can, go through your decision process and let them participate in making the final decision -- just make sure it's the decision you want to reach.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 6 years
That's totally understandable. I'll have my one girl cousin as my bm at the most, maybe another if my future husband has a sister, but would prefer NO bms and just my daughter as flower girl. I'm sure you can include them in the planning and maybe invite them to join in a few of the bridal party photos. Just don't tell them that their drama is the reason!
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