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The Dos and Don'ts of Getting Engaged

The Dos and Don'ts of Getting Engaged

Hearing other people's engagement stories is sure to get some of you excited for your own engagement, but if you're waiting for your man to get down on bended knee, it's important to be sure that you're both ready to take that next step in your relationship. So before taking the plunge, be sure to check out my dos and don'ts of getting engaged.

Do Don't
  • Do be sure you're getting engaged for the right reasons, not just because you feel like it should be the next step in your relationship.
  • Do be sure you're on the same page in your relationship and that you're truly in love.
  • Do be sure you're in agreement about kids, money, how to fight, family, religious beliefs, education, in-laws, etc.
  • Do be sure you're emotionally and physically satisfied in your relationship.
  • Don't pressure him to propose if he's not ready. A premature engagement could lead to trouble down the road.
  • Don't get engaged if you're not financially stable — weddings and everything that comes along with them are expensive.
  • Don't think an engagement will fix your relationships problems; be sure to talk through all your issues first.
  • Don't rush down the aisle if you still have some things to work through. Sometimes a long engagement is best.


Join The Conversation
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
*****I'm not saying the wedding posts are bad for everyone, but last year there was a "seperate" site called like.. I Do sugar or soemthing? ************ it was pretty annoying to a lot of people haha __________________________________ Yes I agree on these 2 points. thanks for voicing your opinion.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
I just have 2 questions: 1) Are you meant to never be married if you don't have be financially stable even if you are at age 50 and well past reproductive time? 2) Are you supposed to only be married for all the right reasons? Why aren't the married couples be criticized and asked to untie their knots when some of them did not marry for the right reasons. Why only attack and focus on those who are single and thinking of marriage/engagement as the next step? So if you are already married, it somehow makes it right that since you are already married, it is acceptable that you are married for the wrong reasons but if you are single, you should think hard and deep before you take the plunge? Life isn't fair and some of the advice makes this unfairness even become more pronounced than it always is.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I don't think you EVER REALLY KNOW when the best time to get engaged is! As for waiting for a guy who doesn't know when he is going to be ready... er... no thanks. =)
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
Exactly candace! The bummer part is I'm sure they push it b/c of ad revenue etc. No one spends money like brides and bridesmaids!!
candace87 candace87 8 years
Aw RemyC congrats! I'm not saying the wedding posts are bad for everyone, but last year there was a "seperate" site called like.. I Do sugar or soemthing? If I remember correctly.. and all the posts went on both that one and dearsugar. If its going to happen again this year I just think it should be kept seperate is all:) because it pretty much took over everything and it was pretty annoying to a lot of people haha
Spectra Spectra 8 years
I'm going to disagree with the one about being financially stable before getting husband and I got engaged when we were fresh out of college and had hardly any money to our names. We got very modest rings and had a very modest wedding...yes, you CAN get married on a budget! Plus, it's not like you have to have your wedding right after you get engaged...just plan to have your wedding later on so you can save for it. It's more important to get engaged to someone you love than to be obsessed with the financial situation being absolutely perfect.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
These are sort of "duh" things. Although I have to say if you've been dating someone for a number of years such as I have, 5 yrs, mentioning it to your s/o is kind of a necc. Who would date someone 10 yrs and not be engaged?!
RemyT RemyT 8 years
Unlike candace, I'm very excited that they're doing all of this wedding-related stuff right now... my bf just proposed on Sunday so it's perfect timing for me :)
colombiansugar colombiansugar 8 years
Also, about the whole "be financially stable" thing - it is far more important that you and your SO have a strong and healthy relationship and are on the same page re: wedding expenses. What I mean is that in this economy, it might take some people a while to become financially stable. That does not mean you shouldn't get engaged/married, as long as you and your SO are in agreement that a large, expensive wedding is not important to you. Assuming the relationship is otherwise stable, go ahead and get married at city hall and have a little party at your house. Being poor doesn't mean that you can't enjoy being in love and making it "official" as long as you are down to earth and realistic about it.
juicebox07 juicebox07 8 years
I would like to add to the Don't column. DON'T get engaged/married just because you are expecting a baby. I see this way too often and most of the time it ends bad because they rushed into marriage for the wrong reasons.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
lol candace. I totally agree.
lemamike lemamike 8 years
I'm sure there are plenty of these but someone sent this to me. Good things to discuss.
candace87 candace87 8 years
I just realized there have been a few of these engagement posts... are we going to have that dumb "WeddingSugar" thing again.. ugh. That was so annoying.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
these seem pretty common sense but i guess for some people they're not i know a couple who dated 8 years, got engaged, got married in a stupidly expensive manner, and then broke up 4 months later....she didn't want to cook or clean for him, he expected her to do these things, and they'd never lived together was just as though they dated for so long that getting married was the next logical step you'd think that in dating 8 years you might have talked about your expecations a little bit, no? i think this is also a huge issue of allowing your parents and your culture dictate your life....they are italian so they never moved in together because it wasn't allowed (hello they were 25 years's your life!) and now look what happened it seems so irresponsible...i guess when you meet someone at 17 it's hard cuz you aren't likely to marry at 19 but if you wait 8 years, then your relationship could implode....
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