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E. Jean Comes to Life!

If you haven't noticed by now, I am a huge fan of E. Jean Carroll. And just in case you have been living under a rock and somehow missed her weekly column on DearSugar, click here to get all caught up, you won't regret it, I promise! In the meantime, if you're a super fan like me, check out yet another smart and witty video of E. Jean herself dishing out some advice on a backstabbing friend. Enjoy, and stay tuned Thursday for E. Jean's new Q&A!

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Spectacular! The Skank: the fisherwoman, and the Clueless Dumb-Dumb: the bait! Why on EARTH would our dear Dumb-Dumb even consider "handling" this Slime any longer? Erk!
kyprosise kyprosise 9 years
Never ever BOOF your best friend's fella. It's just wrong and awkwardly incestual. Auntie E. you are all-knowing.
KristaLynn KristaLynn 9 years
PS: We're calling sex "Booping" now? I'd always thought it was, "Bopping". Or boffing... Got anymore nicknames for doing the deed?
KristaLynn KristaLynn 9 years
E, I am allergic to idiocy too! Best Friend?!?!? I would hate to see this girl's enemies.
Sania-luvs-u-2 Sania-luvs-u-2 9 years
Bless you, E. Jean, for sneezing and for the lovely advice. You've taught me today that skanking it up is NOT cool.
jakedenn23 jakedenn23 9 years
three sneezes means money's coming. but sounds like miss e. is just allergic to skanky frenemies. i'd also advise ms. sloppy seconds not to forget her crush but to try to score with him before skankfriend can.
missmaddie missmaddie 9 years
Even without an aromatherapy prescription from Miss Maddie (essential oils of eucalyptus, peppermint, and rosemary for that sneeze), you are gorgeous, darling, and right on point!
bondinx bondinx 9 years
Leave it to Auntie E to get right to the root of the problem and yank it out with neither anesthesia nor rubber gloves. Wow, she's as real as it gets.
Mother-Wit Mother-Wit 9 years
Why oh why would you tolerate that behavior from a so-called friend unless you were using her to attract these men.
amykc amykc 9 years
Kick the back-stabbing "friend" to the curb. We need more friends like that like we need a bad habit. And all those sneezes, I'd be "allergic" to skanks too. Way to go Auntie E.
SwissMIster SwissMIster 9 years
Amen E, if everyone could hear your advice, I think we'd have a lot less skanky of a population, or at least all the skanks would be exiled to one place and branded as such.
OhDannyBoy OhDannyBoy 9 years
E. Jean: "What? A second take? Where I'm not sneezing the entire time? Kid, didn't you know I'm fabulous no matter what I do? You're fired." Then she karate chopped him in the face. True story.
To-Wit To-Wit 9 years
The toxicity of that "friend" is palpable. Her awfulness is obviously what's causing these sneezing fits as well. I'd contact the alleged skank and have her reimburse me for tissues and cold medicine. It's only fair.
LauraRogers LauraRogers 9 years
E.Jeanius, ridding the world of skankers one ahchoo at a time!
tarynmkerr tarynmkerr 9 years
Along with fierce advice, E Jean is on her way to help eradicate all of those bad skanky friends!
merymery merymery 9 years
E. Jean rocks my world. The backstabbing friend? Not so much.
minxieminx minxieminx 9 years
E., stellar! That's advice to do what I affectionately call "taking out the trash," magnifique!
Lillyming Lillyming 9 years
eliminate, defenestrate, excoriate, annihilate, obliterate, liquidate, abnegate. This girl has nothing but choices.
missyags missyags 9 years
Oh, E.Jean, When I grow up, I want to be just like you! But in the meantime I intend to follow your brilliant advice and live a skank-free existence. Of course it will be challenging... And for goodness sakes, Gesundheit!!!!
julieanne julieanne 9 years
E., you are an oracle in a chartreuse adirondack chair.
miababe miababe 9 years
Why stop at dissolve and annihilate when you can defenistrate her? It's pretty simple, really. You somehow get her to stand next to a window on a two-story building and push her out the window. That's all. Look, the girl's got issues. You obviously know this and have some compassion for her; otherwise you would've incorporated some malice into your cry for help. While maybe you even want to help her with her insecurities, you've got to lay down the law...or there will be nothing left of you--to pursue a relationship with a man or to kick this attention-hungry, conniving puppy to the curb. Auntie E touched on something important here. This catastrophe is actually a blessing in disguise...Imagine her on your wedding day. She gets someone to distract you from your new hubby, then makes a move. The man for you will be so focused on you that any of her strongest attempts will pale in comparison to what you have to offer... P.S.: You DO have a lot to offer. Just remember it. ;)
sylvieK sylvieK 9 years
if only we all had a skank allergy. our frenetic sneezing would signal when morally-depraved girlfriends are lurking about. it shouldn't have happened once, let alone four times. perhaps the friend's ho endurance is at boston marathon levels? props, e. jean.
Brittney Brittney 9 years
You're better off with leftovers from last Thanksgiving than the ones your best friend has left behind, mold and all. E. Jean's right, although maybe you could steer her in the direction of a "crush" of yours that happens to have the clap before you bid her adieu.
Laurita Laurita 9 years
I think the only way to make this girl stop trying to sabotage your happiness, is to show her she's having no affect on it. Go get you a guy WITHOUT reporting to her first so she has no chance to steal him. When you two are established in a relationship invite her out for a miserable night of third wheeling and crying into her cocktails. She'll leave you alone after that. Or, gasp, be happy that you've found someone and go on her own hunt. Or...just sneeze in her face like E. Jean so she keeps a safe distance from your cooties and all the men you've left them on ;)
lilstout33 lilstout33 9 years
If only we could all carry you around in our pocket Auntie E. I hope this lil' miss sweet pea has savored your every piece of advice and dropped both those duds... and got herself some serious studs!
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