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For Elizabeth Edwards, Resilience Means Sticking by Her Man

Elizabeth Edwards has hit the talk show circuit to promote her new book Resilience and to explain why she didn't leave her unfaithful husband John. On the Today Show this morning, she said of her husband's infidelity: "He made this one mistake."

Elizabeth isn't the only wife to stick by her cheating politician after he made her suffer public embarrassment. Hillary Clinton and Silda Spitzer made similar decisions to stay around publicly after their husbands chose to stray from them. Last week, New York's former first couple Eliot and Silda Spitzer went out on the town with smiles and handholding, as if the prostitution scandal that kicked Eliot out of power never happened. As for Hillary, her choice to stay with Bill has often been boiled down to a politically motivated decision, rather than one of love and forgiveness.

Elizabeth Edwards says that her marriage vows, the fact that she promised to be with John for better or worse more than 30 years ago, made her want to stick it out. NY Times columnist Maureen Dowd has a different take on why Elizabeth stayed: "She had put so many quarters in the shiny slot machine of their mutual ambition."

What would you do: walk away, or stay married for better or for worse? What do you think about the decision these women have made to stay?


Join The Conversation
Blackwood Blackwood 8 years
This isn't something I'd take lightly, since there's no right or wrong choice. Each woman has to make her own decision when it comes to something like this. Some of us can forgive, some others can't, and both positions are completely acceptable and normal. However... I just hate how this kind of things may make some men think "as long as I have power/money, I can do whatever I want and women won't dump me". Ughhh.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I dont really know what I would do if my partner cheated on me. My first instinct would be to crack him in the balls and leave. But I'd have to know why he did it, and what I could have done to remedy the situation before it occurred.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
is she really sticking by her man, or is she sticking it TO him??? she is vilifying the other woman, completely eliminating any possibility of her husband marrying this woman (should elizabeth die of her cancer). think about it. here this woman is with john's child, free to easily step into the role of wife and mother to his other children... not now honey.
kty kty 8 years
i can't judge women who stay with cheating husbands,cause love does forgive and some people can make it work after and sometimes they make it work for the better.for me i don't really know what i'll do if my husband cheats,i'll be hurt,i'll want to know why but if i think that we can still make it work,i might stick with him.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
Marriage complicates things. I would like to believe I'd leave my husband if he cheated on me, but I truly don't know until I'm in that situation. When you're talking years and years and kids and shared assets - things get sticky. As for these political couples, I highly doubt the women stayed because of love or the relationship. Hillary likely wouldn't have gotten as far as she did if she wasn't still "married" to Bill. Sad but true.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
There is no doubt in my mind that if I were publicly humiliated by my cheating husband, he would be gone. Cheating, for me, is a dealbreaker, and I hate that these women seemingly condone it by sticking with their sleazy husbands. Sure, it's a politically calculated move, but it's a horrible example for women everywhere. You should never let any man drag you through the mud, no matter how wealthy, powerful or good looking he is.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
I believe cheating is wrong, and in some cases a deal breaker -- but not always. Sometimes things happen out of desperation, especially cheating that is not for sexual pleasure. With my current boyfriend, since we are committed to each other, I believe I would attempt to make it work, only with therapy. If that wasn't agreed to, then definitely not. I view marriage as comparable to long-term relationships. It's not like a piece of paper and a couple of vows will stop your husband or wife from leaving you or cheating on you.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Well, this is a very personal decision. A woman needs to make the decision that's right and good for her. Personally speaking (and from experience), I would leave over infidelity. For me, trust is the foundation of marriage. If that is ever compromised, the marriage falls apart, i.e. there is no marriage.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
These couples would not be "together" if it was not mutually beneficial, believe me. Love has nothing to do with it.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
"Even though none of these couples are divorced, do we really think they're all still "together"? It's probably more of an arrangement than a normal marriage, but who really knows?" I totally agree with this.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 8 years
At times I think to myself "how could you possibly stay with a man who humiliated you like that?" and other times I think that I would do the same thing. Having cheated in the past myself, I understand that it's sometimes really easy to make that mistake.
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
"Marriages are not an area where the public gets a say or public opinion matters one iota." Well it's not exactly like these people are very private. Elizabeth Edwards is out promoting her memoir in which she discusses dealing with John's affair. So much for it being "personal".
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I think I might be willing to stay and try to work out a marraige with a cheating husband. A cheating bf would be kicked to the curb before he even knew what happened. Marraige is a obviously a much bigger commitment therefor I think I'd want to try to save it if possible. Hopefully that's a bridge I never have to cross.
wackdoodle wackdoodle 8 years
Once again - I don't know what I'd do. I think I would end the relationship but then again I am not in that position and things are not always that easy especially when it comes to emotions like love. Second - I do not and cannot judge these men or women for their decision to remain together. it is their marriage- it is their decision - it is completely personal and NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS what they decide to do. Marriages are not an area where the public gets a say or public opinion matters one iota.
laurelm laurelm 8 years
I just cannot take any politician's marriage seriously. Not to say legit ones are nonexistent, but I hardly believe this is about sticking to marriage vows. In normal life, I think if people commit and get therapy one could make it through an affair- it is up to the people involved and if they want to make actual effort in saving the marriage.
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
Even though none of these couples are divorced, do we really think they're all still "together"? It's probably more of an arrangement than a normal marriage, but who really knows? For Elizabeth Edwards, I can see why she wouldn't want to leave John with her cancer. It sounds like she doesn't have a lot of time left, and it might be better to just spend her time being at peace with everything instead of trying to fight her disease and go through a divorce at the same time.
jocupcake jocupcake 8 years
This is whack. Cheating violates the terms of a marriage agreement (not to mention that it is just wrong). IMO, you cheat, you're out the door.
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