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Engaged Brother Cheapening Our Engagement?

Group Therapy: Engaged Brother Cheapening Our Engagement?

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'm dying to get some third party opinions on this situation and I suppose get this off my chest. I had been in a long distance relationship with my current fiance for about two and a half years until about 2 months ago when I moved to his town. I'm now staying with his family while we save up for various things and getting our own place. We're nearing our three year anniversary and made a mutual decision that we are ready to get married. We bought wedding rings, skipping the engagement ring and the whole proposal for that matter. Now we're planning on a spring time wedding. It'll be small, simple, and intimate.

Well, insert my fiance's older and only brother. His brother is 25, still living at home, never had a real job, is absolutely helpless without his mother (whines when he's hungry, throws a fit when they make something he doesn't like for dinner, etc), and has some serious anger problems. He's extremely immature and just got his first girlfriend at 25 less than three months ago. His girlfriend is 19, has a job, and is still living at home also. They haven't been together three months yet and they are already engaged and in some serious planning stages of their wedding. My fiance's brother proposed to his girlfriend two days after we announced we were "engaged." Two days . . .


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He has always had a habit of being a sort of copycat of his younger brother, which is a little backwards, but it's always been somewhat of an annoyance. Not only is the whole situation of his relationship and engagement disturbing and rushed, but it almost seems like he's trying to overshadow our happy time. Their family is supportive of his brother's wedding/engagement, which is confusing me even more because they come from a very traditional Christian family. His mother wanted to have an engagement party for us two couples, but I politely declined the idea because I don't think it's fair to clump us together in these events. This is our special time. And in some way I feel like my fiance's brother is cheapening the specialness of our engagement and love with his shotgun relationship.

I feel hurt, outraged, annoyed, and so many other emotions towards this whole scenario. And I don't know where I am and am not justified in how I feel. I just feel insulted but at the same time concerned by the idea that they are rushing every aspect of their relationship. I'm not sure what kind of feedback I'm looking for here, but any would help. I guess I just need some justification.

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