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Ex Gave Baby Name I Picked Out

"My Ex Gave His First Born a Name I Picked Out"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My ex and I dated for two years, during which we had two miscarriages. Since I'm a typical woman, I did have a few names in mind that I really liked, which I shared with him, as we had already come close to having a baby. I want to emphasize that I was the one that picked out the baby names, he simply agreed to them.

We broke up March of 2011, and it was really hard on me. In April and May, I continued to casually see him in hopes that we would get back together, but since it never happened, I decided to instead take a summer-long vacation across the country to give myself some space. Throughout June, he was calling me like crazy wanting to get back together. It seemed like whenever one of us wanted to get back together, the other one didn't. We ended up staying out of touch in July and August for this reason.


In September, he came back into the picture and we casually started seeing each other again. We saw each other maybe once or twice a week, nothing extreme. Once December rolled around, he started to contact me with a lot more frequency. He passed by my job frequently, posted Facebook statuses about missing me, invited me to outings with his family, cooked me dinner, sent me e-mails several times a day and wanted to talk on the phone a lot. I honestly was very confused.

This past Friday, through Facebook, I find out that he had a baby. I was very hurt, especially considering that he got this girl pregnant approximately a month after we originally broke up. I feel used and stupid because he deceived me and hid this from me for the past nine months, during which he tried to get back together several times and we still remained intimate.

I'm entirely confused as to why he would give his new daughter a name (both first and middle) that I had picked out for our future kids. Isn't this an insult to both me and his baby's mother? Why would he do that? I wouldn't have been bothered with it if we hadn't had any pregnancies in our relationship, but we did. And we referred to the two separate pregnancies by the unique names that I had chosen. I'm not upset, I'm simply in shock. I feel like this is a huge no-no, and I can't help but think that he's always going to think of me when he hears his daughter's name. Please help clarify this situation for me.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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