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Exploring (With) Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation seems to be a hot topic on DearSugar lately, which has got me thinking a lot of about the benefits of masturbation for a healthy sexual relationship, specifically mutual masturbation. This is when two people masturbate in the company of one another or when each person stimulates their partner for them. It can be your sexual act all on its own or a very significant part of foreplay, either way, it can be an important learning experience.

To get more details on mutual masturbation


Since you’re going to be doing a bit of exploring here, it’s important that you’re not afraid to tell your partner exactly what feels good and what doesn’t. Don’t worry about hurt feelings — he really does want to know how to make you feel good.

Placing your own hand on top of his and guiding it can be an effective tool for showing him exactly what you want instead of constantly saying “a little lower” or "more to the left." When it’s your turn, listen closely to your partner’s request, and try to accommodate him.

This kind of learning is supposed to be fun, so use this time to really play around together. Try out some warming lubricants or a vibrator to see how new sensations can change things. Work on expanding your comfort zone and most importantly, enjoy yourself!


Join The Conversation
Abnormal-girlie Abnormal-girlie 7 years
I would not be able to masturbate in front of my guy, to shy. He is not shy at all, but says he does not like to masturbate and likes my woman's touch on him. That's fine with me, I like my woman's touch on him also. I like the way I feel when I get him excited and satisfy him. So I doubt we will even masturbate together.
hottie86 hottie86 8 years
Whenever we have sex we play with each others parts mmm it feels so good
chikie chikie 9 years
we use it as foreplay. just his touch can make my whole body tingle so when he touches me there its amazing and just makes me want him more.
fcseamstress fcseamstress 9 years
We do this quite often, and have A LOT of fun doing it! We 'accidentally' discovered how much fun it was... I can't be on hormonal birth control (those pill + smoking = blood clot warnings ARE TRUE ladies), and we both dislike condoms, so I use VCF, it's awesome but has to be in before I get aroused. One night we were both revved up for a marathon romp, but discovered we were out of BC!! NOOO!!! But then... we started playing with ourselves and still had a marathon romp! We've gotten a bit experimental with it now, and it comes in very HANDY when one of us is too tired for full out sex.
Emiily Emiily 9 years
We do this all the time! When we are lazy we'll just touch ourselves right next to each other haha. Then we'll curl up next to each other and cuddle. Or I like it when he is masterbating and I all over him turning him on. Talking dirty, licking his chest and kissing his neck. The things he'd be imagining if I weren't there. When I am masterbating he hold my hand and like to just feel my whole body vibrate. He's amazing, I miss him :(
robinesque robinesque 9 years
Funny how people will admit anything in the shadow of anonymity! My input here just doesn't mean squat - one way or the other.
rpenner rpenner 9 years
Yup, me and my man are all over this. We've always been big fans of mutual masturbation.
A-Journey-To-Wellth A-Journey-To-Wellth 9 years
yessss love mutual masturbation!!
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
mmmm i love those lazy saturday wehnmy man and me lay in bed and just play with each other :) When I take the vib out, things start to get fun!
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