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Facebook Spoiler

The Facebook Spoiler

Facebook is such an etiquette minefield. From TMI on couples' walls to passive-aggressive congratulations to de-friending people, it's creating a whole new way to offend people.

My faux-pas radar went off when I saw a friend announce the birth of her sister's child on Facebook. Maybe it was a moment of overzealousness, I justified, but an hour later she came back to tell us the name. For all I know she had permission to make the announcements, but this — while the most overt — is hardly the first Facebook spoiler I've seen.

The backdoor spoilers are probably the most popular. Congratulations when there's no announcement or pictures of the bride before she walks down the aisle. It may be innocent enough, but I think it's time to talk about an unspoken rule: don't talk about it online until I do.

Join The Conversation
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I don't know. I guess I'm in the minority here, but if you don't want your life (or parts of it) being an open forum, then you probably should not have online profiles/websites. The internet is public. If you want your life to be really private, it's best to keep out of the Facebook world. And as far as this particular post goes, I don't see the big deal. I'd be excited about the birth of my sister's baby too and I'd probably make a Facebook update on it.
amber512 amber512 6 years
I have actually never seen this before, luckily! If they have permission (because the person involved doesn't have a FB or can't get to it) then I think it is okay. I posted often about my best friend when she was in the hospital after having twins. She was disconnected from the online world and it was the fastest way to send out the information.
ndw21 ndw21 6 years
A recently graduate classmate of mine posted her engagement night - pictures of her ring finger in front of various backgrounds...OK. Picture of the hotel bed with roses in the shape of a heart...Ehh. Pictures of her and her fiance, in bathrobes, as the sun is coming up...OK, now I know that you made love til the sun came up. Ew. ....Yet I looked through the entire album....
MandyWH MandyWH 6 years
I agree 100 percent. I witnessed a high school friend's very early pregnancy get outed on Facebook by an overzealous well-wisher, and it was...awkward to say the least. Not ok.
nancita nancita 6 years
Well said. Love the coinage of "the Facebook spoiler." My mom announced that I was engaged on Facebook before I had a chance to tell anyone, and man, did she get an earful from me. I was touched that she was excited to share the news, but seriously.
goddessru goddessru 6 years
"don't talk about it online until I do" GOSH- THANK YOU! I'm glad someone said it! I find this extremly annoying! I hate that people think they have the right to share your business with the world. I actually just bought a car yesterday, and since I've been test driving, my husband has been mobile uploading pictures of me and the cars, and then sending it to his family. Well, ok, I joked about it at first. But when I bought the car and saw him taking pictures, I kindly asked him not to share the pictures with anybody/anywhere. My car is not a mobile upload. I will take some proper pictures and announce it myself when I'm good and ready. Please don't ruin it for me.
skigurl skigurl 6 years
Funny you mention this - I experienced two FB spoilers this week alone! A couple I know went to Europe 3 days ago, and I knew full well as soon as I heard they were going they would get engaged there. And there you have it - people firing out the congratulations like wild fire on both of their facebook walls before either of them even posted it or changed their status (I believe they called their family and then word spread because most of the first messages were from close family friends). And then the secone event happened when a girl I know who just got married all the sudden had a million random notes on her wall saying things like "how is your bump?" "how are you feeling?" "thinking about you and the little one", and it became insanely obvious immediately that she is preggo, but hadn't announced it on fb yet (and she is the kind of person who would usually make some sort of announcement so I find it rude that her closest friends posted "good wishes" in such a public way before she told everyone)
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